Titney Spheres: The Road to Ruin
MOVIE TYPE: Vignette
221 Mins
Bluebird Films
THEMES: Celebrities, Blondes, Big Tits, Lesbian Sex, Strippers
CONDOMS: None
2010
STARS: Michelle Thorne, Stacey Saran, Cindy Behr, Gemma Massey, Anna Lovato, Ana Stevens, Eva May, Kaia Kane, Chelsea Sa, Naomi, Stephan Hard, Chelsea French, Brooke Lee, Dolly Delight, Chacha, Ashley Emma, Crystal
REVIEW-
Apparently Michelle Thorne has been doing Britney parody porn for a very long time. I looked it up and found another DVD collection from years ago. This is a newer collection and feature the busty blonde Brit as everyone’s favorite pop tartlet Titney Spheres. There is possibly a story here, but mostly is it a series of semi related scenes that follow Titney’s rise and (mostly) fall from pop culture grace. It’s a light story, but there is enough celebrity appeal to make it kind of fun. Michelle doesn’t look at all like Britney, but she looks pretty fucking hot and that is all that matters. She starts off with an all-girl (mostly) orgy on the set of her schoolgirl video. There are a lot of lesbian scenes in this long collection. Oddly enough there isn’t a Madonna/Christina/Britney three-way kiss themed scene. Bad form there guys. Instead we get to watch Titney become a drunken slag who will fuck anything and everything that moves. Nothing wrong with that of course. She has drunken sex on desks, in alleys and even in lesbian strip clubs. Joined by more than a dozen other hot UK chicks, Michelle plays her role well. I don’t know if she can really sing or dance, but she is a great fantasy fuck. If you’ve ever wanted to see Britney fuck and suck, this is a pretty good start with a ton of parody fantasy appeal. She can fuck me baby one more time, any day of the week.
Vidrap
After the infamous schoolgirl video shoot wraps, Titney and her hot female dancers unwind with unbridled lesbian sex. This thing kicks off quickly with a bunch of blonde chicks whipping out their boobs and sucking to their hearts’ content. The dancers dutifully lick Titney’s tits, treating her like the superstar she is. The schoolgirl uniforms add some fantasy appeal to the action. The women are all sexy, blonde (mostly) and curvy. Pussy licking is on the menu and once again, our star takes center stage. She spreads her legs and lets them feast on her sweet flesh. Right in the middle of this all-girl fun, a lucky cock pops up. Licking beaver is a lot of fun, but Titney loves cock too. Her dancers stay busy in the background, but pigtailed Titney bounces on a fat cock like her life depends on it. Standing doggy with the uniform on is quite the piece of eye candy. Like a perfect pop-tart, Titney gets on her knees, rubs her boobs and takes a big load all over her cute face. She cleans him up and sucks out the final few drops.
Papped
Now a big star, Titney barely has time to talk to her assistant in between requesting bubble-free champagne and complaining about “journalist bitches.†When the paparazzi catch her outside, she goes nuts, chases them off and demands that her brunette assistant drop to her knees to save her job. Not totally greedy, she quickly gets on her own knees to better enjoy her pretty employee’s big knockers. Nice boob sucking from both girls, especially if you like big tits. Our little pop star has really learned how to please another woman by now and makes sure that her fingers are put to good use. Titney’s huge knockers are ready and ready for sucking while the brunette buries her fingers into the singer’s tight clam. Eventually the two photographers watching (also hot chicks) decide to get in on the fun themselves. They watch as Titney and her friend 69 and share the taste of one another. The toy play is pretty good as well.
Tabloid
Titney has pissed off the head of the record company with her antics. He calls her into his office and chews her out. She is fresh from the set of her music video with her big tits popping out and defends herself vehemently. Crawling across the desk, she plants a kiss on him and shuts him up completely. Since she loves drinking so much, he fucks her shaved pussy with a bottle. I guess if you soak that pussy enough it will taste like vodka and it won’t matter where she’s been. Hungry for cock, the pop princess pulls out his pulsing prick and slips it between her lips. Great looking oral action here as she shows us just what we want to see. He bends her over the desk and fucks her hard and deep. Flipping over, she flops her tits out and loudly encourages him to fuck her harder. Titney loves fucking and gets on top so she can work that dick while showing off her gorgeous ass. While in spoon her shaved pussy is open for some good close up shots. I like the eye candy here and her over the top energy fits in with a princess on a rampage character. She takes a load on her face to cap off another winning scene.
Bopped Off
Britney stumbles into a bathroom stall in a tight bikini top. She is sloppy drunk and totally horny. She leans back, takes off her shorts and shoves her bottle right into her starving slit. Ramming it way in there, she really keeps her juices flowing. When a cock slips through a hole in the wall, she keeps one hand busy on her pussy and shoves it into her mouth. Great glory hole BJ action here, especially since she keeps fingering her hot hole while she sucks off a stranger. That cock is ready for her pussy so she bends over and pushes her way back on the unseen shaft. She is very enthusiastic about the fucking and looks great pushing her ass back to take it. Back into her mouth it goes for a few strokes before it explodes and fills her mouth with sticky cream. This is great for fantasy play appeal.
Shave
Now that Titney is totally nuts, she goes to the salon for a new look. She wants it “all taken off†but not from her head. That’s right, she wants to have a totally clean pussy and the stylist gets busy on that. A little rubbing, a little shaving and Titney is ready to play with her new friend. The other women in the salon are already shaved and just as horny as can be. We get a chance to watch some pretty, smooth pussies getting licked totally raw. The toy play is good, but the best parts about this scene have to do with the big tits that are on display.
Pay Bar
When Titney needs to blow off steam, she visits a strip bar and plays the celebrity card. She brings her dude, but is more interested in the dancers. Since it’s a “lesbian†strip bar, things progress quickly. The big assed blonde dances for Titney who is slurring badly and ready get more than a dance. Once the famous customer breaks the rules about touching, all bets are off. The stripper climbs between Titney’s legs and works over her celebrity twat. Eventually the lesbian action spills over and Titney’s dude gets in on the fun. I guess girls can only take our little pop tart so far and now she just needs a hard dick in her mouth. He rolls Titney over and fucks her hard enough for her big tits to shake. The dancers watch as their famous guest breaks the rules in a big way. She gets fucked and then takes his load all over her face and tits.
Therapy
Titney has been hospitalized and just can’t keep her hands off of her horny pussy. The nurse comes in and catches her masturbating. She threatens to sedate the young pop star, but instead gets the needle. Now helpless, the pretty nurse gets attacked by Titney. The drugged angle is kind of hot, but she snaps out of that fast and enjoys playing with her superstar client. Titney licks and fingers the nurse’s meaty pussy, flicking her tongue over the clit and getting the juices flowing. Returning the favor, the pretty nurse licks that famous slit like it’s made of candy. This is a hot little one on one scene featuring two sexy blondes doing what we all hope sexy blondes do when they are alone. They break out a nice thick toy, suck it for a bit and then Brit helps it find a home in her nurse’s slutty hole. Quite the finish to this chapter of Titney’s crazy life.
Bonus: Trailers, Music Video
