Tex-Ass Hole’Em
MOVIE TYPE: All Sex
120 Mins.
Colossal Entertainment
DIRECTOR: Dan Silver
THEMES:
CONDOMS:
2005
5/05
STARS: Eva Angelina, Tory Lane, Sara Stone, Katja Kassin, Sandra Romain, Kurt Lockwood, Tommy Gunn, Justin Magnum, Sascha,
Tex-Ass Hole’EmREVIEW-
With celebrity poker, championship poker, on-line poker and every other kind of poker all over the TV it was only a matter of time before porn cashed in. I doubt very seriously that we will see much in the way of actual card play in this movie, but with Tory Lane and Sara Stone in the case, I have plenty of room for “pair” jokes. I kind of think that a real poker game with sexual stakes would be pretty cool. It’s more of a gonzo thing to do though and probably something we would see in a Shane’s World: College Invasion movie. This flick is more likely to show us some cards and then have the players fuck like crazy. So I guess all we have to wonder is whether or not Sara’s great pair beats the full house that Katja Kassin is carrying around in the back of her jeans.
Tory and Kurt play the first hand and after tossing a bunch of chips into the pot, he beats her. I don’t know if this is good as set up or tease footage, but it doesn’t last very long and leads right into their scene. He rams his fingers into her pussy and then pulls off an impressive move by lifting her up into a standing 69. (She looks to be a whole lot taller than he is.) Tory makes his dick vanish easily between her lips and moves quickly to mount his cock. He gives her a solid fuck in the pussy and then moves on to Tory’s tight ass. The anal action is good and this scene is fine. It just doesn’t exactly blow my socks off.
The next hand has Kurt sitting down with Tommy Gunn, Eva Angelina and Sara Stone. They quickly break off with Eva taking on Tommy. Those big fake tits seem to round out the bigger figure she’s sporting these days. Of course with Eva it is all about how damn pretty she looks and the way she looks in her glasses with a big cock stretching her lips. He loves the way she sucks, but unleashes some serious strokes when he has the pretty girl bent over. When she gets on top we get to watch how the new rack bounces on hard downstrokes. Tommy really lights her up and Eva screams her way some seriously hot mish fucking. You have to love her energy and the way she attacks his cock as it starts spurting all over her pretty face. Anyone who loves Eva will have a good time with this one.
Sara is busy with Kurt and nothing else in the movie can beat the pair she is sporting on her chest. They play a few hands of strip poker which gives us a good look at those perfect tits. Kurt takes her over to a couch and slides his dick between those fun bags. We don’t often get good tit fucking action and this is really good. Here tits stay in the middle of the shot as she gets into reverse cowgirl. The picture is a little bit washed out here, but the action is very good. Sara keeps her hands behind her back and fucks him with her hips as her beautiful tits bounce up and down beautifully. Kurt keeps the boobs moving as he bands away from behind, fucking and spanking Sara on her cute cheeks. This is great looking sex and anyone who digs bit tits will love the way Sara’s set is displayed. Kurt has a big load that gets her face and her tits nice and sticky. This is the best scene of the movie so far.
Katja and Magnum get into a high stakes hand with her ass on the line. Naturally he wins so those big cheeks are his for the taking. He bends her over and checks out that huge butt, spanking it before he slips a finger into her pussy. Katja keels and moans lustily as his cock slides over her tongue. The action here is great until he grabs her head and starts fucking her mouth. Shooting this from the floor up makes it worse because there isn’t anything to really look at. (Other than the quick shot of Katja fingering her pussy as she sucks.) From the first stroke in her pussy, they both seem to be anxiously looking forward to anal. Yes we all want to see that, but take some time to enjoy the pussy please. Her cheeks open up and she takes his hard dick easily in the back door. The RCA is probably the best footage here because Katja shows us what an acrobatic fuck she can be. There is nothing gentle here. She can take it and he gives it to her very hard. This is the best anal action I’ve seen all week and Katja finishes with a big shot on her face that she happily licks up.
Sandra Romain is that player in this game. She gets Sascha and as before we get about a minute of card playing before the sex hits high gear. He helps her right out of her dress, but she wants his cock in her mouth. The blowjob starts off hot, but ends too quickly. He moves behind her and starts fucking that hot pussy. Sandra is a great talker and she is non-stop verbal heat once that dick gets into her slit. Always the energetic fuck, Sandra piston fucks him with her hips until he can’t take any more. Her ass is next and she takes it just as easily back there. As good as this action is, she just doesn’t quite have the same heat that Katja did. The energy is just as good and the anal sex is hot, but there is just something a bit more natural about Katja that makes her special. Maybe it’s just that the anal in this scene seems to go on so much longer than anything else in the movie. At any rate it’s another hot ass fuck with a big facial to close the movie.
I’m not really much of a poker player so maybe some of you will be more upset than I was by the lack of real card playing intrigue in the set ups. They do play cards so it’s there for people who want to see them play a few hands. For me it’s all about the sex though. There are a couple of really good sex scenes here. Sara Stone turns in another great fuck. She may be the hottest busty girl in the business right now. Katja does what Katja always does and that’s a good thing for all of us watching. She turns up the heat with that legendary butt and proves that she can work it was well as anyone. These two scenes stand out as the best, but aren’t the only good action in this hand. Eva Angelina looks great and seems to really have a good time fucking in this movie. Sandra Romain and Tory Lane round things out and if those are the “weaker” cards in your hand then you’re bound to come out a winner.
