Kill Girl Kill 3

MOVIE TYPE: Feature

108 Mins.

VCA/Hustler

www.hustlervideo.com

DIRECTOR: Eon McKai

THEMES: Alt-Porn

CONDOMS: None Noted

2006

6/05

STARS: Joanna Angel, Katrina Kraven, Tiger, Nyomi Zen, Sierra Sin, Kurt Lockwood, James Deen,

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REVIEW-

I am trying to figure out exactly why I’m even going to sit through this movie. After the last two Eon McKai movies I am pretty sure I know what to expect. At least this time we don’t have a great legacy to contend with. Instead of trying to live up to the expectations that come with a classic title, we only have to contend with two pretty forgettable releases. How can this one be much of a disappointment? Like the other Kill Girl movies, this one is a collection of scenes that don’t really have anything to do with each other. It’s MTV style stuff with a ‘new’ spin. At least this time around some of the girls are hot so we might just get some hot stuff along the way. It may be accidentally hot, but at this point we have to take what we can get.

The background line over the credits hits it right on head as we hear Kurt Lockwood say “this is bullshit.” I agree totally. The next five minutes proves that point. Nyomi Zen looks cute as a Goth baby doll, but the industrial noise that passes for music is more annoying than anything any sane person could have created. Nothing like nails on a chalkboard to make an audience want to jerk off. Kurt Lockwood enters and starts slapping her ass as the screeching continues. The background is washed out, but at least this scene isn’t as horrible looking as the dreck we had to sit through in Neu Wave. Nyomi is rather cute in this scene, but fucks like the lifeless dolls preferred by the anti, errrrr alt porn crowd. He hangs her head over the edge of the pile of crap they are fucking on and stuffs his dick towards the back of her throat. They hook up for some standing 69, but who the fuck framed this shot? At least try to keep the action near the center from time to time. Snapping out of the funk she was in, Nyomi straddles his cock and pounds down on it. It’s a decent sex scene until Kurt puts his foot on her head. Other than guys who like guys, who wants to see a pretty face replace by a dude’s foot? Kurt finishes her off by shooting a nut right onto her face. In general this is a decent scene though the washed out background is beyond lame.

Rob Rotten (Eon’s successor at VCA) and Katrina Kraven hook up next. The music is annoying, but not as bad as it was in the last scene. The camera work is just as bad though. He slaps her pussy for a while and then throws her legs up over her head. I know that part of the whole Goth thing is to have people look as pale as possible, but bouncing harsh light off this ultra white skin just makes things worse. For a while it looks like we’re watching one of those grainy old black an white stag flicks. There are some hard strokes here, but the action is as sexually engaging as crown molding. Any time the male talent’s tats are more interesting than the fucking, you know you’re in huge trouble. There is a big facial at the end, but there is minimal heat from start to finish.

Joanna Angel and James Deen kiss their way through the house. I really like the way this plays out. It reminds us all that there is some talent here. Too bad the actual sex has that same lame washed out look as the other scenes. This kind of stuff isn’t stroke worthy when Michael Ninn does it so it certainly isn’t going to fly when someone else tries it. JoAnna is a pretty nice looking girl who gets smacked in the face by his cock as she tries to suck it. The action here is pretty good and without all the pretentious porn crap, we might actually have something good here. The anal and facial would be really nice without so much stuff to distract from the sex.

Lockwood is back, this time working with Tiger. There is something sexy about this natural black girl. The contrast between her skin and Kurt’s would be great if his skin tone didn’t blind us so badly. He shoves his cock to the back of her mouth and she takes it easily. Moving from her knees to the couch Tiger takes it just as easily with her head hanging over. They work up a sweat together very quickly. Scenes like this might just McKai kicked out of his own movement if he isn’t careful. In fact, had he not horribly over-exposed this scene, the great looking anal piledriver and big facial are fantastic. Tiger has real sexual energy and this is easily the best sex scene I’ve seen from McKai.

We go back to the annoying music as Sierra Sinn attacks James Deen. There is a blue tint to the action and they are doing their best to cover up the lack of energy with the usual side show sex shit. (Yawn) He shoves her head down over his cock before bending her over. This scene is cold, unattractive and void of any real sexual heat. It’s about as spankable as watching animals fuck on the Discovery Channel. (But with a much worse soundtrack.) They try to get creative with a pop on her dirty sneaker. I don’t know if that is supposed to be edgy, but with the crazy shit that every gonzo producer does, it just looks stupid.

The bonus material includes a worthless scene between Rob Longshot and a new girl. (At least Eon admits that it just isn’t very good.) There is also a BTS reel and one really special feature. If you want to know how pretentious & self-important a group of film makers can be, just take a listen. Anyone who finds it interesting for more than two minutes is either high or on the payroll. .

I liked this movie a whole lot better than the last McKai movie I watched. That isn’t saying much since Neu Wave Hookers is probably going to win Worst Movie of the Year for 2006. On its own this is still a pretty dismal piece of porn. Unlike McKai’s other movies, this one has some decent moments. They are few and far between, but in the hands of another director this might be something decent. Joanna and Tiger provide some heat and Nyomi is definitely worth a look. The harsh lighting, overall look of the scenes and the often inexplicably off shots really work against the sex. It’s a style thing and since alt-porn seems to be all about killing any potential sexual heat, it’s par for the course. Look, there are plenty of over-hyped porn flicks, but most of those have better looking chicks in them. There are also plenty of pretentious porn makers out there, but most of them are at least capable of giving us something worth stroking over. This is just an over-done, over-rated piece of porn that isn’t good couples, isn’t good for raincoaters and just isn’t very good for anyone outside of the narrow alt/anti-porn crowd.


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