Saw: A Hardcore Parody
MOVIE TYPE: Parody
143Mins.
Blue Circus Entertainment
DIRECTOR: Dick Chibbles
THEMES: Parody, Violence, Porn Stars, Facials
2011
CONDOMS: None
STARS: Asa Akira, Amber Rayne, Lexi Belle, Tommy Gunn, Evan Stone, Britney Amber, Syren De Mer, James Bartholet, Asa Akira, Ginger Lynn, David Lord, Ron Jeremy, Emmy Reyes, Heidi Mayne, Jay Ashley, Johnny Thrust, Jordan Lane, Barrett Blade, Mike Vegas, Daisy Layne, Redd Dyber
REVIEW-
From the AVN Award-nominated box comes a parody I hadn’t seen the first time. It’s another WTF parody moments, I must confess. Saw just doesn’t seem to fit with porn. In fact, it barely fits with horror, but that’s part of its allure. For those of you know the Saw series, the idea of XXX torture porn might seem a bit odd. It is, trust me it’s an odd mix. The makers of this movie don’t pull any punches. This isn’t a happy go lucky tip of the cap to the original. It’s a gritty combination of hot sex and real violence. The look is dead on and the music is very good (with one odd exception.). The script is perhaps the best part of the movie. Instead of just half-assing it, they wrote a movie that is very true to the original. The quirky killer is knocking off porn stars in creative ways. The torture devices are clever, but so are the killer’s motivations. I think that is what surpised me the most. At times this movie really does play like another installment of the Saw series that just happens to revolve around the porn industry. Speaking of porn, this movie does have sex scenes. They are good at times, but not great. Originality and despearation are the best aspects of the sex scenes. Amber Rayne is up against the clock as she blows Johnny Thrust and has a huge dildo pistoning in and out of her ass. Asa Akira and Britney Amber has to literally fuck Evan Stone to save their lives. Lexi Belle stars in a pretty hot three-way that is just a straight sex scene with no edge. It’s good with a couple of hot facials. Ginger Lynn is sadly wasted in a scene that has zero spark despite her best efforts. The sex scenes could have used more work. Some of them could have been longer, others could have hotter and a few could have been cast better. So in the end this is the kind of movie that gets nominated for awards, is worth watching with friends and is a lot better on most levels than I expected.
Porn star Amber Rayne has lived to tell her horrible dale. She is trabbed by Screw Ball and attached to a device that fucks her ass with a huge dildo. At the other end is a poor fan who is hooked up to a collar. She has to suck him off or he will be choked and she will literally be anally fucked to death. Faced with death, she goes right to work sucking and talking dirty while her ass gets fucked. The guy seems to struggle with wood while she has no problem at all taking the fake dick in her back door. The dark nature of the scene and the set makes this a less optimal setting for traditional jerk off porn. It is frantic and dirty though so there is that appeal. Amber gets him off and then makes her escape. Looks like fan boy was not so lucky though.
Lexi Bell, Tommy Gunn & Michael Vegas
Lexi Belle is being eaten by Michael Vegas when Tommy Gunn comes home. Normally this could be a problem, but she tells him that she’s lonely and horny. It doesn’t work at first, but hey, they are actors in a porn flick (inside of a porn flick) so director David Lord feeds them some dialog and now it’s a three-way. In no time at all she is squatting between two dicks and sucking them off. Lexi is always hot and there is nothing dark or violent to get in the way. They fuck her in doggy and then cover her sexy face in cum. It’s a short scene, but shows off her body nicely and delivers the goods.
Ginger Lynn & Ron Jeremy
Ron Jeremy is the police chief. After sending one of his detectives under cover as a porn star he pulls Ginger Lynn out from under his desk. He puts her down and gets his tongue up in her naughty bits. Ginger still knows how to suck a mean dick. She slurps up and down Ron’s dick while he pinches off enough blood to make it fit in her pussy. The manage a few strokes before he cums on her. This is really a mess. Other than Ginger with a cock in her mouth, it’s totally worth skipping.
Emmy Reyes & James Bartholet
Undercover as a porn actor, James Bartholet gets to fuck sexy little Emmy Reyes. She laughs through some funny dialog and then drools all over his dick. The pretty girls provides nice eye candy as she bobs up and down, jerking the shaft and devouring the head. They use a toy to get her warmed up and ready to fuck. The quick, two position fuck is hotter than the last scene, but the music makes this creepier than one of the torture scenes. She jerks him off all over her face.
Asa Akira, Britney Amber & Evan Stone
Watching the video of the first murder, the detectives see Evan Stone, Asa Akira and Britney Amber run through their test. Evan’s prowess makes men feel inadequate so he must keep his dick hard for forthy mintues without cumming. Ass and Brintey like to ridicule male talent with wood issues and if they can’t help keep him up, the collars on their neck will explode. See, this is very clever even if it’s a little creepy. The girls suck his dick despearately and do their part. Asa looks great of course, but the fucking with fear in their eyes is a little off putting. He lifts Asa onto the table and fucks her tight pussy. She is singing his praises and doing her part to keep him hard. Britney gets on top and rides while Asa licks his balls and grabs the shaft by the base. The frantic energy ends up working, but mostly this scene is hot because Asa riding any cock is bound to make everyone’s dick hard. With the clock winding down, the girls go in for a double blowjob and make him explode all over their pretty faces.
Heidi Mayne
With the cop and the porn director now in the danger chairs, we watch Heidi do a gang bang. She is the director’s civilian wife and he has to direct her in a scene or they will all die. There is a flaw in the torture logic here, but Heidi takes on the four strangers with her husband directing the action. There isn’t much directing really. She seems to know just what to do. The action is fast and furious here with a lot of guys fucking her and finally shooting on her face.
Bonus: Pick Your Device (Scenes), Case File (Photo Gallery)
