MyPlace 3: A Place for Whores
MOVIE TYPE: All Sex
215 Mins.
Greedy/Digital Sin
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www.PornStarVOD.com
DIRECTOR: Eli Kayzen
THEMES: Porn Stars, Big Tits
CONDOMS: None
2007
2/07
STARS: Jenna Haze, Dana DeArmond, Gianna, Hillary Scott, Katja Kassin, Justice Young, Johnny Sins, Mark Wood & Daniel
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REVIEW-
I don’t know how we would classify this movie. It’s kind of like a gonzo flick in that it follows the lives (such as they are) of some characters. It is shot like your standard wall to wall movie. It throws in some pop culture hot points with its MySpace.com angles and it even gives us the cackling frat boy mentality of the BangBros stuff. So what the hell is it? It’s a movie where Eli and his friends (Among them Brother Love) cruise MySpace to find porn girls. They try to hook up with them (scoring 100% of the time) and invite them over for fun. Then one of the guys gets to fuck said porn star while his three friends watch, comment and generally get in the way for anyone who isn’t into having other guys hanging out while they fuck. This particular volume of the series is an all-star edition and it lives up to that name in a big way. Jenna Haze, Gianna Michaels, Hillary Scott, Katja Kassin and Dana DeArmond in the same movie? That’s about as solid a cast as you could possibly put together these days. On the strength of these five women alone, this should be one of the best movies currently available for rental or purchase at your favorite smut outlet.
Dana DeArmond & Justice Young
The first girl up is MySpace icon Dana DeArmond. We have to hang out with the guys at a BBQ for a long time before she ever shows up. Then we watch her check her MySpace page and sit through a wrestling match. It takes fifteen minutes to get to the action, but it is worth the wait. Dana makes great eye contact as she sucks his dick. All of a sudden they are in a big hurry though. After that long lead, they rush through the blowjob and start power fucking. There is some good footage here, but she also shoves her fist down her throat for some reason. Where do they get this shit? The action picks up when they put Dana in doggy. Those thighs and her ass are eye candy for sure, but the intensity never slows. Dana rides hard on that dick and shows off her legs during some nicely shot reverse cowgirl. What I love about Dana is the energy she brings. She isn’t afraid to scream, sweat and put a little bit of physicality into her fucking. The piledriver is fantastic and she talks to the camera, telling us all how he is massaging her cervix. In the end she takes a shot on the face and we get to see how Dana DeArmond, internet superstar, looks with jizz dripping down her chin.
The lead up to this scene is excruciating. The guys are understandably excited to have Hillary coming by, but come on. Once Hillary shows up the sex comes pretty quickly. She sucks dick in a heartbeat, dropping to her knees and taking him deep into her throat without a hint of a quag. Watching Hillary suck dick is really one of the great joys for any porn fan. She handles meat well and seems to be having fun with this scene. Hillary talks dirty to her costar and the camera as she rides his dick. All of the background chatter is quite distracting, but you just have to let all that go so you can enjoy this truly spectacular woman do her thing. We know that Hillary is more than just a two-hole superstar. She stays on top with his dick sliding into her ass. Ever the hot talker, Hillary owns this scene and takes everything he’s got and could still take more. He takes her from behind and then rolls her over to give us a really nice view of her pussy as she rubs her clit. Hillary pulls her hair out of the way as her face and tits get blasted with a big load of hot cream. This girl is so hot that she can overcome any obstacle.
Gianna Michaels & Johnny Sinns
This time we have to sit through ten minutes of the guys laughing, emailing Gianna and moving the camera around like they’re on a fucking raft before we get to the action. Interesting seduction footage or just annoying frat boy banter? You decide. By the time Gianna opens her door in her tiny shorts and bikini top, we have heard all we need to hear from this crew. When Gianna starts interacting we can at least enjoy her body as she teases. There is some great tit footage here so don’t skip over it totally. Eventually her face is upside down as she opens wide for Johnny’s fuck stick. Gianna is the sort of girl who just takes over a scene. She goes after what she wants, looks stunning from every angle and fucks like she’s trying to get hers. The reverse cowgirl is great for tit footage, but pretty much every position works in this scene. As much as I love Hillary, there is no one in porn right now with better raw energy than Gianna. She gets just pounded in the couch in this scene and it is nothing short of brilliant. He finally explodes on her face. Even with all the silliness we had to sit through, this fucking scene is worth it. Gianna is a queen.
Katja Kassin
After that great sex scene, the lengthy build up for Katja just feels like torture. It literally takes forever to get to the action. Unless you like a bunch of guys cracking each other up talking about butt hair, then skip forward to the action. When she finally starts sucking his dick, the light from behind them is distracting. I like watching Katja suck, but that long lead made it tough for her to ramp up the heat fast enough. When she gets on top and starts showing off that ass, things do heat up. If Gianna has the best tits in the business, one could easily argue that Katja still has the hottest ass in all the land. Even with the annoying washed out look from the window, her ass takes center stage and makes the whole scene work quite well. She rides him until every inch of dick vanishes between her big German cheeks. The eye candy fact would be a lot higher with better lighting, but if you just focus on her energy, this is still pretty good. He gives her a nice load right on the face to finish things off.
Jenna Haze & Mark Wood
Sitting through the pre-scene stuff this time just might kill you. Hot little Jenna is here and ready to fuck, but he guys have to cackle, joke and generally make asses of themselves before we get to see the action. That can be forgiven once Jenna starts sucking cock though. She knows just how to talk to the camera and to her costar as she works him over with her hand. If not for the inane giggling behind the camera, things would be running along perfectly. Jenna climbs up and rides his lucky face, feeding him that hot little pussy. Reaching around behind her, she fingers her asshole while cooing about how much she loves his dick. She rolls over and invites him right into her ass. The reverse cowgirl is awesome here. She slides up and down while working her pussy with a toy. Capping off this bit of anal perfection, Jenna jerks him right off into her mouth. She is a superstar and she knows exactly how much we love to watch her be a nasty little slut.
There is a whole lot that could be cut out of this movie. I know what they are going for with the set ups, and they work to some degree. Adding the MySpace seduction stuff modernizes things quite a bit. In some ways this feels like a 2007 version of Ed Powers’ Bus Stop Tails. The problem is that just like those movies, the pre-scene stuff goes on for too long. It plays like something unedited or that was made for the amusement of the other people in the room rather than for the guys plunking down their hard earned cash to watch these girls get nasty. Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve never been big on hearing a bunch of guys crack jokes when there is someone like Gianna or Hillary to watch. Sexually the movie is pretty fantastic. Dana brings a great deal of energy to the table and plays well with the watching crowd. Hillary just devours guys and steals the show here like she always does. Gianna is pure fucking heat. She teases, she takes charge and her scene alone is worth the price of admission. Katja’s is the weak link here, but it isn’t her fault. The lead in is long and dreadfully boring and then the picture looks like hell thanks to some bad lighting choices. Jenna brings the movie back with a finale that shows us all why she is such a star. There is a still a freshness to Jenna that never goes away even when she’s being as dirty a whore as anyone in the business. That’s why we love her. I love the sex, appreciate the set up, but wish they would cut the movie a little tighter. With less frat boy antics and more tease, this could be as good a line as anything in whatever genre we decide to put this in.
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