Wet Science

OVERALL RATING: 7

MOVIE TYPE: Feature

75 Mins.

Essex

DIRECTOR: Flesh Flasher

THEMES: Classic Porn, Sci-Fi

CONDOMS: No

1987

STARS: Candie Evans, Erica Boyer, Bunny Bleu, Tom Byron, Blake Palmer, Karen Summer, Marc Wallice, Tony Montana

REVIEW-

As I wind down to the final scheduled VHS review, I am working out of my Candie Evans box from storage. I’ve said it before, but it needs to be repeated. She was one of the most perfect women to ever grace the blue screen and highly underrated in nearly every regard. She is one of four underrated stars in this silly little sci-fi sex comedy. Erica Boyer, Karen Summer and Bunny Bleu were also really hot women who could perform well for the camera. Since the movie is nearly twenty years old there are some things we have to expect going in. Even with Erica, there won’t be a lot of anal. There won’t be many shaved or even trimmed bushes. The sex scenes will likely be intercut making it hard on many strokers to really appreciate the hotness of each girl. On the other hand, this is pre-HIV scare so there won’t be any condoms. It won’t be as well-shot as movies are these day from a sexual standpoint, but hopefully we can appreciate it for what it is, enjoy Candie and once again marvel at one of the most perfect creatures to ever slip into our perverted fantasies.

Candie and Marc are a young couple who break down in the middle of nowhere. As they wander unsuspectingly towards a big house, they are unaware that a mad scientist (Erica Boyer) is aiming her secret ray in their way. When she isn’t zapping people with sex rays, Erica is buys trying out her new assistant. (Karen Summer) This gives us a chance to watch Erica work her lesbian magic on the petite little nurse. That’s pretty hot, but we cut away to Candie and Marc arriving at the house. For some reason they don’t run away when Blake Palmer answers the door with his cock in his hand. When we get back to Erica and Karen, the blonde is being fucked by the handle of a whip and loving every second. Erica’s latest creation (Tom Byron) wakes up and watches the two girls munching out. Between Karen’s nurse uniform and Erica’s thigh high boots, the fetish angle is very high on this scene. It’s rather short though.

For some reason Candie ends up taking a shower. I really don’t care why because any chance to look at her perfect body (Pre-implant here) is good by me. She invites Wallice to join her, but before he can get his clothes off, we cut to Bunny Blue making breakfast. Back in the bathroom Candie is taking Marc’s little cock in her mouth and cooing over like it’s the best she has ever had. Bunny can’t finish breakfast because Palmer shows up and won’t take know for an answer. (Is it me or does Bunny sound a bit like a mellowed out Chloe Webb in Sid & Nancy) Candie and Marc move on to pussy licking and a bit of doggy. I really think that she may be the cutest girl to ever work in porn. That face, that voice, the body. She is flawless. Since we are cutting back and forth we end up leaving this couple for shots of Blake eating Bunny’s furry slit. I hated this about 80’s porn flicks and it is just as bad now. At least we are going back and forth between two very hot women. Candie looks like she is having fun riding Marc and Bunny clearly loves being eaten. (Imagine that) Black finally squeezes his prick into Bunny and races to finish just after Marc leaves his load on Candie’s perfect skin.

Back in the exam room, Byron makes his presence known and Karen takes advantage of some real cock. She is still in white stockings and the nurse cap for those looking for the clothing angle. She sucks his cock and rolls over to let him have a shot at her pussy. Karen was always a much underrated performer who really looks good getting slammed. But of course we have to cut away again. This time a cop (Tony Montana) shows up at the door and Bunny has to distract him. Before we see that, we get to enjoy Karen doing some great looking cowgirl and then pulling off a hot dismount to suck the load right out of him. Tony is quickly distracted by Bunny’s tongue on his nightstick. She replaces it with his smaller pole and goes to town. Bunny was a great cock sucker who cooed and moaned, used her tongue in an amazing manner and had really pretty lips. (She probably still does all of those things, but we don’t get to see them any more.) Candie is now in lingerie and apparently unfulfilled by her time with Wallice. She finds Byron on a table and goes right after his cock. That gorgeous face makes any blowjob look amazing so we are quite lucky to get her for more than a few seconds of hot sucking. Back to Bunny we watch her play around with the nightstick before settling on Tony’s dick. She’s a hot little thing who always knew how to play it up for the cameras. We cut quickly back to Candie who lets Tom eat her for a few seconds and then guides his cock into her pussy from behind. Now we are back into the rhythm where we move from one couple to the next just often enough to be annoying. Both of them turn in some good doggy. I always loved those tan lines on Bunny’s butt. They get a little facial thing going that almost looks fake. Not sure if Tony was really able to deliver or not. Candie finishes off with her leg up on Byron’s shoulder so he can really pump her hard. He shoots his load all over her little bush.

This is what you would expect from a late 80’s porno flick. Not a lot of facials, no anal, cut scenes and some cute girls with big hair in questionable make up. Just the sort of movie that made those of us who are chasing 40 stroke like crazy in the pre-gonzo days of Ms. Candie Evans. I hate the intercut scenes, but this is a movie where I don’t dislike any of the girls so it is a bit easier to take. Cutting from Candie to Bunny isn’t like cutting from Ginger to Sharon. (Talk about a wood kill.) Erica is hot, but underused in this movie, but Bunny makes up for it with a pretty hot scene with Tony. Karen in the nurse uniform provides some heat, but all of this is just backdrop to Candie. I’m going back to full fanboy mode on this one. She was fucking perfect in just about every way one could think of and if I could interview any classic porn star, she would be the one. (Though I would still love to feel what Bunny’s tongue can do first hand.) So in the end, if you enjoy this kind of movie or are half as big a Candie fan as I am, get it. It’s funny, silly and has some great moments. (Not sure if it’s on DVD so you might have to put up with VHS for a while.)