Punk’d Ur Ass
MOVIE TYPE:
114ins.
Pleasure/Matt Zane Productions
www.PleeasureProductions.com
www.PunkedURAss.com
DIRECTOR: Matt Zane
THEMES: Sex in Cars, Anal Sex
CONDOMS: None
2007
10/07
STARS: Jessica Valeintino, Tera Wray, Kayla Synz, Holly West, Fat Girl, Rick Masters, Brandon X & The Zane Brothers
Punk’d Ur Ass
REVIEW-
Matt Zane sums up this movie right away. “This movie is not about guys doing stupid shot for no reason.” He says. “It is about guys doing stupid shit to get pussy.” Can’t argue with that. If we’re going to watch anyone doing stupid shit, the least they can do is give us some hot sex as a payoff. Matt Zane knows a thing or two about creating spectacles around his porn. He’s got plenty of buzz on this one. A suspension act, a mixed martial arts champion and Dave Navarro. (When exactly did he become someone anyone wants to see in a porn flick?) To be honest, this is the kind of movie that makes me cringe. The potential train wreck factor is just so high. With the focus on silly pranks and a “Jackass” mentality, some directors would drop the ball sexually. Can Zane avoid that? Can he focus on good sex while handing by hooks from the ceiling? That remains to be seen I suppose.
Tera Wray & Matt Zane
Matt is set up to do his suspension act. Tera likes the idea that he has to abstain from sex for a month and agrees to blow him if he will lift her up while he is suspended. The whole thing is taped for some show hosted by Dave Navarro so that is where you get his guest star bit. After almost fifteen minutes of set up, we get to watch the act. I don’t want to give anything away, but Matt does pull off the Tera lift and earns his blowjob. The whole suspension thing is interesting. Fifteen minutes of it might be too much if this is going to be the pace of the whole movie, but we’ll have to see what happens from here on out. While Tera is waiting for Matt to finish his post show interviews, Mark Zane talks her into a little fun on the side. She is plenty horny and gets down to suck his dick. Maybe this isn’t the Zane we were expecting to see, but the important stuff is the same. It’s Tera sucking cock and that’s a good thing. Sucking isn’t enough for this horny babe though. She wants that meat in her pussy. With Mark holding the camera, this becomes a POV scene with a very loud Tera screaming her way through it. This is a pretty good sex scene, but we had to wait a long time for it. There is a lot of great energy, especially when she is on top, working her hips and shaking her tits at the camera. The big facial at the end is definitely worth sticking around for. Tera is pretty damn hot folks and Mark is the lucky Zane on this day.
Holly West & Rick Masters
Rick Masters has to wrestle a “fat chick” to earn his prize. If he beats the chubby babe, then he gets to fuck Holly. If not, Mark Zane gets her. Riley Payton is the girl and she’s a 200 pounder who wants to keep Rick from getting what he wants. The oil wrestling doesn’t last long so we don’t have the dragging set up footage. Wiping down first, Rick is in fighting shape and ready to fuck Holly the hottie. She looks a little bit like Julia Bond, especially with a dick between her pretty lips. Her ass isn’t as big and full as Julia’s, but the cowgirl is still pretty hot and features on hell of a nice penetration shot. She is a great dirty talker, begging him to fuck her harder. The doggy stuff is the best of the scene because she shows off her legs and arches her back nicely. It’s a hot scene, but he dribbles most of his load into his fist instead of on her face. Nice job though. This is a prize worth fighting for.
Jessica Valentino & Brandon X
What will a guy do for a blowjob from a hot young porn chick? Apparently Brandon is willing to run around on Hollywood Blvd. dancing and acting like a basic ass clown. Oddly enough he fits right in. This is potentially shitty stuff that actually works. When he slips into a fancy clothing store and starts looking at pants, I just about busted up laughing. Having earned his blowjob, Brandon gets to watch Jessica play with herself in the back of the van before she starts sucking. The back seat action is pretty hot here. They drive down the street and Jessica is happy to suck not only Brandon’s dick, but Mark’s as well. She keeps both guys going with a hand and mouth technique that she must have perfected along the way. They reward her by busting big nuts on her pretty face. Everyone plays, even the guys who don’t go dancing in a G String.
Kayla Synz & Mark Zane
Maybe Mark gets the pussy when his brother gets hung from hooks and he might get free head in a van, but all of that comes at a price. He has to get into the ring with a champion mixed martial arts fighter. The fight lasts less than a minute and even with pads on, Mark gets brutalized pretty good. Hot blonde Kayla agrees that he defiantly earned his shot at her ass. Mark recovers quickly from his injuries (Quick, someone call Senator Mitchell’s office) and is ready to go after that fine backside. She actually asks him if she can suck his cock, proving that she knows exactly what we want to hear. He puts her on all fours and fucks her face. Her pussy opens up and she is very vocal as Mark pumps her. When she finally asks for it up her ass, Mark sits back and lets Kayla do all of the work. Nothing like having a hot blonde jerk you off with her colon to make you forget about getting your head kicked in. Taking out his frustrations, Zane blasts that asshole like he’s trying to knock her the fuck out. They cap things off with a huge load of cum for her face. Kayla turns in a great scene and ends the movie perfectly.
Wow, I liked this one a lot more than I thought I would. It has a lot of potential to suck. Somehow it doesn’t. The blend of goofy stunts and hot sex works more often than not. There is a good variety offered in the stunts. Matt Zane’s suspension act is interesting, though the twenty minutes it takes up is a bit much. It feels like he’s trying to pump up his screen time and create an excuse to include Dave Navarro in the project. Somehow I think most people watching care more about Tera sucking cock than a drive by cameo by a pseudo-celebrity. Perhaps I’m wrong, but I doubt it. The twist to the sexual pay off is pretty cool though. After that, the pace gets better. Masters wrestles a fat chick for a shot at a hot one. We get some hilarious footage of a dude in a thong acting like a total dork just to get blown. He does so and we get to watch a hot chick suck two cocks in the back of a moving van. Mark Zane’s fight is short but brutal. He had to work hard for his shot at Kayla’s ass. I really liked this movie. The sex scenes are good and the stuff in between is fun to watch. If you’re looking for something interesting to watch in between your sex scenes, then give this one a look. I don’t know of Matt Zane can pull it off often enough to turn this into a series, but for one movie at least, he gives us something pretty damn good.
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