Barely Legal 127
MOVIE TYPE: Vignette
140 Mins.
Company: Hustler
DIRECTOR: Otto Bauer
THEMES: Teens
CONDOMS: No
Year of Production: 2012
STARS: Casi James, Rina Ryder, Alison Tyler, Lacey Leveah, Gabriella Petrova, Alex Gonz, Billy Glide, Lee Stone, Eric John, Otto Bauer
Reviewed by: Miller Huggins
It’s been a long time since I’ve reviewed or even watched a Barely Legal title – since #69, in fact, almost sixty iterations ago. I notice Otto Bauer is in charge of this one, which I am in favor of. The BL franchise is so successful that I can’t imagine he strays too far from the format, but Otto occasionally busts out some crazy shit in pursuit of interesting porn. I’ve also seen him hew faithfully to the mainstream, though, so who knows?
Casi James is a soft little blonde whose scene with Alex Gonz is nothing short of whelming. She doesn’t display much personality, just pink parts and the standard amount of enthusiasm. She’s cute enough, very perky, and she and Gonz run through pussy-eating, blowjob, spoon, cowgirl, RCG, a couple of other innominate positions and a facial pretty much by the numbers, finishing up in 25 minutes.
For some reason, Otto has included on the disc the crazy time he got Rina Ryder and Billy Glide talking about the Tim Tebow, Eagles-Giants rivalry, Obamacare, and a few other things. Neither one of them comes off well as a conversationalist; if your fetish is for people who don’t know much and aren’t much improved by getting to know them better, you should get the lube out. Five minutes of that is too much even for Otto, and Billy finally steps up to the plate. I’ll be goddamned if Rina Ryder is Barely Legal in any sense of the words, unless she has committed two felonies and is on parole but planning a third. She’s not unpleasant in any way, but she’s no blushing teen. She looks like any girl you’d find in a local Sunday paper, sporting women’s fashions in the summer ads – slender, generically pretty, not too busty, brown hair – except sucking cock and getting fucked in missionary, cowgirl, RCG and doggy instead of pretending to throw a Frisbee. Not the best scene ever – Billy Glide is starting to melt like on old wax candle, and Rina, while cute enough, won’t satisfy the teen lust that Barely Legal viewers nurse in their cramped, filthy hearts.
Otto has Alison Tyler and Lee Stone talking about Tebow and the Occupy movement as well, going so far as to make Alison Tebow for the camera. She’s a brunette hottie, a little bustier and thicker than the usual BL crowd, or at least what the BL crowd was back when I was seeing a lot more BL in my daily life than I do now. Fresh-faced and big-titted, she also has a more comprehensive tattoo than I’m used to in a Barely Legal effort. I like that, though. She’s a thorough and enthusiastic cocksucker, and her tits, are big enough for Lee Stone to get some fucking in before continuing on to standing missionary, RCG, cowgirl, doggy, and a good edge-of-the-counter mouth fucking before popping on her face as she kneels (and Tebows) for the load. Lee Stone Tebows as well, but with his physique, he looks a lot more like The Thinker than Tim Tebow.
Lacey Leveah, a blindingly blonde Southerner, knows who Tim Tebow is, but not who Newt Gingrich is, which makes me think Otto has gotten what he wants to out of the talk about Tebow. She doesn’t want to talk politics, which is okay, because I don’t want to listen to her talk politics, so the conversation gets cut a little short and she goes right to sucking Eric John’s cock. He’s a goofy-looking mook, but his face (and better, his haircut) isn’t in most of the shots, so it doesn’t matter much. This is a pretty bland scene even by BL standards – she’s not much of a noisemaker and he’s not much of an acrobat, but if you like blondes, you’ll be okay. Blowjob, pussy-eating, RCG, missionary, spoon, facial and we’re out.
Gabriella Paltrova refuses to be drawn into talk about politics or football. Otto himself steps in front of the camera in this scene. He keeps trying to get her talking, but eventually resorts to just undressing her and getting underway. Otto is a good dirty talker, keeping up a stream of low-voiced patter that keeps Gabriella hot and moaning, and he fucks her solidly in missionary, standing, cowgirl, spoon and standing doggy. Along the way, she gets into it enough to start demanding that he smack her ass, and she eventually gratefully takes a pop on the face.
Hustler product, if history holds true here, is reliable and unchanging. Young girls, nice bodies, bland settings, the occasional whitewashed hint of kink – a nod to bondage, a quick whiz in the shower. Professional performances abound, and there is rarely a disappointment, if you don’t mind the exceedingly vanilla nature of the work. It’s a little ironic that Hustler, once so renowned and reviled for the extremity of its content, is now the standard-bearer of porn for the masses.
OVERALL RATING: 7
FEMALE LOOKS: 7
MALE LOOKS: 7
PICTURE QUALITY: 9
EXTRAS: Slideshow, BTS, Trailers, Links, Documentary (Barely Legal: How It All Began
PLOT/ACTING: 7
SEX: 7
