Getting It Up With the Kardassians


MOVIE TYPE:

128 Mins.

Venom/Juicy

www.Kardassians.com

DIRECTOR: Jordan Septo

THEMES: Big Tits

CONDOMS: None

2008

STARS: Audrey Bitoni, Nikki Benz, Eva Angelina, Mikayla, Starla Sterling, Kendra Secrets, Jack Venice, Talon, Derrick Pierce & Van Damage

REVIEW-

I don’t know if I ever noticed it before, but Audrey Bitoni looks just a little bit like Kim Kardashian. Even if she didn’t, we could still have this movie. The Kardashian reality show is ripe for parody. It’s a pointless show about a shallow, pointless group of people. All of them would be far more interesting with cocks in their mouths. That is what we get here. Audrey as the star, fucks a movie star and gives up her body to her girlfriends. Her hot sister is played by Mikayla and she needs only some rubbing in the right places to go from zero to “fuck me” in three seconds. Even mom, played here by Kendra Secrets, is a complete slut. She gives up her ass to save her darling daughter from a horny player. The sex scenes in this movie are fine. They are nicely shot with decent energy. More Audrey would be good. I also think that putting the veggie scene as the finale is a big mistake. It just kind of messes with the flow of the action. They have enough here to give it another shot if they can keep the cast together. Audrey is a very hot Kim. (In fact, Kim should watch Audrey and then shoot a sequel to Kim Kardashian Superstar without her talentless moron of a boyfriend.)

Kendra Secrets & Derrick Pierce

Upset that her daughter’s boyfriend is a player, Kendra confronts him and offers him some cash to stay away. He doesn’t want money, but will take a piece of that seasoned ass. She keeps telling him how much she hates him and that just makes things hotter for both of them. Derrick helps her swallow his cock and makes sure the mom works hard to protect her darling daughter. Rolling her onto her back he drops the hammer on that pussy, nailing it so hard that she will feel it for weeks. He finally gets a shot at that ass and keeps right on banging away while he grabs her throat. This is a well shot scene with intense anal pounding. I think she still hates him, but isn’t about to ask him to stop once he gets started. She may hate him, but she ends up wearing his big load all over her face.

Mikayla & Talon

Big sister may not be as famous, but she is just as nasty. Mikayla likes the way Talon works her out and soon has his hands working their way to her naughty parts. He pulls his cock out and lets her gag herself on it. Her banging body is nicely displayed as she continues to polish his knob like she’s falling in love. Her pussy is all wet by the time she is done sucking that cock so it slides right on in. She slams her body down on his lap until their flesh slaps together loudly. Sucking her juices from his dick, she bends over and invites him to take her hard from behind. Mikayla really shows great energy and seems to be having a good time. When her personal trainer has given her all he’s got, he empties his sack on her sweaty skin.

Audrey Bitoni & Jack Venice

Star fucker that she is, the main Karassian gets busy with Jack. With barely a work she fills her mouth with his cock and sucks it like she’s never tasted anything so wonderful. Audrey is super easy on the eyes, but she also puts forth great effort in this scene. I really love the blowjob here and only wish it could have lasted a bit longer. Jack wants to get up in that pussy and he slams away like he’s serious about it. Audrey takes every inch and then gets on top of Jack to show him just how much she wants to feel it. There are some great shots with her legs pushed up over her head as he fucks away. We also get ass shots during cowgirl, but by the time she is in RC, Audrey is fucking in a way that all those silly reality-TV skanks could never dream of. You can see where Audrey somewhat resembles Kim, but luckily for us, she doesn’t have that same dead fucking style. Best of all, she takes a nice load on her face. That’s the kind of naughtiness we want from our celebri-Sluts.

Starla Sterling & Van Damage

The new nanny is a hotty and she’s a slut. What a bonus for Van. She senses a hard cock in the room and goes right after it. He stands up and uses her ears as handles so that his cock can reach the back of her throat. That kind of takes away from her cock sucking skills, but some of you will dig it. He bends her over and starts fucking her from behind. This scene had great promise, but I’m afraid the nanny fucks more like a bored starlet and that brings things down quickly. She rolls over and rubs her clit while he fucks her. As the energy picks up, she gets into reverse cowgirl. This isn’t a very figure flattering position for Starla. She has a big scar on her boob and is just soft enough around the middle to make it an issue as she bounces. Van ends up shooting his load all over one of those scars and that’s just not a good thing.

Audrey Bitoni, Eva Angelina & Nikki Benz

The grand finale of this movie is a three-way veg fest between our star and two of her sexy girlfriends. Nikki and Eva get Audrey out of her clothes quickly and treat her like a queen. In return she straps on a fake dick and shows her friends what it feels like to be fucked by a Kardassian. There is some very hot strap on sex here. Eva is quite a good match for Audrey and Nikki becomes the blonde meat in a hot sandwich. She also practices her cock sucking skills with Audrey on a big dong I think it’s a horrible idea to end a movie like this with a lesbian scene, but the action is good enough to stick around for.

Bonus: Gallery, BTS, Cumshots.