Not Married with Children XXX
Not Married with Children XXXMOVIE TYPE: Feature
127Mins.
X-Play/Huster
DIRECTOR: Will Ryder
THEMES: Comedy, Parody
2009
STARS: Eric Swiss, Brittany O’Connell, Kagney Linn Karter, Dane Cross, India Summer, Dino Bravo, Brad Hardy, Brooke Belle, Madison Scott, Alyssa Hall, Emy Reyes, Reno, Kora Cummings, Payton Leigh
REVIEW-
This is the latest parody from the team that is head and shoulders above all others in the genre. X-Play and Will Ryder have given us some of the hottest and funniest moments in porn over the past few years and they are back for more. This time around they take aim at Married with Children. If ever a show was made for porn parody it is this classic comedy. The raunchy humor, the sexual innuendo and Kelly Bundy bouncing her way through another slutty adventure. As usual, the story, wardrobe and sets are among the many strong suits. Setting up your classic MWC story line, Al is in trouble at work. The new salesman is just too darn good. To make matters worse he has been given the unenviable task of discussing the birds and the bees with Kelly. His meddling neighbor Marcy is in his hair and the poor guy still can’t get a good meal. (That’s pretty much MWC seasons 1-8 right there.) The performance from all of the major players are very good. Eric Swiss is just about as perfect as any porn version of Al Bundy could be. Brittany O’Connell does a great job as Peg. I only wish we could have seen her in more than one scene. Kagney Linn Karter has perhaps the key role. Kelly Bundy is the sexual gem in the MWC franchise and Kagney is a very good choice. She’s another girl who should probably be in more than just one boy/girl and the mandatory solo scene. The other players do their job quite well. So we know that this is a funny, well acted parody. How does it standup sexually? Pretty well actually. There are some hot women here and some very hot scenes. What I like is that many of the scenes fit the feel of the original show. That makes for a great parody on every level. I wanted to like this one most of all, but it still isn’t quite a dead on as Bradys or Cosby, but X-Play’s Not Married With Children XXX is still one of the very best of the genre. Award nominations should be coming to Swiss and O’Connell as well as Ryder (Though I would hate to see him up against himself for Cosbys and this one.) Now for my two small complaints. In this great MWC we get no mention of “4 touchdowns in one game” and not one mention of Isis in the whole flick? Perhaps those are being saved for the sequel.
The requisite hot girl masturbating scene kicks off the action. Kelly is getting a head start on her date by rubbing her pretty little pussy. Nothing like a sexy blonde with a serious desire to fuck herself silly to get you going. We always knew that Kelly spent just as much time masturbating as Bud. I’m just glad we get to see this instead of some rubber woman lovin’. Nice close up shots as Kagney fucks herself with a vibrator and she gives us some good dirty talk along the way. As usual this porn parody starts off with a steamy solo that has us all counting the minutes until we get to see this hottie fucking again.
In between scenes we get some very funny dialog and a brief glimpse of Kelly sucking cock on the couch. The way it works out is hilarious, but they don’t get a chance to finish things up.
India Summer & Nick Manning
At her pre-divorce party, Marcy develops the hots for the ultra cheesy stripper played by Nick Manning. Unfortunately she can’t do much talking while on her knees so that leaves us subjected to Nick’s “suck cock Marcy” line seemingly on repeat. We always knew that Marcy was a bit of a freak and the POV oral footage proves that. I wouldn’t call this a great scene, but it isn’t half bad. India looks good other than her silly wig and she shows pretty good energy that at times overshadows Nick’s ever-present overbearing style. I like the reverse cowgirl and her energy, but it isn’t always enough to overcome the major obstacle. The facial shot at the end is pretty great though.
Emy Reyes, Brooke Belle, Alyssa Hall & Dane Cross
Al gets his hands on some passes to a spa that Bud steals. He is surrounded by beautiful women and drifts off into a hot fantasy where they cater to his every sexual desire. Brooke takes his cock in her mouth while the other two girls with one another. It looked like this might be a three on one, but Brooke keeps the cock to herself, pounding her pussy down on him while Emy masturbates nearby. Alyssa is there also but we basically watch Bud fuck blonde Brooke in a chair while the other girls are afterthoughts. There are some great shots of Brooke bent over taking it from behind and then a big facial popshot to close out the action. I like this chick, but the other two cuties were a bit of a distraction.
Madison Scott & Brad Hardy
Al finally finds out the secret to the new salesman’s success. He has some special mints that drive women crazy. Demonstrating on pretty young Madison Brad shows that the little things work like a charm. Al watches as Madison sheds her panties and lets the salesman lick her creamy young pussy. She is super horny and attacks his cock with both hands and her mouth during some really hot POV BJ footage. Great energy as she rides in reverse cowgirl. Those nice tits bounce and her tight shaved teen hole looks ready to fuck any guy who comes along. They fuck hard on the floor and he shoots his big load all over her pretty face.
Brittany O’Connell & Eric Swiss
Al steals some of the mints and decides to give it a try with Peg. I don’t know if it is the mint or the prospect of getting his rival fired, but Al is up to the challenge when his redheaded cock monster finds her way down to his rod. Peg loves the cock and puts her pussy right down on his face. Sexual energy is the biggest reason why Brittany is perfect to play Peg She is always good for a hot scene even before they fuck this one is already a standout. She looks right into the camera for some great POV head that makes you wonder why they don’t do it every night. Climbing up on top she squat fucks him with that sweet red snapper. The energy picks up along with the dirty talk until she shoots all over her tits, missing her wide open mouth almost completely. Al and Peg fuck and it’s a pretty hot event thanks to Brittany.
Kagney Linn Karter & Reno
Setting up the hotshot salesman really isn’t all that tough. Al just uses Kelly as bait and catches him red handed. All wound up, the ditzy blonde teen ends up at home with a dude in an orange jumpsuit. (On the same day that five convicts escaped.) We all want to see Kelly fuck and here is our chance. She spreads nicely and lets the escaped con sample a sweet young slit for the first time in a while. Kagney throws her legs back and grabs the bottom of her shoes to make sure there is nothing in the way as Reno tongue fucks her dirty little box. She sucks cock like a woman who has done this a few times and is capable of making it look like she loves every inch. Mounting up she starts screaming as she bounces on his dick. It’s comical at first, but once she gets into a rhythm Kagney just about destroys this guy. Great looking reverse cowgirl and the dirty talk never stops. It is her filthy mouth that really seems to steal the show as she takes it hard from behind. The POV shots of her ass feature a big pink zit right in the way, but everything else is pretty much flawless. Kelly truly is a slut who will beg for cum on her pretty face and swallows down most of what is given to her. I’ve been dying to see Kelly Bundy fuck for years and this definitely lives up the anticipation.
Bonus: As usual, there are tons of bonus features here. 4 BTS reels, bloopers, travelogue, Trailers, Slide Show and a replay of the DVD intro.
