Halloween: XXX Porn Parody
MOVIE TYPE: Parody
127 Mins.
Smash Pictures
DIRECTOR: Jim Powers
THEMES: Parody, Horror
CONDOMS: None
2011
STARS: Andy San Dimas, Lily Labeau, Raven Alexis, Britney Amber, Lexi Belle, Marcus London, Seth Gamble, Bill Bailey, Jessy Jones, Cris Strokes
REVIEW-
I already love this movie and I haven’t even put it into the DVD player yet. Why? Because the cover takes care to note that this parody is based on the original “Halloween.” Anything that goes out of its way to distance itself from the cinematic abortion that is Rob Zombie’s vile hack job on this classic is a winner in my book. Jim Powers has done a nice job of recreating the look and feel of the John Carpenter original. Of course the sex is no longer implied and it’s played more for stroke than scare value. Don’t get me wrong. There are some bloody scenes here. Some of them are great and others look a little cheesy. It’s tough to shoot a low budget porn with the same creepy lighting as Carpenter used. That also plays hell on the genital penetration shots, but that wasn’t a problem Hollywood had to deal with. Lily Labeau plays Laurie, the stalked babysitter. She handles her dialog well, builds up our desire to see her naked and then delivers in her sex scene in a big way. That scene is white hot and features the sexy little thing taking a huge cock from our killer. Forget for a moment that in the original the characters are brother and sister and just enjoy how hot Lily is. She is hardly the only hot girl in the movie however. They have done a great job of surrounding Lily with other hot performers. Raven Alexis stats the movie off the right way. She plays Michael’s big sister and sluts it up big time. Lexi Belle gets to have a great sex scene and play the fun PJ Soles role. Great casting there. Andy San Dimas is great as always. She has some fun dialog, but really shines in her sex scene. Adding Andy and Lexi to the cast assures that the sex is hot and that’s what we’re here for. Great casting, a solid script and a worthy tribute to this horror classic make it a really good parody. Lily, Lexi, Raven and Andy makes sure that it is also highly strokeable porn.
Raven Alexis & Seth Gamble
Our movie begins, as horror films so often do, with a big of teenage foolishness and someone watching through a window. With young Michael watching naughty big sister Raven Alexis is too busy fucking her boyfriend to care about anything. Her guy slides between her legs and starts licking pussy. As usual, Alexis is very vocal and loves having his fingers inside of her. Her legs are already in position to let him fuck her tight slit so she just takes it for a while, showing off her hot little body. Rolling her over, the guy slams into her pussy from behind and even plays with her asshole while she holds her cheeks open for him. For pure eye candy it is hard to beat the reverse cowgirl with her long legs spread wide. Nice deep strokes come when he puts her back onto into mish and just pummels the pussy. He pulls out just in time to shoot a big load all over her face. If only this were the last bodily fluid to be spilled on this grisly night. Nice recreation of the opening murder sequence by the way. It’s a little bloody for a porn, but very well done.
Britney Amber & Marcus London
Marcus London gets to play Dr. Loomis (One of the great characters in horror film, IMHO). He is trying to warn busty blonde nurse Britney Amber about the dangers of transporting a now fully grown Michael. She half listens, but is far more interested in his cock. They make good use of the front seat, exchanging oral sex with Britney delivering a nice looking BJ. (Though she could open her eyes a bit.) It’s probably a good thing they are using a care with such a big back seat to transport Michael because it makes it pretty easy to get around. He moves her onto the seat and fucks her pussy, pushing one stocking covered leg up to her chest to really get in there. Good hard strokes here. Who know that Dr. Loomis had this in him? When she swings around to face him, Britney shows off her big ass as she slams down on his cock. He lets her ride for a while and then unloads on her mouth just in time for the killing to continue.
Andy San Dimas & Bill Bailey
While Laurie (Lily Labeau) has plans to babysit on Halloween, her friends Annie (Andy San Dimas) and Bill Bailey just want to get naked. They try to get the straight laced blonde to play with them, but she leaves just as Andy starts sucking dick. They are unaware that Michael is watching from outside as they strip and fuck. Bill pulls off Andy’s panties and stuffs them in her mouth while he puts his tongue to good use on her clit and tender asshole. Nice shots of Andy with her legs up in the air while she enjoys the intense finger play. Returning the favor, she wraps her hands around his dick. As always, she focuses great energy on giving a fantastic blowjob. Billy takes over for a bit, gently fucking her face before licking her ass one more time and finally shoving his dick into her from behind. Doggy is great, but the best action comes when Andy mounts up and works her hips so that her pussy swallows his meat. She looks fantastic and doesn’t leave anything on the table here. Bill rolls her over and keeps fucking as Andy stares into his eyes and encourages him to fuck her harder. He pulls out and shoots all over her pretty pussy. Andy’s death scene isn’t as good as the first one and the blood actually makes it worse. A shadowy kill would have worked better, but hey, I’m a purist.
Lexi Belle & Jessy Jones
Cute as ever Lexi Belle plays the PJ Soles role. (I saw a special screen of Halloween a few years back with PJ there as a speaker, so cool.) She doesn’t even let Jessy get out of his pants before she starts fishing out his cock and hungrily sucking on it. She stares at him and jerks his dick with her hands like she wants him to explode before they even fuck. After eating that little pussy, he shoves her legs back and fucks her so hard that her firm little tits are dancing like crazy. Always a ball of energy, Lexi rides hard in reverse cowgirl and puts on an outstanding show for the cameras. She ends up nearly stealing the show with such a hot fuck (On top of Andy’s blistering go round) and gets a big load fired all over her flat tummy and furry box.
Lily Labeau & Cris Strokes
Laurie tries to find her friend and ends up face to face with Michael. OK not face to face. He’s under a sheet. (Classic XXX twist on the original.) She wants to see his cock and rubs her pussy while teasing him. It’s just too good to pass up and she climbs over to get her mouth on it. Hot looking BJ here and she even rams it to the back of her throat. Taking off her clothes, she mounts the totally covered Boogeyman and rides his big hard prick. Lily knows how to fuck and shows off a great body during some hot reverse cowgirl. She spins around and lets him finger her ass while they get started. Once the strokes are going though she bounces up and down too fast for him to do anything but hold her hips and let her go to town. For the big finale, she gets down on her knees and jerks his load right into her mouth. The facial shot and cum swallowing finish help to make this scene stand out among some really good ones.
Bonus: BTS, Photo Gallery, Smash Previews
