SAN FERNANDO JONES & THE TEMPLE OF POON
MOVIE TYPE: Feature- Comedy

www.MetroXXX.com
84 Mins
COMPANY: Metro
DIRECTOR: Mike Quasar
THEMES: Comedy, Nurses, Porn Stars, Asian Women
CONDOMS: Some Noted
2001
1/01
STARS: Ron Jeremy, Tabitha Stevens, Jade Marcella, Kianna, Wendi Knight, Heather Lyn, Dolly Golden, Miko Lee, Tina Cherri, Mark Davis, Vince Vouyer, Tyce Bune, Brian Surewood, Mark Cummings
REVIEW:
Porn comedies are difficult beasts to maneuver. Sure, it�s easy to make people laugh, especially when you have Ron Jeremy. Hell, Ron naked is good for a chuckle or two. To make a good sex comedy, that�s a different story. Pure parody isn�t always enough, so even though Mike Quasar has a great movie to spoof, he�s going to have to do a little more than hand Ron a bullwhip and let the chips fall where they may. With Jeremy playing SF Jones and searching for the elusive Temple of Poon I�m sure we have plenty of bad puns and fart jokes to look forward to.
As it turns out, SF Jones is just a new persona that Jeremy is trying on. Even his friends on porn sets get a laugh out of it. He wanders onto a set, cracks wise and is escorted off so they can get on with the first sex scene. As soon as he clears the set, Dolly Golden and Wendi Knight get busy with Mark Davis. Actually, it�s mostly Dolly who gets the dick while Wendi just looks pretty and squats on the busty blonde�s face while Mark plows her mish. Dolly isn�t bad, but if you�re going to put Wendi in a scene with a guy and not let her get some of the dick then I�m going to recommend we storm the studios demand someone�s head on a stick. The blonde does anal and takes it on the face, but this is a stunning waste of talent.
Jones seeks out information on the Temple from the only man who has been there, retired porn star Hugh Jorgan. (Vince Vouyer) He gives Ron very little to go on before dismissing him so a pretty nurse, (Kianna) can service him. This girl is a cute who delivers a loving blowjob as she slips out of her uniform. If this is what porn star retirement is, then why haven�t some of the dinosaurs left us long ago? (Paging Ed Powers, your fifteen minutes were up a decade ago.) Vince lays her out on the bed and starts dropping the hammer on his horny nurse. Energetic and loud, Kianna takes everything Vince has and even manages to fuck him back pretty hard. The best footage comes near the end when he slam fucks her from behind. Kianna has a great body and takes a big load on her pretty face.
Even an adventurer like Jones has to pay the bills. When it�s time to get paid, Ron goes back to what he does best, getting laid of cash. In this case, it�s just a blowjob scene from Heather Lynn which makes it easy on Ron. He just sits back and lets her do all the work. Heather does a fine job and looks pretty hot sucking him off in her lingerie. Ron delivers the popshot on her face.
When they are done, Heather tells him that her house is actually the Temple of Poon. They head over there and of course, it�s just a misunderstanding. You see, Heather has two roommates who fuck and suck all day long so some people call it the�.oh who cares? Next sex scene. Her two roommates are Miko Lee and Jade Marcella. They are both living up to their reputations as super sluts, working on Brian Surewood and Tyce Bune. Ron and Heather watch as the guys lay some serious wood on both Asian fuck dolls. Normally I don�t like moving back and forth like this, but both women look good and are fucking with such energy that it�s an easy transition from one to the other. The guys switch partners and do some ass fucking. After they get big loads fired onto their faces, Miko and Jade lock in a cum swapping kiss.
As it turns out, the Temple is right next door. Ron is about to gain entrance, but someone has to perform a sexual sacrifice first. Tina Cherry and Heather team up on Mark Cummings so that Ronnie can enter the T of P. Hey, maybe it�s not the most motivated scene in the history of porn, but it gets the two chicks naked and Mark is able to fill them up. Tina and Heather do a very nice double blowjob before taking turns on his dick. Tina gets bent over for some high impact doggy and then shares the load with her new friend.
Once he gets inside the Temple, Jones finds that the treasure is actually Tabitha Stevens and he gets to fuck her. (Well duh, it�s a porn.) Having found the tight pussy he has been searching for, Ron buries his head between Tabitha�s thighs and tongue fucks her slit. In return, she works his long cock with her mouth, taking it deep and making him forget all about early retirement. She is a very skilled sucker who turns in a top notch performer as she orally worships his sword. He slides into her pussy and Tabitha gives us some very hot talk as he pumps. Great looking doggy with Ron grabbing her hips and pulling her back on his dick. He fires his load right into her wide open mouth, completing his great adventure.
This is a light hearted little movie with lots of Ron Jeremy jokes, some cheesy music and just enough dialog to make it cable friendly. What really works is the sex. Sure, the director should be lynched for mis-using Wendi Knight the way he did, but Miko, Jade and Kianna are really hot in this movie. Those scenes are some of the best feature-sex romps I�ve seen in a while. More of this kind of action and I wouldn�t bad on features so much. Worthy of a look if you like light comedy or just always wanted to see Ron Jeremy in a brown leather fedora.

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