Tiger’s Got Wood
Tiger’s Got WoodMOVIE TYPE: Feature
91 Mins.
Wicked
THEMES: Parody, Outdoor Sex
DIRECTOR: Cash Markman
2009
STARS: Diana Doll, India Summer, Krissy Lynn Richelle Ryan, Madelyn Marie, Jazy Berlin, Heidi Mayne, Ryder Skye, Evan Stone, Shanna McCullough, Slick Rhodes and Jonny Slim
REVIEW-
It was inevitable that porn would hop on the Tiger Woods bandwagon. One gets the idea that this movie was in production before Tiger was even out of the hospital after his car accident. There is an attempt at humor here, though it is pretty much all handled behind the news desk. Shanna McCullough and Slick Rhodes play a couple of overzealous reports who breathlessly drop bad golf puns in between sex scenes. This is actually a pretty nice script device that keeps the dialog out of the hands of main players except to set up the scenes. Most of the scenes aren’t really set up with dialog anyway. The opener features Jonny Slim and India Summer on a well manicured lawn that is supposed to be the golf course. The clothes help set the scene, but it’s pretty low impact. Krissy Lynn offers a little more energy later in the movie when she bangs Tiger in the locker room. Madelyn Marie and Jazy Berlin hook up for a rather forgettable g/g scene. Heidi Mayne and Ryder Skye make it through a somewhat sleepy three-way. The best scene of the movie doesn’t feature Tiger at all, but rather his hot wife played nicely Diana Doll. She decides to go for a little revenge fuck that really turns out hot. Overall this is a cute attempt at a Tiger Woods parody that is sometimes funny, occasionally hot, but mostly forgettable.
India Summer & Jonny Slim
The Tiger scandal is breaking and spreading rapidly thanks to some amateur video (shot with two cameras, in HD, with a jib) of the golfer and one of his favorite putting companions. The running commentary from Slick Rhodes and Shanna McCullough is nothing short of an avalanche of golf clichés. Luckily that ends about the time India gets his cock to the back of her throat. It’s a windy day and I kept wondering why I noticed that instead of the blowjob. India does a decent job sucking his dick, but it just feels a little mechanical. She opens up a bit during reverse cowgirl. The scene takes place outdoors, on a putting green, but there isn’t much else to make it stand out. He fucks her in doggy until he cums on her ass and then both of them bail out quickly.
Heidi Mayne, Ryder Skye & Jonny Slim
More women crawl out of the woodworks to add to the scandal. At least that is what we are supposed to take from this random three way scene by a pool with a waterfall. Heidi and Ryder pass the cock back and forth and then take turns riding. Both of them are easy on the eyes, but to call this scene nondescript would probably be a bit kind. It’s a night shot with some good lighting and decent energy I guess, but it has as much to do with Tiger Woods as the Tiger Woods story has to do with real news. It ends with a shared facial. This is competent porn, but that’s about it.
Madelyn Marie & Jazy Berlin
When Tiger wants some booty he just hits up a local bar, buys off the patrons and has a couple of horny waitresses put on a show for him. He brings them a couple of glass toys, but they want to do things the old fashioned way first. Like the last scene, this one has the decent dim lighting and serviceable sex, but little else. Some of the shots of the glass toys are interesting, but I was bored two minutes into this thing. The best thing but the scene is that it is over really fast.
Krissy Lynn & Jonny Slim
Tiger is a horn dog and even likes banging caddies. Krissy is a hot little blonde who watches as Tiger clears the locker room the he can show her his long game. She loves the attention and returns the favor in the form of a sloppy blowjob. When enough spit hits her tits she slides his cock between them as well. The lock room setting is nice here and Krissy has a good body. She shows a little more energy than some of the other women in this movie, making the scene a nice change from the last two. He bends her over and we get some monster close up shots as well as good full body coverage. He shoots his load all over her shaved little pussy.
Diana Doll & Evan Stone
Tiger’s wife is sick of him cheating and wants a series of cameras installed in their home. It’s an intricate system with a direct feed to the internet. That makes it silly for her to fuck the installation guy, but she is in full revenge fuck mode. Evan licks her ass for a while before sticking his dick into her on the kitchen island. I don’t know about you guys, but this seems like an awesome spot for a hot romp with a beautiful woman. Her neglected pussy is nicely groomed, wet and ready for fucking. Evan lets her ride it and the cameras are right in there close. If you’re into the revenge fuck fantasy then this has some added appeal, but the primary reason to like it is for the eye candy provided by the dirty talking blonde. She takes everything he’s got and then lets him explode all over her tits.
Richelle Ryan & Jonny Slim
Last up is up a tryst with a busty journalist. She is thankful for an interview with the star and thanks him by
jumping right onto him. Her dress is off in no time and she has his cock in her greedy little mouth. I’m thinking that this scene probably should have come before the one with Diana since she is the hottest girl in the movie. Richelle drops her big ass down on his face and nearly smothers hi before she mounts up on the dick. If big butts turn you on then this scene will rock your world. Speaking of rocking it, Tiger goes for some inverted X action to show off his athletic prowess. Interesting position, but it isn’t enough in the end to make the scene really great. It’s another decent fuck with a big-ass girl getting railed. He pulls out and creams her big tits. If this is how she pays up after an interview, then Richelle is going to get all of the big interviews.
