TMSleaze
TMSleazeMOVIE TYPE: Feature
155 Mins.
3rd Degree
DIRECTOR: Mike Quasar
THEMES: Celebrities, Comedy
2009
STARS: Tori Black, Francesca Le, Faye Reagan, Kagney Linn Karter, Andi Anderson, Ann Marie Rios, Brynn Tyler, Darryl Hanah, Lisa Ann, Ron Jeremy, James Deen, Mark Wood, Randy Spears
REVIEW-
I suppose this should be put in the same category as other porn parodies. It’s basically a parody of the show TMZ. For those of you lucky enough to have missed this show it basically consists of a bunch of leeches sitting around in a room pitching pointless video clips of celebrities and pseudo-celebrities doing stupid stuff. With Harvey Levin leading the idiot’s parade they giggle like schoolchildren at every embarrassing moment and prance about like drunken frat boys doing their best to house celebs into saying or doing something stupid. Basically the show proves that one well tossed hand grenade into the right room full of assholes might really make the world a better place. (Relax, that was a joke…or was it?) OK rant over. Back to the movie at hand. This is a very funny celebrity parody with some healthy jabs that the celebs and the scumbag paparazzi who fancy themselves as stars themselves. Britney, American Idol, Mel Gibson and many others get the full treatment. The girls are hot, the sex is hot and even a bit funny. There are a number of hot scenes here. Andi Anderson as Britney is the biggest highlight. Her DP action is super hot. Faye Reagan is white hot in her three way. This babe looks amazing and shows great intensity. Tori Black and Francesca Le show us what goes on behind the scenes at a talent show. Kagney Linn Karter, Ann Marie Rios and Darryl Hanah prove that porn stars can act like fucked up celebrities and still be super hot. Give Quasarman a lot of credit for a funny movie that is really sexy. If you enjoy watching celebrities run through the parody wringer then you will love this.
Francesca Le, Tori Black, Ben English & Anthony Rosano
What happens when Paula gets too horny on the set of American Idol? Who knows, but in this parody Slimin orders Ryan to take care of things. Rosano plays Ryan pretty well and Ben English is perfect. Right in the middle of the fun, the bitchy new judge (Tori) barges in and demands to know why Simon makes more money than she does. Ryan is OK banging this one and leaves Paula (Francesca Le) to get her mouth around some English meat. I’m not sure how much Francesca looks like Paula, but who cares? She sucks Ben’s big like it’s made of candy and is the perfect compliment to Tori as the four-way action kicks into high gear. Tori gets slammed hard from behind and definitely keeps up with Francesca in the energy department. Everyone stays close enough together during this scene to make it easy to watch both women. That makes it flow well, but what really makes it work is the women. Francesca works up a serious sweat as she gets pounded by Ben’s big cock. Tori does what she always does, makes us glad she chose porn by giving another awesome performance. They finish out with a big shot onto Francesca‘s face and with Tori holing her mouth open to eat a load.
Faye Regan, Mr. Pete & Dane Cross
Fun in the music world as Lindsay goes after Eminem (Feminem actually) looking for drugs, a cell phone and perhaps cock. It’s hard to figure out exactly what her issue is, but she decides that the “girlfriend” just isn’t giving her what she needs. Dane invites himself to the party and sexy little Faye goes after both cocks with a vengeance. Faye really seems to be getting hotter in her boy/girl scenes lately. She’s perfect for Lindsay because of her coloring and because we all want to imagine that that little train wreck would fuck and suck like this. They nail her hard on the control panel and those perfect tits look too good to believe. Pete really pounds her and she responds with plenty of energy of her own. If you’re a Faye fan then you are going to love this even if you don’t care that she’s playing LiLo. There are some fantastic shots of Faye getting plowed while Pete has her legs up next to her ears in a Full Nelson. They finish out with two shots right in her mouth. Faye helps the second one and it explodes all over her tongue. Hot scene on every level.
Kagney Linn Karter & Chris Johnson
Cowboy quarterback (Chris Johnson) is having trouble with his pop tart girlfriend (Kagney Linn Karter). He can’t focus on his game when he fucks her and she can’t stand not having cock. She passes the time eating fried chicken but finally won’t take no for an answer. Kagney looks cute in her Daisy Dukes and hat, but even hot hotter on her knees with balls bouncing on her chin. Hot BJ here and Kagney is the kind of girl who will scream out when she gets plowed from behind. Locker room sex with this cutie really works and she manages to leave her boots on from start to finish. Great standing doggy here and that shaved pussy seems tight as he works her on the bench for a while. The energy here is good and she wears a big load on her face. Is there a lot of celebrity appeal here? I don’t know, but Kagney is hot in any scene so it works.
Ann Marie Rios & Randy Spears
It’s the same old story, drunken movie star gets pulled over, spouts some anti-Semitic stuff and stumbles out of the car with his cock out. As it turns out, the hot cop is a fan and isn’t going to miss out on a chance at some star fucking. She drops to her knees and works his cock with her hands and mouth until it throbs and then she goes deeper. He takes her over to hear car and bends Ann Marie over. She’s now naked except for her socks and dying for some movie star meat in her tight twat. Great energy as she gets slammed balls deep against the cruiser. Thankfully he isn’t still doing much in character because there is nothing to get in the way of a very loud, very hot fuck. Ann Marie takes a big load all over her face. She can arrest me any time.
Andi Anderson, Mark Wood & Rocco Reed
Andi is dressed like Britney from way back in the day when she was rocked the braids and plaid schoolgirl skirt. She flips out on the pool guys, but relaxes by playing with her pussy using some new toys some fan sent her. The pretty pop tart is happy when the guys lend her a few helping hands and feed her some throbbing meat. Obviously Teagan would make the best Britney Spears, but Andi is one of the hottest girls in porn so turning her loose on two cocks is a guaranteed winner. She works her mouth back and forth between the cocks and lets her tits shake for the camera. They bend her over and keep her mouth full of meat. That’s just the way she wants it because it lets her taste one cock while the other rams her pussy. I love the ass shots as she rides in cowgirl, but reverse is even hotter. Andi finally asks them to fuck her in both holes and then treats us to some great DP footage. With no cock to suck she is free to talk dirty while two cock stretch her tight little holes. Great dirty talk and Andi even gets both guys to cum in her pretty mouth. This is the best scene of the movie and a perfect Britney fantasy fuck.
Brynn Tyler & James Deen
Even fake celebs get the treatment here. Those two fucking twist from The Hills…oh sorry, two of the more annoying twits from that show, get nailed here. Just point a camera at them and they are ready to make a sex tape just to get famous. They go ahead and fuck right there in the club. With people watching and taking pictures he goes down on his girl and makes her scream with his tongue. Her hole gets nice and wet so he can just slide the dick in there and really work her over. Nice little BJ before she bends over. Since there isn’t much about the actual fake celebs we are lampooning here that is appealing, the action here falls firmly on her shoulders and she does a great job. Hot spoon shots as she screams and takes every inch. This is your basic fuck and suck that works despite James’ horrible wig and the awful thought of Spencer and Heidi actually fucking on camera. She takes a big load right in her mouth and that’s always a nice way to finish up a scene.
Bonus: BTS, BTS Photo Gallery, Cumshop Loop, Photo Gallery, Trailers & Bonus scene. (Darryl Hanah as Nicolette Sheridan doing a nasty POV scene in an alley.
