Not Jennifer Lopez XXX: An American Idol
MOVIE TYPE: Parody
148 Mins.
X-Play
DIRECTOR: Will Ryder
THEMES: Parody, Latinas
2012
CONDOMS: None
STARS: Renae Cruz, Eva Angelina, Alexis Amore, Veronique Vega, Carmella Santiago, Arielle Alexis, James Bartholet, Aurora Snow, Isabella Sky, Sunny Lane, Jeremy Steele, Lee Stone, Tee Reel, Kurt Lockwood
REVIEW-
Holy overdue library books Batman. This XXX parody has been marinating in the pop culture stew for a while. From the looks of things, this Jennifer Lopez parody was probably supposed to be more like Will Ryder’s fantastic Britney Rears flick than anything relating to American Idol. (Mostly since half of the cast for this flick retired long before Jenny from the Block became Paula Abdul’s replacement.) In this flick, J-Ho is at the center of an international terrorist emergency. Apparently top members of Al-Qaeda like Jenny and will cease all terrorism if she will simply perform live without lip synching. (Honestly it seems like Will ran out of actresses to play Britney and switched over to J-Lo.) There is a plot involving a goofy Senator (Played nicely by James Bartholet) trying to convince her to do it, but it seems like things are sort of strung together from unfinished parts. That doesn’t mean it isn’t good. The script has some really funny moments and the sex is pretty good. Renae Cruz is super cute. I don’t think she looks anything like Jennifer Lopez and there is no way she stacks up in the booty department, but I still love watching her. She is clearly the star here, fucking guys and girls with equal joy. Her scene with Jeremy Steele is perhaps the most celerity parody worthy of the bunch. She also has a very hot three-way at the end with Veronique Vega and Tee Reel. If that doesn’t keep you watching then you are missing out. There is also a fantastic fuck from Eva Angelina in here. Overall this is a decent stroke flick with a sexy cast and limited parody appeal. Instead it’s a kinda-fun pop tart movie with some good sex scenes and a few blasts from the recent past.
Renae Cruz & Jeremy Steele
J-Ho has to decide if she is going to do the live concert or not. Her hubby (Jeremy Steele) thinks she should, but only after giving him some pussy first. He does down and slobbers all over her meat curtains. I don’t know if her voice is up for a live show, but J-Ho’s throat is ready for some fucking. (OK, maybe not her throat, but at least her mouth.) Nice POV shots of Renae doing her best to keep his dick throbbing and happy. I don’t know how much Renae really looks like Jennifer Lopez, but she is fun to watch and hot so let’s just enjoy that. Also, it’s nice to see that they didn’t go the obvious route (cough, she’s a beard, cough) and made Marc Anthony at least interested in chicks. After a long BJ, he lets her slide up and down on his cock. Good dirty talk from Renae though neither performer is doing much “in character” fucking here. It’s just a straight forward vanilla sex scene featuring a chick who is super easy on the eyes. Nothing wrong with that, especially when he shoots a load all over her tongue and she cleans his cock like a good little pop tart diva.
Renae Cruz, Arielle Alexis & Kurt Lockwood
After meeting with the President and the leader of Al Qaeda on the same day. (Nice National Security there guys.) J Ho comes home to find another Idol judge (Arielle Alexis) in bed with Kurt Lockwood. This scene is totally out of place because it was shot long before the judge Arielle is supposed to be playing was anything more the a liner none blip. Lockwood has been out of the business for a long time. (Long enough to come back as a TS bottom and then disappear again.) Renae and Kurt (Whose hair, what there is of it, already looks greasy and sweaty even before he starts. How the fuck does that happen?) give Arielle plenty of attention. The double blowjob is pretty good even though there isn’t quite enough to go around. This is another fairly vanilla scene once Renae leaves. It isn’t bad and Arielle does a nice job of showing off her shaved pussy and acting like she is getting the dicking of her life. She spins around and closes her eyes while leaving her mouth wide open to take his popshot. There isn’t a lot of parody appeal here and Lockwood just doesn’t bring nearly enough to the table to get a memorable scene from this girl.
Carmella Santiago
In the mandatory solo scene, leggy Carmella Santiago masturbates on her couch. She is supposed to be a former Idol winner, but is invited to J-Ho’s house for a party? Random script wrangling aside this scene features a fairy cute girl with great tan lines on top and an uber-muff carpeting her lower regions. It’s not a bad scene, especially if you like solo fun.
With the Senator and the Governor hanging at J-Ho takes time out to have lesbian sex with Alexis Amore. The Latin-flavored music is the perfect backdrop for the girl on girl games between young Renae and her veteran partner. Alexis takes charge, bending her pretty friend over and licking that sweet butt hole while spanking those cheeks. Not to be outdone in her movie, J-Ho spreads Alexis’ legs and feats on her tuna taco. There is a lot of sexy brown flesh and sweet pink meat on display in this fun little tryst. Alexis breaks out a strap on and breaks in Renae with some hard doggy before letting her ride at her own pace. The toy play here is very good and carries a scene that might otherwise have been easy to forget.
Eva Angelina & Lee Stone
Watching the lesbian action has the Governor (Lee Stone) turned on. Party slut Eva Angelina drags him to another room and takes his big cock in her hand. He flips her over as soon as her bikini bottoms are off and licks her sweet little honey pot. Eva looks really hot here and deep throats Lee’s cock before it can get totally hard. Picking her up, he gives the little hottie some standing 69 that really shows off her body nicely. With her pussy all juiced up and ready to go she mounts in reverse cowgirl and bounces up and down. I love the way she looks when her legs are pulled up and he can just plow that hot hole. When she turns around, Eva shows her tits in Lee’s face while he reaches around to play with her butthole. Great energy here as Eva talks dirty, handles the huge cock and finally taking a big load on her face. Eva is always worth a stroke or three.
Renae Cruz, Veronique Vega & Tee Reel
While J-Ho and her hot friend Veronique Vega are chilling, P Diddy (Tee Reel) shows up. He likes Veronique and who can blame him? To prove it, he goes down on her, eating that young box and licking her clit until her nipples pop right up. The pretty young star fucker starts sucking his cock and that’s just too much for J-Ho, she crawls underneath Tee and sucks his balls. Super hot double girl BJ action here. Renae really steps up her game and Veronique is just too cute. Watching these two babes battle it out and strip each other is easily the sexiest footage we have seen yet. Tee lies back and lets one girl ride his face while the other enjoys his cock. Really good footage of Veronique in reverse cowgirl while Renae waits with open mouth for the dick to pop out. Returning the favor Veronique rubs J-Ho’s clit while she gets rammed good and hard from behind. After the best scene of the movie Renae takes a load on her chin and has her sexy girlfriend clean it up. Nothing at all wrong with this super hot three-way.
Bonus: BTS, PSA, Slide Show, Trailers
