Lick My Balls

MOVIE TYPE: All Sex

120 Mins.

Kick Ass Pictures

www.KickAss.com

DIRECTOR:

THEMES:

CONDOMS: None

2005

12/04

STARS: Mary Carey, Lady Armani, Jezebelle Bond, Katie Gold, Tiffany Holliday, Dominica Leoni, Gen Padova, Renee Pornero, Rosanna Rose, Dani Woodward

www.KickAss.com

REVIEW-

Kick Ass is getting really specific with their movies these days. Now they even have specific oral lines. This one focuses just a little south of the cock on those dangling dumplings we so affectionately call balls. There is regular oral sex of course, making this a full blowjob movie, but the balls finally get their deserved attention. Mary Carey is the Kick Ass contract babe so she makes the cover and will be lending her oral skills to a lucky pair of nuts.

Dani Woodward is a cute girl who is capable of turning in a pretty good scene from time to time. There is a short tease segment that allows Dani to show off her body and leads into a brief interview in which she admits to having no real opinion of licking nuts at this point. Brandon Iron provides the balls for her to suck and Dani doesn’t hesitate to sample the swollen orbs. They settle into a regular blowjob with Dani doing her best to keep his dick covered in spit from tip to sack. There is some good ball footage as he sits on her chest and makes sure the licks them properly. She doesn’t get choked too badly, but if you really hate that kind of oral action you might get turned off a bit. He finally drains his balls all over her chin and gives her a final taste. We never do find out if Dani has become a dedicated ball licker or not.

Katie Gold is such an expert on cocks and balls that she has to play a game of “name those balls.” With a blindfold on her eyes she really overdoes it as she tries to logically figure out which sack belongs to which guy. They fool her, but she doesn’t really care. Katie services Brian Surewood and Rod Fontana like only she can. Even the ball licking takes a back seat at first to her incredibly deep oral skills. In between to the root sucks, she does a lot of ball licking and even some impressive hand play. Katie is a perfect little cock sucker who takes two big loads of cream for dessert. This hot little blonde can lick me any place she wants.

Rosanna Rose is a special girl. According to the story this is her first porn and she has never sucked any cock other than her husband’s. Supposedly he arranged the scene and now she gets to sample new meat for the first time. She certainly seems nervous enough as she strips for Tony Tedeschi. Rosanna may have only sucked one cock in her life, but she goes after Tony’s meat like she has had plenty of practice. He has her hang her head over the edge of the bed and rubs his balls on her face as she whispers repeatedly for him to cum in her mouth. There isn’t a lot of ball sucking in this scene, but we get to see a new girl blowing Tony and happily taking his cream all over her face.

Gen Padova is up for anything so licking balls is probably like a bloody day off for her. She does a nice little tease run that features her sucking her own toes (Natch) and showing off her feet. Before she gets busy, Gen talks to us about balls, calling them “man berries” and gives us a chance to see how funny she is. Even if this girl wasn’t a hot fuck on film you just know that she’s a whole lot of fun to be with. When she starts sucking, Gen pays a ton of attention to his balls and even manages to tickle them with the tip of her tongue as she swallows the sword. We know that Gen gives great head and in this flick she continues to shine as a ball washing machine. She takes a big shot right in the mouth. It really doesn’t matter where Gen is licking, she’s a hottie.

Lady Armani is on hand to dispel the rumor that African-American women don’t lick balls. (Is there such a rumor?) She shows off her body and then talks about making a sundae out of Brian Surewood’s nuts. Spreading whipped cream and chocolate on them, the makes a tasty treat out of his scrot. With all the sugar gone, Lady A keeps sucking the balls and his cock like they are plenty sweet. It’s a pretty average blowjob, but she takes a nice load on those sweet lips.

Wasn’t Jezebelle Bond a veggie-only contract girl a while back? At any rate she is on hand here to get her tongue all over some hanging man marbles. Brandon Iron steps up and shoves his set into her mouth. When he asks if she likes them shaved or hair, Jez answers that she likes all balls. What a perfect porn answer. She gives him plenty of oral attention at the sack and then does her best to take most of that dick down her throat. The tattooed brunette gives a nice looking blowjob and then keeps the ball theme working in the post-pop footage. Brandon drops his load on her face, wipes it up with his nads and then has her lick them clean. That’s the sort of attention to detail that you have to admire.

Someone needs to suggest decaf to Tiffany Holliday. This chick is so wound up that you might just need to replay her interview a few times to catch it all. I haven’t seen someone shove ten minutes worth of dialog in two minutes since that guy who used to do those FedEx commercials. Did she just say something about balls having a spicy texture? Oh man. You just know that a guidance counselor in Tiffany’s not-so-distant past took her by the hand and walked her right down World Modeling. In comes a dick and Tiffany finally finds something to do with that active tongue. I like the way she gives head on camera and I know that some people get bent out of shape whenever a critic mentions how a performer looks, but I just have to step up here. As Tiffany is giving this dude head how can we not notice and comment on this guy’s build? He has no thighs. It looks like someone stacked two calves on top of each other and slapped on a couple of water balloons where an ass should be. (I can hear the hate mail being typed already.) It is a very short blowjob with some good ball sucking and a nice facial. Tiff has a cute little body and might be one to watch as long as she either doesn’t talk or cuts her caffeine intake by about ninety percent.

Dominica Leoni looks different with blonde hair, but she is the same dick-hungry Euro-babe we have come to know and love. They team her up with a guy who has a little extra in the sack area. No, he’s not sporting the Evan Stone saggy set, but he does have the three rings down there. It’s fucking Ringling Brothers down there. She licks them a little and then rolls over so he can yank her head onto his dick. With all that metal jingling in her face, it is a wonder she doesn’t go permanently cross-eyed. Dominica focuses on the balls and ends up reaping the rewards as she collects a DNA sample on her tongue. (Next week on CSI: Chatsworth, Dominica rushes a sample to the office by breathing through her nose for ninety minutes.)

Renee Pornero had her piercings through her nipples instead of her sack, but since she has no sack that really is a logical assumption to make. She looks really good in some scenes and kind of average in others lately. This is one of the latter, but she fucking attacks Rod Fontana like he’s hiding spare change in his nut sack. She sucks and licks those things for a while and then shoves her tongue right up her ass. He blows a load in her mouth and she goes right back to licking his sack like a good girl.

They have saved Mary Carey for last and I’m sure we are all looking forward to seeing her lick some balls. She starts out by showing off her famous rack and then gives us a look at just how flexible. She gives us a short tutorial on ball licking, but her best talking is saved for mid-blowjob as she tells us how she loves to lick and suck balls while actually doing it. I don’t really like the low angle footage, but in this case we get to see a lot of Mary’s tits so that’s a good thing. Mary has always been a good cock sucker and she gives us some great eye contact as she covers every inch of his privates with her tongue. She just looks like she’s having fun and manages to give us a very hot blowjob to finish the flick. She takes his load on her face and keeps working on his balls for a while to make sure they are well taken care of.

If you think that most blowjob movies are missing good ball-licking footage then you will probably enjoy this movie. Other than a bit more sack focus, there isn’t a lot to differentiate it from other oral lines. There are some good blowjobs and some average blowjobs like any other movie. Mary finishes the movie with one of the best suck-jobs of the flick, but there are some others with notable ball licking skills. Gen Padova and Katie Gold are always hot and I’d love to have either of them sucking by balls or any other body party they feel like. I like the way most of the scenes are shot and we get the chance to see a woman sucking strange balls for the first time. Hey, that has to be worth something.

www.KickAss.com