What’s a Girl Gotta Do?
OVERALL RATING: 8
MOVIE TYPE: Feature
125 Mins.
Wicked
www.wickedpictures.com
DIRECTOR: Jonathan Morgan
THEMES: Comedy
CONDOMS: Some Noted
2005
1/05
STARS: Stormy Daniels, Nicole Sheridan, Rita Faltoyano, Kelli Tyler, Alexis Malone, Randy Spears, Steven St. Croix, Eric Masterson, Evan Stone
What’s a Girl Gotta Do?REVIEW-
Stormy Daniels is Wicked’s biggest star right now so it makes sense that she and Jonathan Morgan are working together on some big projects. Since Stormy is really good with comedy, she is perfect for his flicks. It doesn’t hurt at all that she is so fucking hot. As one of the top performers in feature porn, Stormy gets to do a little bit of everything for Wicked. For this project she plays the lead and is the “Girl” from the title as well. What does she have to do? Well she has to impress her boss to get a promotion. Give her credit though. In porn most girls just suck their way to the top. I’m sure that would work just fine though. I mean come on. If Stormy were to come over here and blow me, she could have any position she wanted. Back to the movie though. Rather than drop to her knees for the job, she decides to let her work speak for itself and butter him up with a huge party.
Stormy is planning a big dinner party to honor her boss Randy Spears. She hopes that it will lead to a big promotion. As part of the invitation process, she included her “good” friend Kelli Tyler. Kelli seems to think she was invited as the token lesbian, but who knows? All we really need to know about her sexuality is that she has great taste in women. She is dating a beautiful artist, Rita Faltoyano. They paint each other as foreplay and that gives us a chance to watch them fuck. It’s a very soft scene with slow motion and a lot of nipple caressing. The eye candy factor is high because Rita is so freaking hot, but it’s a pretty vanilla pairing and not a great way to open a flick. As much as I like watching Rita, this scene just bored the hell out of me.
Trying to pick up the heat a bit, Morgan has Stormy fucking Steven St. Croix in the next scene. It is amazing how much better sex looks when you aren’t slowing things down and trying to make it look prettier than it already is. He gets her out of her clothes quick and is between those legs before you can say “wow, no razor burn.” They skip the blowjob though and go right to reverse cowgirl. After bouncing around for a while, shaking her big tits and working herself up, Stormy hops off and shoves his condom-covered cock into her mouth. (At least it should taste better after being inside of her.) She goes back to fucking and then lies on her back for the final few strokes until he busts a nut all over her body. Though hardly her best scene, this Stormy fuck give me hope for better things.
We follow that up with another Stormy scene. This time she is being kept out of a workplace web viewing party because of her gender. While the boys check out smut on the web, the pretty blonde’s mind wanders to her own fantasies/adventures which are just as dirty and probably a lot hotter. Even Stone is the lucky guy who gets to play between those thighs this time. There is a bit more gloss to this scene and that annoying drum machine music, but what the heck, Stormy looks so good I can tune it out. I love her black boots and she seems to love what Evan is doing to her pussy with his fingers. Again they skip the blowjob so that she can go right to fucking his long prick. We get some great shots of her ass and she fucks him hard enough to have her tits shaking nicely in his face. Without ever stopping to even taste his dick, she slides off and takes the load on her rack. I don’t know why they skipped the blowjob in this scene. Stormy stuffs his dick into her mouth to clean him off so it’s not like she isn’t sucking dick bareback any more.
Things are going badly for the party. All of Stormy’s plans are coming unraveled. Even her good friend Nicole Sheridan is having troubles. She lives with Stormy, but forgot she had a date with Voodoo. To make up for missing an evening of roller derby, she drags him into the bedroom and stuffs his big dick into her mouth. I love watching this girl work. She blows him like she is dying to have him bust a nut right down her throat. They do some hot tit fucking in this position and prove that a couple can give an enthusiastic fuck even in a softer adult feature. Moving to reverse cowgirl they use her legs perfectly to give us something hot to look at while he fucks her from below. Like most of the scenes in this movie, the penetration is much shorter than the oral and ends when Nicole jerks his load onto her stomach.
The bad news keeps mounting for Stormy. Voodoo’s back is out and he’s lying naked on the floor just minutes before the party is supposed to start. The caterers have cancelled, her ex shows up looking to get back together and unexpected guests show up from out of town. The comedy picks up considerably when the guests arrive and we get a series of one-liners and sight gags that actually work. The only problem is the way go through and incredibly long dry spell sexually. Eventually Kelli and Rita take Randy to a bedroom to settle a bet. They cant’ decide which of them would score better with men. They team up on Randy and do a very nice job. No offense to Kelli, but Rita is definitely the better straight girl. She does some serious cocks sucking and is easily one of the most perfect women in all of porn. This is a pretty solid sex scene from start to finish. Randy drills Kelli hard and then finally gets a shot at Rita’s lovely box. She takes it from behind and pushes her body back to meet his strokes giving us great eye candy with incredibly hot sex. Used to the taste of seafood, the rug munchers happily dine on semen this evening and still never settle the bet.
The Jonathan Morgan tradition of great sex comedies rolls on though not without a few bumps in the road. I really like everything that Morgan has done here, it just feels a little lopsided. All of the great comedy comes during the party while the bulk of the sex happens during the build up. I am not quite sure how to get around this problem though. Disjointed flashbacks to un-related scenes is how most people do it, but that often looks hacky. There could be more scenes happening at the party, but that might not work either. So I think Morgan took the safe route and just gave us a huge gap without sex. Call if a flaw in an otherwise really good flick. Sexually the movie is pretty good with a few notable moments. Stormy looks fantastic in her scenes, but for some reason they seem to be cutting the blowjobs almost entirely out of the action. Gentlemen that is a crime. Stormy is way too good looking for us to miss in hot BJ action. Nicole and Voodoo give us a fantastic scene. Any girl who sucks dick like this is a superstar and should be working in gonzo flicks as well as features. Rita is rather wasted in her veggie scene, but pops back up later in a great three-way. Overall this is a decent feature sexually with a funny script that comes together pretty well during the second half.
