THE PIPELINE: OCTOBER 2002
I really don’t think that there is a better month for porn that October. No, not because this is when movies must be submitted to AVN for Award consideration. No, not because the 17th of this month marks my own 35th birthday. I think that October is the perfect month for porn because it’s the same month as Halloween and what says porn more than dressing up and getting to be someone else for a short while. In honor of the porn/Halloween connection, I’ve come up with a few standard (or even clichéd) costumes that porn fans all know and love.
I already pimped my own birthday, but October is a big month for actual porn star birthdays. Also celebrating birthdays this month are Layla Jade (1st), Juli Aston (5th), Tiffany Mynx (17th), Jasmin St Clair (23rd) and of course Serenity (29th). Happy birthday to these lovely ladies and to all the rest of the October birthday boys/girls. As always, I am accepting any gifts anyone wants to send my way, especially sexual favors from any of the above listed women. (Or any others for that matter.)
COSTUME #1- Naughty Nurse. Entire movies have been devoted to women in starched white uniforms and those cute little hats. John Leslie’s Nightshift Nurses was very hot, but my favorite was Butt Banged Naughty Nurses from Anabolic. These women can give me a sponge bath any time.
The other great thing about October is baseball. For a while there, it looked like the Union and the owners were going to do their best to cost us another World Series, but in the end, cooler heads prevailed and there will be hard ball into the fall. It’s too early to tell, but the road to the Series seems to travel once again through New York and Atlanta. Oakland, Arizona and St. Louis will be gunning again for the top spot with surprise entries Minnesota and Anaheim keeping things interesting. Here’s to another great, seven game thriller.
COSTUME #2- Cheerleader. Perhaps the most universally appealing sexual image known to man. A girl in a short skirt, tight sweater who jumps around and screams every time a sweaty guy does something great. What could be better? Oh and did I mention the whole ‘splits’ thing? There have been countless cheerleader movies and many great scenes with such costumes. For my money, Cheerleader Academy is the best all cheer vid, but Debbie Does Dallas, Lesbian Cheerleader Squad and Team Spirit are also excellent examples of cheerotica.
Contracts in porn a pretty common these days and it’s not just video performances that earn top performers deals these days. Beautiful Lacey recently signed a double deal that is being called “unprecedented.” Video Team and California Exotic Novelties have teamed up to sign the gorgeous 21 year old to a video/toy deal. “I’m thrilled to have Lacey back as a Video Team exclusive,” exclaimed Video Team’s Christian Mann. “She is beautiful to look at, a great performer and a huge fan favorite. She is one of the prettiest women the industry has seen. I’m also happy to partner with California Exotic Novelties. I have nothing but respect for Susan Colvin (California Exotic Novelties, President) as a person and in business. We plan to work together to maximize the marketing potential and introduce some great products for Lacey’s fans.”
COSTUME #3- Bride. There is just something about a woman in white lace and silk. Maybe it’s the romantic notion of sharing martial bliss with the woman you love, or maybe it’s the idea of spoiling someone else’s virginal treasure. Either way, a nice wedding dress can make for some hot porn. It certainly made for a hot bang in Gang Bang Girl 6.
Thomas Zupko has been flying below the radar lately, but anyone who knows the controversial director knew that he wouldn’t stay quiet for long. Zupo’s latest effort, “Ass Alien” is due on shelves any day now. To even being to understand the incredible weirdness of this latest flick, one has to imagine an old B-Sci-Fi flick, throw into a blender with hard-core porn and then sliced up into neat little portions of prosthetic penises, intergalactic mating rituals and 30 pound alien masks. Perhaps it’s better explained by Zupko himself who said of the movie’s title character. “He’s totally in love with 1990’s porn, Max Hardcore, Thomas Zupko and all that shit. On his planet, he’s still in the larva stage which is why he looks this way. If you see Veronica Caine, all painted red, that’s the adult stage. He has to cum with one of his own species to become an adult. Since he’s only interested in earth girls, he gets a time machine and changes the course of earth’s history by blasting women with his ass gun. If he doesn’t spill his seed with his own kind by a certain date, he is a larva forever so his mother sends an intergalactic bounty hunter, Veronica Caine, to get him. She is always one step behind him and his misadventures are altering history.” Then again, maybe you just have to see it to believe it.
COSTUME #4- Cop. Give a woman a gun, a badge and those really cool sunglasses and something magical is bound to happen. Porn is careful about lawwoman themes, but The Violation of Kate Frost certainly went all out. For a more sensitive lady-cop story, Wicked’s Partners Forever has the beautiful Temptress as a babe in blue.
Since ending her long standing relationship with Wicked a few months back, Serenity has been quite tight lipped about what she might do next. The “Beautiful One” (TM Rog) ended speculation this month by signing a multi-picture deal with the newly formed Hollywood Video. The deal re-unites Serenity with Hollywood Video’s new owner Bambi Hall. Hall was the long time Vice President of Sales for Wicked Pictures. As the only actress to every win AVN’s Best Actress award in two consecutive years, Serenity is a huge sign and a step in the right direction as Hollywood strives to produce high quality erotic films. Hollywood Video President Bambi Hall comments, “We are all extremely happy to have Serenity on board. She is one of the best actresses ever in adult video and her videos are consistent best sellers. She is also one of the hardest working talents in the business. She is well respected in the adult arena from fans to industry insiders.” Serenity adds, “I look forward to working with Bambi again. I had some great offers from some great companies after my break with Wicked. When Bambi acquired Hollywood Video, I knew that’s where I would end up. Bambi was my best friend at Wicked and I look forward to doing great things together.” Personally I look forward to seeing Serenity on camera again, visiting some sets and consulting with her on some great script ideas, late at night, over some wine, maybe?
COSTUME #5- School Girl Uniform. It’s hard to beat this time tested classic. The universal sexual appeal reaches far beyond porn into pop music, TV and films. There are countless schoolgirl uniform videos on the adult market, but perhaps none as famous, or infamous as those shot by super perv Max Hardcore.
A lot of you have been following the stories out of Tampa from last week about the fight between the LVNI Girls and the Digital Playground Girls. So far, Tera and Devon have not issued any official statements nor have they sent out any press releases on the incident. Both Serenity and Jewel De’Nyle had stories up on their web sites and I’ve read a number of other reports from people who were there. From what I can gather, there was some dispute about signing space at tables, some words were exchanged and Devon allegedly pulled Serenity by the hair. Jewel’s account had some very unflattering words for Tera’s attitude. Since that time many of you have written in asking me what I think of the whole thing. Look, porn girls have egos. This isn’t news. The ones I am friendly with, the ones who can’t stand me and the ones who have never heard of me, all have egos. Some are huge and make you want to just shake your head and walk away. Others are quite gracious and humble, but in the end, this is an ego driven business and it’s cut throat. That said, do I believe the incident could have happened? Sure I do. How it happened? Well I wasn’t there so all I can do is go on past experiences and the accounts I’ve read. Of the four main characters in this drama (Serenity, Tera Patrick, Devon and Jewel) I only know one of them well. Another has been quite good to me professionally and the other two have never so much as spoken to me. Serenity has always been very good to me, professionally and personally. She is the one who got me on the screener list at Wicked and have never been anything but gracious and generous with her time. If she has a runaway ego, I’ve certainly never seen it. Tera has also been quite generous with her time. She agreed to an interview, signed a tank top for last year’s charity auction and certainly has never “big timed” me. Devon and Jewel haven’t said word one to me between them and they seem to be the primary characters in this tale. Did Devon really grab Serenity by the hair? I’ll leave that to other people to report. Does she have a runaway ego? How would I know. Requests to interview her through various (Pre-Digital Playground) companies went unanswered. Jewel has also turned down requests through PR people (Or maybe they did it for her.) over the years. Some of the things Jewel said were a little harsh. Like it or not, Tera is a star and I know there is a lot of jealousy towards her. I’m not saying that Jewel is motivated by jealousy, I’m just commenting on how her anti-Tera rant sounded to a lot of people.
Now, my solution to the whole thing is simple. We need a wrestling ring, some oil, 4 Rog Rules tank tops and the four women. I will volunteer to referee this four way oil wrestling match and the winner will be the one who….oh come on, I’ll be the winner. Short of that I think I’ll take the side of whichever of these ladies offers me a blowjob. (And comes through.) Ladies, the clock is ticking.
On that note, I think I’ll pack up my keyboard, grab a cold one and enjoy one of the last hot days of the year. That’s right, autumn is closing in around here and that means those long, cold sixty degree nights in SoCal. I know you’re all concerned about me, but I’ll do my best to survive. Until next month my friends, make sure that any tricks you bring home give you plenty of treats.
