Universal Max 2
MOVIE TYPE: All Sex
105 Mins.
Max World
DIRECTOR: Max Hardcore
THEMES: Anal Sex, Skinny Girls, Puking, P4P (Porno for Pedos)
CONDOMS: None
2005
10/04
STARS: Keeani Lei, Layla Rivera, Barbii Bucxxx & Max Hardcore.
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Universal Max 2REVIEW-
Another new line from Max Hardcore? A rose by any other name. Somehow I doubt we should expect anything different than what he has been giving us for years. From the title should we assume that Max isn’t satisfied with just the world, he wants the entire universe? Or maybe Universal Max is like universal health care and will be dished out to everyone at an inflated price. Then again, he may be addressing world issues with his own universal truths. (What might those be? That all men have P4P fantasies? That all women should be degraded for fun? Could be an interesting set of Max truths.) He does some traveling for this one so maybe that is where we get the title. I have always enjoyed Max’s travel footage but I have to wonder why he’s still shooting it to look like it did in 1993. That whole digitally strobed thing makes the footage look painfully out of date and it makes no sense. (On the other hand, taking us back to early 90’s Max sex scenes would kick ass.)
Layla Rivera joins Max in Barcelona for a day of shopping and some post spending spree anal sex. She is the kind of girl likes, giggly, dressed like a 1991 grade school fashion victim that leaves her Triple-B body on displace. Layla shows Max all of the things she bought while he sits on the couch rubbing his dick. As soon as the bag is empty, Layla has her lips around the base of his cock. With a lot of effort she manages to gag herself on it and get the pre-vomit flowing. He talks to her about being skinny while he fucks her throat and then takes her from behind. Some of the footage here is a bit odd. We are looking at the bottom of her shoes. There are times when it looks like we are watching the scene from the BTS camera as well. The rest of the action is fine if you like Max’s work. There is a lot of talk about her “hairless” pussy and how she hasn’t grown any yet. (No, not P4P there.) He also stares at her for a long time as she rides in reverse cowgirl choking herself with her fingers and letting all the drool run down her body. If you like long skinny legs then you will get plenty of footage to enjoy as Max fucks her on the couch. If you are waiting for anal forget it. Max finishes with her pussy and then uses one of his freak-show devices to hold her mouth open while he cums all over it.
In Miami Max watches a bikini contest from the balcony. He ends up with Keeani Lei in his room. She was tossed out of the contest for flashing, but Max doesn’t mind seeing her tight little body. He talks a lot of shit to her of course so if you like listening to a guy talking about a girl being a “cunt” and then shoving her head down so she can gag on his dick turns you on then stroke away. Frankly it bores me because I’m actually into girls. I would rather hear her than him and would much rather see her body than his sneering face. Keeani is pretty thin of course, but actually doesn’t look like a pre-teen boy which makes her more appealing to the rest of us. There is some really well shot anal here, especially during the RCA. (If you turn off Max’s commentary this is just great looking porn.) The good stuff doesn’t last long because we have to watch him try desperately to reach the back of her throat and when that doesn’t work, he instructs her on how to make herself puke to “keep skinny,” Hey it might be funny, but isn’t this supposed to be about sex? The rest of the scene is only going to appeal to you if you are in the Haidl/Nachreiner crowd. No thanks; let’s just get this over with. To further dispel the idea that Max movies appeal to anything violent, pedo-drive or ugly, then writes all over her in lipstick, misspelling (on purpose I’m sure) “Dady” on her body. To make things more fun, the facial is shot from a horrible angle. The strength of Max’s movies is generally his technical proficiency, but this one fails horribly.
Barbii is the last victim though I’m sure she is in a lot better shape than most of us by this time. She is a ditzy little blonde who is waiting for her daddy. Using the pedo-playbook, Max picks her up and takes her home. (Dude, why is Max still using that freaky strobe looking shit?) This girl actually protests and asks him to stop while he’s ramming fingers into her pussy. He tells her that she’s too fat and shoves his cock up her ass. The sound is pretty fucked up here as well. Who is cutting Max’s movies these days? Damn this is bad even if you happen to be into pedo-fantasy rape scenes. (Which this certainly is.) Shooting in the back of a moving car is tough and you have to give them credit for doing a decent job of it here. Sexually this is a waste until you like watching girls puke and then have to keep sucking. Sorry folks, there is nothing sexual here, only the sick question in the back of our heads….just how fucking gross must that car smell after the hard anal, gagging and puking? Another really badly shot facial mercifully brings this movie to a close.
I have actually been impressed by some of Max’s recent DVDs, but this one took me by surprise. Even when I don’t like some of his sexual games, I usually have nothing but good things to say about the technical quality of his movies. This one is poorly edited at times, shot with a camera that often seems to be doing BTS and has two of the worst popshots (from a camera standpoint) that I have seen from a Max movie. The girls are OK I guess. Keeani is cute, Layla is painfully skinny and Barbii is decent. Of course none of that matters. Pretty or ugly Max treats them all the same. I’m not big on soft, pretty porn, but at the same time, I don’t get off of badly shot scenes that feature the ugliest corners of violent misogynist fantasies either. I’ll say it again just to make sure everyone is clear. Max has a right to make these movies, I support that and I get that it’s fantasy. It just isn’t anything I would ever want to sit through and it’s about as sexual as watching food spoil.
