This Ain’t Jaws XXX (Blu-Ray/3d)
MOVIE TYPE: Parody
100 Mins.
Hustler and Adam & Eve
DIRECTOR: Stuart Canterbury
THEMES: Parody, Blondes, Big Tits
2011
CONDOMS: None
STARS: Dale DaBone, Alexis Ford, Darcy Miller, Lily Labeau, Danny Wylde, Phoenix Marie, Evan Stone, Jayden Cole
REVIEW-
I suppose this was inevitable. The first summer blockbuster is the latest porn parody. Hustler turned to Adam & Eve for some star power for this 3D event. That gives them access to Alexis Ford who wins the award for the hottest XXX replacement for an original role in a parody. Instead of Richard Dreyfuss we get the super cute blonde with the spectacular little booty. She is joined by a mostly blonde cast of good looking women who are ready to fuck. Sexually the movie is decent. Phoenix Marie is always worth a look even in a cramped scene that is rather vanilla. Lily Labeau gets to play the poor girl in the dark water at the start of the flick, but before she gets eaten, she gets eaten; and fucked. Darcy Miller is a pretty good looking woman who ends up in a rather plain scene. Alexis has a hot 69 with Jayden Cole before her big finale. The best scene is the one between Alexis and Evan Stone. The main draw here is not the sex scenes. They are fine, even strokeable at times. No, what people want to see is what Stuart Canterbury and company have done with the world’s most famous man-eating shark. That part of the movie is pretty funny. The CGI shark is pretty cheesy, but not really much worse than the original mechanical version was. The action sequences aren’t bad. Throw in the 3D and you have a rather entertaining little movie. The biggest problem is that the original movie doesn’t’ lend itself well to sexual fun. It’s just a good scary flick. As a porn, it means they have to stretch a bit too much. We do get the ironic scenes and lines which is pretty cool. We also get a cheesy shark and that’s worth the price of admission. This is a fun 3D effort for Hustler with just enough cheese to make it funny and just enough Alexis to make it worth stroking to. I was secretly hoping she would take a look at one of her co-stars and say “we’re gonna need a bigger cock” but I suppose that would have been too much to ask for.
Lily Labeau & Danny Wylde
Sneaking away from the big beach bonfire, Lily Labeau and Danny Wylde heat up the summer night. Lily can’t seem to keep her fingers out of her pussy as Danny sucks on her perky boobs. After a lightning quick BJ, she is on top of him and riding hard. Once again her tits take center stage as she works her hips and makes them bounce. They flip her over and we get a nice view of her legs and the rest of her sweet body. This is a good looking scene with Lily providing better than average energy and a bit of naughty talk. After a quick pace at the start, we settle in for a long shot in spoon. Danny finally pulls out and shoots all over her neatly trimmed bikini bush. After a good fuck, Lily needs a refreshing dip in the ocean. As we all know, it does not end well for her.
Phoenix Marie & Rocco Reed
With the beach on alert, lifeguard Rocco Reed slips into a changing room to keep Phoenix Marie safe and filled with cock. The busty blonde drops to her knees and starts sucking right away. After a good blowjob, she stands up, bends over and gets her shaved slit filled with meat. Phoenix is always worth watching and keeps looking back over her shoulder at him to encourage his strokes. The reverse cowgirl is really hot thanks to big tits and a very enthusiastic dick rider. She is talking dirty to him, but he is silent and it seems slightly off. The facial is great however with Phoenix taking the load on her tongue and letting some drip onto her perfect tits.
Alexis Ford & Jayden Cole
Shark expert Alexis Ford (A much more attractive option than Richard Dreyfuss) informs the Mayor (Jayden Cole) that they need a professional to kill the shark. The news goes down much easier because so does Alexis. (Hardy Har Har). The women kiss and quickly disrobe so they can 69 on the Mayor’s desk. Alexis is super hot and seems to know what she’s doing. The best shots come with the camera on Alexis’ ass as she rides Jayden’s face. They sit up side by side and start using toys with Alexis kind of stealing the show.
Darcy Miller & Dale DaBone
About to go shark hunting, the sheriff (Rocco Reed) has one last chance to make love to his pretty wife (Darcy Miller). He takes advantage, easing her onto the couch and kissing his way up her thigh. Darcy pulls off her top lets her big tits breathe as she easily slides the full length of her man’s fishing pole into her mouth. She lets the tits dangle a bit while bending over his lap. This is very sexy footage and fits well with the bouncing rack shots provided by reverse cowgirl. Cowgirl is nice, but the shots of Darcy on her back show off her pussy really nicely. She’s just a good looking woman overall and has enough energy to keep us interested. Dale shoots his wad all over one of her boobs and head out to sea.
Alexis Ford & Evan Stone
After doing battle with the big bad shark, Evan Stone and Alexis Ford take a break. There may be danger lurking in the water, but she is looking for that beast in his pants. It grows quickly into a size that is too big for her mouth. No worries though because Alexis is determined to make it work. She gags loudly on the cock and slobbers to keep it nice and wet. The pretty blonde sucks it deep, gags, then backs off to re-plan her attack. He approaches the fucking the same way, pumping her tight little pussy a few times before backing off to go at it again. They get into some interesting fun with Alexis squatting and being pulled forward onto his long dong. Showing off her best asset, she turns and sticks her butt out to the camera as she rides. Evan does a nice reach around to teacher asshole, but it is off limits even at sea. He finishes with a bit of tit fucking and then a shot on her boobs and chin. Damn Alexis is fucking hot.
Bonus: BTS, Hustler Trailers, Adam & Eve Trailers, Slide Show, Commercials
