This Ain’t Charmed XXX
This Ain’t Charmed XXXMOVIE TYPE: Parody
105 Mins
Hustler
DIRECTOR: Axel Bruan
THEMES: Parody, Witches
2009
STARS: Chayse Evans, Sadie West, Angelina Valentine, Chris Johnson, Alan Stafford, Marie Luv, Ryder Skye, Jenny Hendrix
REVIEW-
This is my second Alyssa Milano parody review in as many days. Unlike Who’s the Boss, Charmed featured an Alyssa old enough to drool over and drool we did. Big time. This is actually an interesting movie to parody. The three sisters, the witches, the magic, the possibilities are really good. There are interesting aspects to be sure. The story plays a lot like an episode of Charmed and that’s always nice to see. I don’t know what was most disappointing though. The cast is mediocre and the sex is unmotivated. There are some nice moments, especially in the three-way finale with Angelina Valentine and Jenny Hendrix, but they are few and far between. Both Chayse Evans and Ryder Skye are better performers than we see here. They do their best, but the scenes just aren’t motivated on interesting. Sadie doesn’t have that problem. She and Alec Knight hook up for a very hot scene. I liked the story better than the sex in this movie. How often do we say that? This is an interesting effort that is flawed and not quite hot enough to get a full recommendation.
Chayse Evans & Alan Stafford
When one of the sisters develops a crush on a young DA, she pays him a visit in his office. Chayse is hiding a tiny little outfit under her trench coat. This should have given us a nice reveal, but it just isn’t handled very well and we end up rush into the sex scene. Nothing wrong with Chayse on her knees of course. She sucks a mean cock and doesn’t need magic to make his stick rise. The quick blowjob leaves him wet and easily able to slide into her pussy. Now that Chayse doesn’t have any meat in her mouth she is free to talk dirty while getting plugged. Good dirty talk and nice shots of Chayse riding dick highlight this scene, but it’s really kind of random without much parody fantasy value. He shoots his load on her mouth and she laps it up. Like I said, nothing wrong with this scene at all. It just doesn’t offer anything special.
Marie Luv & Tyler Knight
With one sister missing the other two turn to a friend (a cop maybe) who is more interested in getting his dick sucked than helping. In his defense, he is getting it sucked by Marie Luv. After about a minute in her mouth, she moves the meat to her pussy for an equally brief ride in cowgirl. Once she gets warmed up, Marie rises up and does some powerful squatting on his dick. As usual, Marie is on fire during her scene, talking dirty and working her body to get as much dick as she can while putting on a great show. They get her up on top for some RCA that has her head rolling back as her pussy is spread open for the pink shots. She ends up eating his cum right out of his cock as it shoots onto her tongue. Adding Marie to this movie for some hot anal action was a good idea. This is another disconnected scene, but it is hot and ultimately quite strokeable.
Ryder Skye & Chris Johnson
The girls have a helping hand in the spirit world, but he has his hands full too. Ryder slips him a lust potion and he has only one thing on his mind from then on. She gives a pretty good blowjob that doesn’t end seconds after it starts. That’s a good thing. The bad thing is that these two seem to have no chemistry at all. She slipped him a lust potion, but he acts more like she gave him a Cialis and a lobotomy. Ryder does her best to keep things going and certainly looks good naked, but this just seems like a waste. It probably has the most motivation and parody fantasy appeal of the first three scenes, but the lack of energy and chemistry makes it a little boring. They finish up with her in mish begging him to cum all over her pussy. He does, and the end of the scene is much better than the early stages, but it still falls flat.
Sadie West & Alec Knight
Magic can bring friends back from the dead, at least for a while. Sadie gets the information she needs and more from Alec. Right away there is better chemistry here. They seem far more into their roles and fuck like people who have been kept apart by time, space and mortality. He bends Sadie over and pumps her for a while until she is ready to spin around and taste herself. She nearly shoves that thing out the back of her head trying to take it all in. Sadie talks dirty which is nice, but mostly she just fucks like really has missed this guy. The energy and intensity is great, but this scene also features plenty of eye candy. They don’t let up until he has fucked her silly and unloaded all over her face.
Angelina Valentine & Jenny Hendrix
The last sister to get involved ends up on the receiving end of a bad guy double team. Jenny may be bad, but she looks so good. She joins Angelina on the business end of a cock and helps turn in the best looking oral action of the movie. Good girls are fun, but bad girls clearly bring out the best in Angelina. She gets fucked by the demon dick while keeping Jenny well covered by her tongue and fingers. The lighting on this scene is just a little odd, but you can’t argue with energy. Jenny takes a good hard ride and then Angelina gets her shaved slit plowed good and hard. They both hold out their tongues and give him a good target for his load.
Bonus: Slide Show, BTS, Hustler Trailers
