Black Amateurs

www.BlacksOnBlondes.com

OVERALL RATING: 1-

MOVIE TYPE: All Sex

98 Mins.

Adam & Eve

www.AdamEve.com

DIRECTOR: Brian White

THEMES: All-Black

CONDOMS: Some Noted

2005

9/04

STARS: Kay K, Satin, Jonice, Pam, Racheemba, Angel, Aiesha

REVIEW-

Adam & Eve is best known for high in features and HD movies that are pretty and made for couples. They also have a few lines dedicated to “amateurs” and this is one of them. The girls in this movie are a far cry from the polished pretty girls they usually use. Hopefully the sex is also on the opposite end of the spectrum in terms of overall heat. I’m not sure where they got these women, but at least the “amateur” feel should be there. These aren’t a bunch of chicks that we’ve seen in a ton of other movies. In fact I haven’t heard of anyone associated with this project so I guess we’re looking at true amateur porn. Good, bad or otherwise that is what we’ve got.

Our first girl is Kay K, a cute young thing is already almost naked as she shyly answers questions on a couch. She doesn’t have much to say so the guy gets down between her legs and starts licking. This is amateur porn in the true sense. The lighting is basic, the picture quality looks like something you get from a home video camera and the performers aren’t really playing to the camera at all. Kay keeps her eyes closed the whole time he is licking her snatch and keeps them shut as she takes his cock between her lips. The camera moves around to get the best angle so at least we know that someone is working it. The angles aren’t great, but they are pretty standard for am stuff. During the doggy the camera moves in between his legs for a tight shot of his rod ramming her hairy slit. At least the camera stays away from the wider shot which brings her soft, scarred stomach into view. Mostly we get several minutes of his balls and audio that we can’t understand. When he shoots on her ass it’s like a release for all of us to move on to the next scene.

Satin has a pretty face and a fantastic smile. She’s a first timer who is a bit more comfortable than the first girl. This Southern girl has plenty of meat on the bone a nice set of soft breasts to go with that figure. Her porn debut happens in a standard hotel room with the normal hotel-am lighting. He spends some time with his face buried between her legs and that suits her just fine. People watching this movie should be expecting amateur girls so her extra poundage may not be a huge issue. Satin has more energy than the first girl and happily let him push her needs up to her ample chest to really fuck her gash. Though she is a heavy girl, she seems to know how to hide it for the camera. In doggy she tucks her stomach in behind her legs so that we end up looking at her big ass instead. A lot of you are going to love that and at least we don’t fall asleep watching this girl fuck. We certainly don’t get much blowjob footage and the little bit that we do see is pretty bad. The scene sort of falls apart and loses any rhythm that it had going. They end up back in mish for a long, rather dull fuck that climaxes with a big internal pop that oozes out of her pussy even as he licks her clit.

Jonice does an interview behind the couch. What the hell are they thinking shooting it from across the room? We can barely hear a word they say. She appears to be an older girl and works with a guy who has a touch of gray as well. Jonice is big, tatted up and has a huge set of natural fun bags. The camera moves around a lot while she’s sucking his cock, even showing us the feet of the crew. It just doesn’t look good. Of course the choppy editing sort of rounds out the tri-fecta of crap. Talent that isn’t much to look at, camerawork that makes you wonder what the dude was smoking and editing that makes the whole scene look worse. This is just bad. It’s bad even for amateur porn. When he finally rolls her over and shoots a load all over her tits we can all breathe a huge sigh of relief that we are just that much closer to the end of this movie.

Racheemba doesn’t even bother to talk before her scene. (Too bad because I would hope someone would ask her where she got a name like that.) She just peels her shorts down over her big ass and starts sucking some cock. The guy in the scene has a hat and dark glasses on. Perhaps he is so ashamed of being in this movie that he didn’t want anyone to know who he was. As she gets her mouth to work on his cock the camera is everywhere but on the action. It shakes, it zooms for no reason and it appears to fall off the guy’s shoulder from time to time. We finally have a decent looking girl and the camera work is likely to give you a severe case of motion-sickness. For the first time in the movie I notice a condom on the guy’s cock. There appears to be some decent amateur energy, but the constantly moving camera and the horrid editing makes this virtually unwatchable. If I have to pull a highlight from this mess it would be that Racheemba has a decent butt and really seems to fucks a guy with everything she has. In a way that makes thing worse because there is some potential for good amateur smut here. (If you care any more, she takes the load on her ass.)

Pam gets busy on the same couch with the same older guy and the same drunken sailor behind the camera. As she sucks cock the red scarf on her head gets in the way. Just add that to the growing list of reasons why this movie sucks. They settle into a 69 that is so lifeless that I was starting to wonder if perhaps she had smothered him with her body. Sadly that isn’t the case and they continue fucking. Fans of really big asses may the like the way hers moves in doggy, but I think we get more coverage of his buns than hers. Another bun shot tells us that we’ve wasted another twenty minutes worth of video tape.

Angel is a girl who I at least want to see naked. That’s an improvement over the last few scenes. Sadly nothing else has changed though. We jump right into a blowjob scene that jump-cuts quite often and rarely focuses on her face at all. Perhaps she is giving them some attitude. It seems like she is constantly apologizing and stopping the action. There certainly isn’t much energy from her as the guy fucks her from behind. Angel doesn’t really seem to enjoy being fucked and the camera can’t decide where to settle during the action. (Hint: The point of penetration isn’t a bad place to start.) I am to the point where I look forward to the ugly girls more than the semi-cute ones because at least there is nothing wasted with the ugly ones. She turns over to take his load and naturally puts her leg in the way so we can’t even see the pop. Anything less than this would have been a disappointment.

Aiesha is another girl who is about to waste good amateur heat potential. She isn’t super hot or anything, but has enough going for her to work in a good amateur line. I’m actually shocked to see the camera not moving and a fairly decent blowjob from this final babe. Her body is thick and she probably wouldn’t work much in “regular” porn, but in a very bad video, her scene is actually one of the least retched. I do like the shots of her in doggy that give us a nice view of her face. It’s a good change of pace and we can see that there is at least some heat going on between these two. Of course even that goes away by the end and she looks bored. The guy barely squeezes out a single drop of cum and it lands somewhere near her calf. What a fucking train wreck.

Even though this is an Adam & Eve title, I was prepared to judge it based on other amateur flicks. That is exactly what I’m doing when I say that this movie totally sucks. Compared to other amateur movies made by people in their own homes and distributed on their own little web sites, it still sucks. The women aren’t attractive, the camerawork is inexcusable and even if you get around those problems it looks like it was edited by a dyslexic mental case with scissors and duct tape. I honestly can’t imagine anyone liking this flick, but I guess if you are really into unappealing women, poorly shot sex and all-around bad porn then maybe you can find something good in it. I tried for two hours and came up empty.


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