X Rated
X Rated
www.MetroXXX.com
MOVIE TYPE: All Sex
175 Mins.
Fusxion
www.Fusxion.com
DIRECTOR: Pat Myne
THEMES: Anal Sex, Tease
CONDOMS: None Noted
2007
6/06
STARS: Missy Monroe, Christy Lee, Jada Fire, Kelly Wells, Eva Angelina, Alexis Amore, Sandra Romain,
REVIEW-
This is Pat Myne’s 100th movie with Fusxion. That’s a pretty big deal I would imagine. If it isn’t, then give them credit for making sure that we all think it’s a big deal. They have turned this five scene fuck fest into a three disc package that certainly looks important. Hats off to the people at Fusxion for making this a collector’s edition that is sure to be a must-own for any Myne fans. From the movie itself we know what to expect. Five scenes of tease and sex. Some people consider Pat to be the master of tease while others site his love for sleaze that makes him popular. Either way, he has some seriously hard core girls on hand for his hundredth release. There isn’t a whole lot that Missy Monroe, Sandra Romain and Kelly Wells haven’t done a few hundred times already. We’ll see what Pat gets out of them for his landmark hundredth release.
Eva Angelina & Alexis Amore
The movie starts out with a double dose of big-ass lovin’ tease. The girls make their way up the stairs and start masturbating. There is an odd mix of music that drowns out the girls talking, but then fades so that we can hear Myne barking instructions. Interesting choice. The result is an unnecessarily distracting din that takes away from a couple of really hot girls teasing and fucking themselves. The audio is such a mess that it takes away from some really jerky camera work and some rather creative things Myne attempts to do leading up to the sex. When the girls finally join Mark Ashley for some cock sucking they manage to overcome any technical shortcomings. Alexis and Eva pass the big hard cock back and forth, teasing it with their tongues and providing us with the kind of action we tune in for. When they start riding we get a chance to check out two very find asses. There is some great energy coming from this three way. Eva seems quite fond of Mark’s big cock, especially when he bangs her from behind and shoves her face into Alexis’ inviting snatch. For the most part Eva steals the show, but Alexis shows up with some good reverse cowgirl that is worth watching. The scene probably goes on a bit longer than it should and tighter editing would help, but once the sex starts, this is very good. It’s tough to go wrong when you can finish with a cum shot right in Eva’s mouth that gets shared back and forth between the greedy girls.
Kelly Wells
The music is back as Kelly Wells stands in front of the mirror and masturbates. I like the attempt at shooting in the mirrors here, but they failed to edit out shots of Pat with the camera. That just kind of breaks the feel they are going for. Once again there is a bad mix of music and real sound as Kelly tries to put an impossibly big dildo into her holes. I suppose we can say that the camera is in the right place, though it moves back and forth so much that I’m starting to feel sea sick. I’m not a huge Kelly fan when she is at her best, but this is one of those freak show scenes that is more about what a woman can stick into her body than it is about sex. There is more genuine joy in watching people stand in line to main their taxes then we see from Kelly as she stretches her colon with plugs and then tastes them. (Yes, I avoided the obvious “bad taste in our mouths” joke in conjunction with Tax Day.) Adding to the joyless nature of the action, the guy shows up with a gun that goes right into her mouth. She sucks it and then lets him work the plug into her already blown-up ass. I know there is an audience for this stuff, but the sex hasn’t even started and I’m already counting down the seconds until it’s over. Toss is dispassionate quag fest where the blowjob should be and we have reasons beyond the camera movement to be ready for this scene to end. I don’t want to be picking on Kelly. She looks great in doggy, has really nice legs and takes every inch of this dude’s meat in her ass. When she tries to talk dirty it just sounds hollow. This scene may work for the fan of dispassionate side show genre, but there is nothing special here on any level. The choking, internal pop that gets expelled and multiple-pops don’t help.
Christy Lee & Ben English
Christy has a big dildo on a toilet and is doing her best to take it all. She’s also looking really good in her school uniform and trying to talk to the camera. (Dude, what is up with the fucking music?) Why do we hear only Pat and the music when Christy is so clearly the center of attention? In comes Ben English and now all we can hear is Christy gagging as she rams that dick to the back of her skull. The acoustics in the bathroom are really so it’s pretty tough to understand what either of them has to say. I would suggest just watching, but with such frantic action, the overwrought camera movement is as unnecessary as it is annoying. Come one, Ben is skull fucking her, Christy is grabbing for his cock. The action is good enough if you just stay still. Ben bends her over the toilet and just fucks the shit out of her pussy. There is some great energy here and it’s a hundred times better than the last scene. By the time they get to the anal, Christy is so fucking wound up that she seems ready to explode. This is a really good scene that could be even better with tighter editing and a little less camera movement. Pat got a lot out of these performers and it is the best of the bunch from a pure energy standpoint. They close it out with a great facial. This is the most strokeable scene in the mix and certainly lives up to the hot girl/nasty sex theme that Fusxion likes to boast.
Sandra Romain
Starting out with some oral on two butt plugs, Sandra shows off her skills and her eyes. I know I get in trouble when I say that Pat’s movies always look like he’s trying to be Jules Jordan, but people forget the second half of that theory. When he isn’t trying to look like Jules, he appears to be imitating Skeeter Kerkove. The latter definitely seems to be the case here. Sandra is suddenly in a cage with three guys pawing at her. Two of them stick around to throw the cage aside and start fucking her. Sandra is at full speed for the word go, spitting, talking and trying to suck every cock she can see. The action is frantic again, making the camerawork even more important. When you have this much going on, the last thing you want is for the camera to move enough to be noticed. The guys try to calm her down a bit by doubling up in her pussy. Lots of dick rubbing here for those who find such things hot. I prefer the single guy reverse cowgirl because we can actually see Sandra’s body, but that’s just me. The action is fast and furious with a definite emphasis on dirty talk and side show sexuality. There is enough cock rubbing going on here to make anyone wonder when their balls are going to start slamming together. They cum in a bowl and she drinks it down.
Jada Fire
Miss Jada Fire is one of the most strokeable women in all of porn. She’s hot, she knows it and she isn’t afraid to show it. The tease consists of some A2M on anal beads. When that is over, she drops to her knees and takes on two big hard cocks at once. Jada love two at once and drops down on one dick while sucking the other. Anyone who enjoys the skin contrast offered by hot interracial sex will have fun with this. Of course right in the middle she stops to piss a bit. (Yawn, where’s the remote) When that boredom passes we can enjoy some really hot action. Jada sticks that big black booty high in the air and lets Mr. Pete just work her over. Both guys get in there for some hot DP, showing that Jada can take anything the white boys can dish out. (I just saw her in a Joey Silvera strap on movie. She can dish it out pretty hard as well.) They reward her with two big loads of goo. I like the way this scene is shot probably better than any of the others. Less camera movement can often mean a much better scene. Just let the performers do their thing.
Missy Monroe
One cock is not enough for Missy so Pat brings her a whole mope squad. She struts in with her big tits bouncing and stars sampling all of the meat that is ready for her. I like the pink outfit, but the guys seem interested only in skull fucking the naughty blonde and holding her nose until she chokes. This is a pretty decent blowbang with good energy, a willing girl and enough mope dick to make her happy. She even talks dirty a little bit and that helps a great deal. They cream her face so much that she looks like a fresh morning donut. Somehow I think she could handle even more.
Bonus
There are two discs worth of bonus material here. That’s bound to be worth the price of admission for any Myne fan. The first disc features “Pat Myne: The AVN Nominations.” It is essentially an eight scene compilation of scenes from his AVN nominated lines. At nearly two and a half hours, it is quite a bonus disc and includes a hot scene with Dana Vespoli. It also features a cumshot recap from the main feature that would probably be better if located on the original DVD. The final disc is packed with Pat Myne interviews. He sits in front of huge posters and reminds us all that some people consider him to be the “King of tease” or the “Maestro of the Tease.” Then we see some BTS interviews from his Myne Tease line. Back to the office, Pat tells us a story about how he had a tough time shooting a multiple cream pie scene. There are some gems during this two and a half hour interview reel, but there are also moments that will leave you scratching your head. There are two cameras going so he’s often looking away from the one shooting him. He keeps his glasses on and seems disconnected for much of the time.
There is a lot of stuff here. Some of it is very good, some of it needs work and some of it just falls flat. Overall this is a great collection for anyone who is a big Pat Myne fan. The bonus discs are packed with bonus scenes and interesting interview footage. That stuff is great added value for anyone picking up the movie. As for the feature itself is has great moments. Missy does a really nice blowbang. If you’re into that sort of thing, her energy will carry the day. Eva and Alexis team up for a solid scene as well. Christy Lee does an amazing anal scene with Ben. It has some technical issues, but from a pure heat standpoint, it is tough to beat. On the other end of things, Kelly and Sandra show little life at all. They just seem to be going through the motions. I never know who to blame for scenes like these. Is it the director who can’t get the most out of his talent or the talent just mailing it in? Either way, these scenes are flat. The biggest chinks in the armor though are on the technical side. Not to contradict Mike Ramone or anything, but Pat’s camera work could use some tweaking. He’s all over the place when he doesn’t need to be. Sometimes a static shot of frantic fucking is all we need. Too much movement reminds us all that there is a guy with a camera capturing the action. You’ve got good stuff here Pat, just stop and let us enjoy it. The sound is fucked up. Why they chose to run music just loud enough to drown out the girls is beyond me. Either go with music or don’t, but when you mix it this way, we end up with neither music nor real sounds. It will sound like piling on, but hearing Pat barking out instructions instead of the girls is just another problem that has to be overcome. Your name is on the box, we don’t need to hear you to know it’s a Pat Myne movie. (And this goes for other directors as well; I’m not picking on Pat. I said the same thing about a Jules Jordan movie recently.) The overall grade is higher on this DVD because the bonus disc more than doubles the amount of sex you get for your buck. I think it’s worth at least a half grade bump. The feature itself is decent, but flawed. Nothing a little tightening and polish can’t fix though.
