Pirates 2: Stagnetti’s Revenge
Pirates 2: Stagnetti’s RevengeMOVIE TYPE: Vignette
137 Mins.
Digital Playground
www.DigitalPlayground.com
THEMES: Story, Pirates
CONDOMS: None Noted
2008
4/08
STARS: Jesse Jane, Shay Jordan, Belladonna, Evan Stone, Sasha Grey, Jenna Haze, Stoya, Abbey Brooks, Tommy Gunn, Steven St. Croix, Ben English, Veronica Rayne, Katsuni, Manuel Ferrara, Marco Banderas, Mick Blue, Rhylee Richards, Riley Steele, Gabriella Fox, Brea Lynn, Brianna Love, Charles Dera, James Deen, Shawna Lenee, Shyla Stylez, Steven St. Croix, David Aaron Clark, Frank Bukkwyd
REVIEW-
Where does one start on a review of what is arguably the most highly-anticipated adult film of all time? How about with the simple truth that Pirates 2 is a very, very good adult movie. In terms of scope and story it is far grander than the original. The special effects once again set the standard for adult films. The characters we are familiar with are back and better than ever. Some new ones join the crew and add a little excitement. Evan Stone is back playing Captain Edward Reynolds, the greatest pirate hunter who ever lived. (And he will tell us that more than once.) He plays the part with just enough humor to keep up coming back for more. Jesse Jane is back as Jules Steele, the sexiest first mate in nautical history. Her sex scenes feature the sort of sexual onslaught we have grown accustomed to. Tommy Gunn is back as Victor Stagnetti and some time in hell has done nothing to improve the bloodthirsty pirate’s outlook on life. Belladonna and Sasha Grey have joined the fight, replacing Janine and providing strong women to match Jesse‘s energy. Katsuni is aboard as an evil pirate with more dialog and sword fighting than sex. Jenna Haze pops in a slave girl who gives the best scene of the movie (short and long version) thanks in part to her dirty mouth and tight ass. Shay Jordan has perhaps the strangest role in movie. As chief gunner Woo’s Chinese sister, Shay speaks with a thick comical accent and utters phrase like “I your baby Panda I cling.” When she isn’t walking around in perhaps the un-sexiest outfit in the history of porn and delivering the movie’s most memorable lines Shay is turning in some of the best scenes of the movie. Her first three way with two guys is smoking hot. (Watch the full version on disc 2) and she pops up later to match energy with Jesse. Pirates 2 has a lot to live up to and for the most part it meets or surpasses those lofty expectations. It is hands down, the best adult feature of 2008.
That’s the good stuff, but there is a major criticism I must get out of the way. The sex scenes in this movie are painfully short. I know that it’s a feature, but a sex scene that lasts only three minutes is just shocking. There are some hot scenes here with some very high energy performers. Jesse Jane hooking up with Belladonna? Anal from Jenna Haze? Shay Jordan‘s first scene with two guys? Belladonna and Sasha Grey sharing a dick? Yeah, all of that is here. All of the scenes are included in complete versions on disc two. That’s a good thing and if you watch them you will see how good the scenes are. My biggest gripe about this movie is that these complete scenes aren’t included in the movie. Yes, we would be looking at a movie that runs close to four hours, but with those full length scenes Pirates 2 might well be hotter sexually than the original. That just my take on a great movie that leaves a lot of sexual heat on the cutting room floor.
Shay Jordan, Mick Blue & James Deen
Shay Jordan is new to the crew and very friendly and gives special “massages” to relieve weary bones after a long day. As an example we get to watch Mick and James fuck her silly. The scene has great energy, but feels like a series of great shots strung together with huge gaps. (This is going to be a recurring theme with the sex scenes. Keep in mind, extended scenes are available on disc two.) We jump from shot to shot as Shay takes both hard cocks at once. It is clear that they are working up a big sweat, but the whole thing is over in about three minutes with both cocks exploding her beautiful face. I can’t wait to see the extended version of this one.
Riley Steele, Shawna Lenee & Ben English
Ben plays Governor Littleton perfectly. His later dialog is fantastic and during the sex scene he engages in a little pirate role play with the two lovely blondes. He’s an evil pirates looking for the Governor’s treasure and the girls are the helpless daughters who can do nothing but give up their virtue to the invader. Things move so quickly that it would be tough for anyone to keep up. I believe this is Riley’s debut and she has to share the spotlight with Shawna who is pretty hot in her own right. In a matter of three minutes the whole scene is over and the girls are sharing a big facial cumshot. (And again I’ll be popping in the extended version to see more of Riley.)
If they want to save Serena from execution, our pirate hunters must track down the blue pearl and bring it back to his majesty. The dialog is great with just enough humor to make it all flow.
Two strong female personalities on one ship didn’t work without sexual outlet in the first movie and it ain’t gonna fly in the sequel. Bella and Jesse facing off is as inevitable as the tides and just as powerful. Don’t blink or you might miss something great. Jesse actually gets two fingers shoved up her ass by Bella (Could a full anal scene be in the works for Jesse finally?) Bella demands to be smacked harder and the way the scene is cut it looks as much like a wrestling match as a sex scene. The highlights are incredible, but you just know that there is so much more waiting for us.
Wandering into rough territory the pirate hunters are separated. Edward takes part in a slave auction that features Jenna Haze as the prize wench and a very impressive performance by David Aaron Clark as a rival bidder. Jules finds the pirate empress, but is quickly subdued.
Orgy
Before he can enjoy his new slave Edward is taken to the golden palace where he watches a bunch of people getting it on. Those of you who were anxious to see Stoya or Shyla Stylez in this flick will want to see what you can grab visually from this big group grope. The action is over pretty quickly and ends with a serious of facial popshots.
Shay Jordan & Steven St. Croix
Still nursing his wounds over what he did in the first movie (As you may recall he set Jules up to be burned alive) Steven is looking to forget his troubles. What better way than with Shay? He fucks her pretty hard and even slaps her tits during a scene that is so fucking short that it’s almost maddening. Apparently it was good because she immediately demands to marry him.
Jenna Haze & Evan Stone
Winning the auction means that Evan gets to fuck the hell out of his pretty slave. She has the whole “master” thing down and goes right to work on his cock. This scene feels a little longer and we get to see her suck dick more than once. In between positions Jenna uses her mouth to perfection. There is anal here, but I swear it’s about fifteen seconds worth. Jenna talks him through a big pop on her belly. This is the best scene of the movie, but still leaves a lot on the cutting room floor.
Taken to the pit to battle a giant monster, Edward needs help getting out. There are some serious CGI tricks here and a good action sequence. We also get our first glimpse at Sasha Grey who has joined the hunt for Stagnetti.
Brianna Love, Rhylee Richards and Evan Stone
Edward wows these eager girls with tails of his heroism. They share his cock and a quick kiss before we cut to rapid fire shots of the girls riding his dick. I know that we have been over the sexual issues in this movie, but I honestly don’t get the editing here. It feels like a montage of shots too short to really be enjoyed.
Jesse Jane, Katsuni & Tommy Gunn
Returning from the dead has left Stagnetti horny and he wants a shot at one of the women who helped send him to hell. Still under Katsuni’s control Jess makes quite a sexy slave. She inhales his cock and then comes out of her zombified state to scream through a hot fuck. Katsuni does anal here, but the scene is over even before it can begin. The cum swapping kiss is hot and nasty, but we will have to wait for disc two for the good stuff.
The battle at sea features some great creatures, CGI and things that blow up. What more could you want? Sword fighting of course. We get plenty of that Bella squares off with Katsuni and with Jesse before the big climax between Edward and Stagnetti. Great action sequences here to be sure.
Jesse Jane, Shay Jordan & Steven St. Croix
A happy little three-way is a great way to celebrate victory. How understanding is Shay? She is fine letting her man fuck anyone and will even join in. These two superstars quickly compete for the cock and that means we get to watch two of the very best do their stuff. Any time Jess and Shay share the screen they seem to be trying to out fuck one another and the result is always fantastic. He can barely keep up but does manage to spray Jesse down with a strong shot at the end.
Belladonna, Sasha Grey & Evan Stone
See, three ways are great celebratory tools. Bella and her new friend are happy to reward Edward for a job well done. They also want to delay a return to Kingston in order to rescue Sasha’s sister. (Pirates 3 anyone?) Bella pulls out her deep throat skills and makes every inch of cock disappear. Sasha is no slouch either and proves it by taking nearly as much. Bella offers up her ass and the girls jerk him off together for a big finish.
Bonus: On disc one, there is a running audio commentary with the cast and crew of the movie. Once you have seen the flick, the commentary is actually pretty interesting.
Disc 2: Extended Sex Scenes:
Here we go. This is the really good stuff. Instead of 3-5 minutes we get 13-20 minutes of hot sex. Shay Jordan gets a chance to really expand her scene with James and Mick. Watch them work her intro a frenzy. The Jesse/Bella scene is so much hotter that you really shouldn’t miss it. Jenna Haze still turns in the best scene of the movie with some really good anal added to the mix. Jesse and Shay together at the end of the movie is also worth a second or third look. There is also a bonus scene featuring Stoya, Katsuni and Belladonna that didn’t make the movie at all.
These are better than average feature sex scenes and I have to wonder why they were cut down. OK, we know why, but still. Wouldn’t it be better to have a movie that is four hours long with really hot sex scenes rather than two hours of a movie where we blink and miss the sex? I would love to see a future release with the full length sex scenes. I honestly think that would be one of the hottest adult features ever.
Disc 3: Behind the Scenes:
The making of Pirates 2 is a long look at every aspect of the movie. We get pre and post sex scene interviews. Shay Jordan‘s first 2 boy scene makes for some funny stuff. We also get to watch the sword training sessions and an in-depth look at how the movie was made. Very interesting stuff and worth the time for anyone interested in film making of any sort.
There is also a slideshow, featurettes covering set design, make up and other aspects of the film.
Disc 4 Bonus Material:
Wait, there’s more. Bloopers, Making of FX, Deleted Scenes (Dialog), Extended BTS, Pirates Extras (Pirates Makes History and Pirates 1 Premier Clip) and Trailers
