Crock of Love
Movie Type: Feature, Parody, Couples
125 minutes
Production Company: Kick Ass
DIRECTOR: Glen Baren
THEMES: Straight sex, lesbian sex,
CONDOMS: None
Production Date: 2009
STARS: Evan Stone, Misty Stone, Nikki Rhodes, Aiden Starr, Andy San Dimas, Victoria Lawson, Natalia Rossi, Justin Long, Mikey Butders
Reviewed by: Paul Mall
REVIEW-
Crock of Love
Brief Synopsis
Crock of Love parodies the VH1 reality show Rock of Love. This is a simple show to parody and Kick Ass didn’t have to spend much money or effort on things like scripts, wardrobes and sets. They just used a mansion like so many porns do. The girls don’t wear much clothes: just bikinis and panties. There are five scenes and six girls. Four of the scenes are boy/girl and one is a girl/girl. The sex is pretty vanilla but the girls are all pretty hot. Overall: B
Introduction
Crock of Love parodies the VH1 reality show Rock of Love. I’ve never seen Rock of Love so I can’t tell you how well it parodies it. Kick Ass studio doesn’t do many features and this might be their first entry into the popular field of parodies. This concept is pure genius. Kick Ass just needed to find a mansion to film it. Filming in mansions is standard porn valley fare so that couldn’t have been difficult. Since it’s a reality TV show they didn’t have to invest in a script, sets, or even a wardrobe. So they were able to make a parody without spending any extra money or effort.
Even though I haven’t seen Rock of Love, I could figure out the concept pretty quickly, and I thought the story was pretty funny. I also especially liked the way the actors were assigned a character and they stayed in character, even through the sex part of the scene.
Production
The sets are just the room of the house they used to film the movie. The lighting, audio, and video quality are all excellent. There really is no wardrobe. During most of the scenes the girls are just in bikinis or panties. The make up and hair is excellent, though. There is a title song that plays in the menus and at the beginning of the movie. There isn’t any other music. The menus are easy to use, but the chapters don’t have the girl’s names in them. There are plenty of chapter markers.
Story
Evan Stone is rock god Brüte Michaels. When the movie starts there are just six girls left competing. The story is broken up into 5 weeks, and each week a girl gets eliminated. The actresses all portray a different stereotype of reality TV starlets.
Of course, Brüte picks out the wrong girl at the end
Sex Scenes
Scene 1 – Misty Stone and Evan Stone
Approximately 17 minutes
Positions: ? Massaging, pussy eating, missionary, spoon, RCG, blowjob, doggie, mish, facial.
Misty is slim, small breasted, with a coffee and cream skin color, and curly brown hair. Her character is “fucking annoying”. Brüte just wants her to shut up. He starts off by massaging her but then attempts to shut her up by fucking her.
The next day she is still fucking annoying and is sent home.
Scene 2 – Nikki Rhodes and Mikey Butders
Approximately 16 minutes
Positions: Strip tease, pussy eating, blowjob, cowgirl, spoon, RCG, doggie, and facial.
Nikki is one of my favorite stars. She is a beautiful redhead with pale skin and nice sized and shaped boobs. Her character “arrived on the short bus”. Mikey is supposed to be helping her get ready for the next day’s challenge but he just seduces her. He helps her with her deep throat skills and stretching out her pussy.
The next day she screws up her challenge and gets kicked out.
Scene 3 – Aiden Starr and Justin Long
Approximately 15 minutes?
Positions: pussy licking, cock sucking, cowgirl, mish, doggie, spoon, cums on her tummy.
Aiden is a pretty, petite, blonde. She has the most perfect breasts. And they are real! She plays the “loud mouth starfucker”. She has been flirting with the drummer and is sure she is going to get kicked out the next day. She figures she might as well fuck him before she goes home. Aiden is always a real pleasure to watch but they should have shown off her knockers a little better.
The next day she gets sent home as she expected.
Scene 4 – Andy San Dimas and Victoria Lawson
Approximately 14 minutes?
Andy and Victoria are pretty new to the business, and are very pretty and slim. Andy is very tattooed with black hair. Victoria is a brunette. Andy plays the “insane lesbian” and Victoria is the “penis phobic wallflower”. Andy seduces Victoria and after some playing around eats her pussy. The girls then get into a 69. Andy brings out a strap on and fucks Victoria doggie, cowgirl, and then missionary.
Victoria gets eliminated the next day. The next week Andy is kicked off. After Andy is kicked off, Natalia is the only one left.
Scene 5 – Natalia Rossi and Evan Stone,
Approximately 10 minutes?
Positions: blowjob, pile driver, cowgirl, spoon, mish,
Natalia is a very pretty, young looking brunette. She plays the “stone cold bitch”. Evan serenades her in the backyard and then they start having sex. The sex ends with him cumming on her breasts. There had been talk about pearl necklaces so I was surprised she didn’t get one. Maybe Evan just missed. The scene ends with Natalia going on about how they are going to get married and have ten kids, as Evan and we realize he ended up with the wrong girl.
Extras
There aren’t many extras. There is a bio for each girl that is just a slide. There is a 4-minute blooper reel that is just OK. There are six trailers.
Conclusion
Kick Ass has a great concept here. They can jump on the parody bandwagon without spending much money or effort on things like scripts, wardrobes and sets. They still made up an entertaining spoof. Kick Ass didn’t skimp on the cast, though. The cast is made up of some really nice looking girls. All of these girls are very popular right now. You get your money’s worth, too, with five scenes and six girls. My only complaint is that the scenes aren’t very long.
Overall rating: B
Female looks: A
Male looks: A
Sex: B
Plot/Acting: B
Extras: C
A/V Quality: A
