XXX TRAINING
MOVIE TYPE: Feature
XXX TRAINING www.WickedPictures.com
80 Mins
Wicked
DIRECTOR: Jonathan Morgan
THEMES: Comedy, Porn Stars,
CONDOMS: Yes
2001
2/01
STARS: Serenity, Alexa, Kylie Ireland, Lola, Zana, Nina Ferrari, Lee Stone, Randy Spears, Kyle Stone, Ian Daniels
REVIEW-
With yet another handful of award nominations for best comedy, the winning team of Serenity and Jonathan Morgan are set to make a run at a third consecutive Best Comedy. After taking on old movies in Double Feature, bitchy porn chicks and documentaries in M, the team takes a pure stab at porn with XXX Training. Billed as an instructional movie this is a great joke for anyone who takes porn a little too seriously. As Serenity makes her bid for an unprecedented third straight best actress nod, she gets some funny dialog to work. The sex, that?s up to her to take care of.
The movie starts off with a bang. Serenity is getting down and dirty with Ian Daniels? dick in her mouth. Just about the time the blowjob gets really hot, they switch places. Ian dives between her parted thighs and makes a meal out of those sweet lips. That has them both ready to slap on a condom and get to it. Hey, the pink rubber sort of matches the red bra that Serenity leaves on when she?s squat fucking Ian. He?s in for a very rough ride because when she gets her whole body into the action, it?s almost too much. Great energy and vocals in this scene as he does his best to keep up with the beautiful blonde. He shoots a load across her mouth and onto her shoulder. Thus ends the opening scene.
From here, Serenity takes us behind the scenes to show us how porn movies are made. Make sure your tongue is lodged firmly in your cheek, because things get pretty funny. Zana plays a porn script writer. As a dedicated professional, she goes undercover to research her characters. She delivers a pizza to Lee Stone who is almost naked and offers sex for pizza. So that?s where that one came from. Now it makes sense. Once Zana is done taking notes, she lets Lee have a slice, (hold the anchovies.) With her spiffy delivery uniform still on, she gets bent over and rammed with that huge cock. Not only is she dedicated to her work, but this blonde turns in a very high energy fuck scene to boot. While she is taking notes, he even slips into the backdoor. That?s a very big dick for her tight ass, but she bounces quite well and gets a big splatter of sauce for her efforts.
Once the script is written, it?s time to get the funding for the picture. The shady money man has lots of ways to get the cash, but the best is to find someone else to put up the money. He sends Lola and Nina Ferrari over to fuck some change from Kyle Stone?s pockets. I don?t know how much money he has to fork over to have Lola sucking his cock straight from Nina?s twat, but I?m sure it?s quite a bargain. By the time he fucks them both, they can have as much of his dough as they want.
Once the financing is in place, the actors much be chosen. A very beautiful woman named Friday does this difficult task. She?s got the full businessman dress in effect as she runs a few guys through the screen tests. Pat Myne has to deliver his lines while this babe sucks his cock. I haven?t seen her in a lot of movies, but she really impresses me. You have to love the combination of prim looking professional and total gutter slut. The only think I don?t dig is the big F above her pussy. What the fuck? Jason McCain comes over to help, sticking his cock into her mouth while Pat slams into her twat. They double up on Friday and shoot nice loads on her face. So, where did she go?
Enter Jonathan Morgan and cue the laugh track. He plays himself, but this version of JM is a liquored up fellow who can?t speak without yelling. Showing great flexibility, the whole production shifts gears and we get Serenity having sex with Kylie Ireland in a jail cell. (Trust me, it?s funny) Kylie has really been letting her performances take off lately, showing more heat than she has in years. With the help of some Las Vegas Novelties toys, these two babes go crazy on each other. Very nice anal play as Serenity works Kylie?s ass with a big toy. I hope they didn?t have a fight before the scene because someone could have really been hurt.
Continuing to lampoon the industry, we see how those big pop shots are really done. More frightening than that, we see that some porn studs are not as handsome as they appear due to some post production retouching that can turn a freak into a prince. (Then how do you explain Ed Powers?) Contract girls Serenity and Alexa team up on Randy Spears. This really is the best and the worst that Wicked has to offer. (And if you think I?m hard on Alexa, you should listen to the commentary with Morgan and David Crawford throwing around phrases like ?dumbass? and ?Skanky cunt.?) After a double blowjob, Alexa rides Randy with Serenity pulling his cock out and tasting it. (What does trash covered rubber taste like?) Randy and Serenity always do great scenes together and by the time things heat up, Alexa is just sort of there as a third wheel. Serenity gets most of the action and takes most of the final facial. (For those of you who think that I pick on Alexa, please listen to the commentary and hear what happens when people stop being nice.)
One of the hardest things to do is make a genuinely funny porn. The combination of Jonathan Morgan and Serenity have brought us four in recent years. XXX Training is a funny look at adult films with all the usual suspects. Serenity is great again as the lead and gives us a couple of memorable sex scenes as well. Friday, Zana and Kylie also add some sexual heat. As a DVD, this is another solid effort from Wicked, good bonus material, good picture quality and of course the hilarious, if harsh commentary where Morgan just rips into ex-contract girl Alexa.
