The Blair Witch Project: A Hardcore Parody
www.EvilAngel.com
MOVIE TYPE: Parody
98 Mins
Blue Circus Entertainment
DIRECTOR: Dick Chibbles
THEMES: Porn Parody, Horror, Outdoor Sex, Big Tits
2012
CONDOMS: None
STARS: Britney Amber, Tommy Gunn, Brandy Aniston, Jack Vegas, Nikki Daniels, Daisy Laine
REVIEW-
In this XXX version of “Blair Witch Project” (there have been more than a couple), the porn crew is out to shoot a documentary about the legendary poltergeist and “shoot some content.” It stars Britney Amber in the lead. As you will hear several times in this review, I’m a fan and she is the best reason to watch this movie. Blair Witch is an odd choice for a XXX parody and there are times when it’s pretty good. At other times it feels like a never-ending BTS reel with people pretending to fight and get lost in between random boffs. The cast is mostly forgettable with the exception of Britney. The other girls aren’t unattractive, but they don’t really bring much energy to the table so there isn’t much to recommend here. The camerawork is intentionally shaky. Hell, the movie is supposed to look like Blair Witch. It leaves things feeling raw. That can be good sometimes, but this time it is mostly not great. The horror angle isn’t a horrible idea. This same team did a great job with their Saw parody. This just doesn’t work quite as well. Watch it for some decent Blair Witch parody moments and for Britney (and her awesome tits) but don’t expect much more.
Britney Amber, Nikki Daniels & Tommy Gunn
Before they even hit the road, the crew gets a three-way fuck in. Everyone loves Britney’s big tits so she decides to share them with Nikki and Tommy Gunn. She spreads her legs and gets fingered by the brunette while Tommy feeds her some dick. There is some nice looking double oral footage as the girls pass the meat back and forth. Britney takes the lead, fucking Tommy in reverse cowgirl with some expert flicks of her hips and a whole lot of energy. This is a hot little scene with Tommy blasting his load all over Brit’s shaved pussy so that Nikki can lick it clean. Let’s hope we see a lot more of the busty blonde as the movie progresses.
Daisy Layne, Brandy Aniston & Hef Pounder
While Brit is still trying to take things seriously, her colleagues are busting out into content all over the place. Brandy, Daisy and Hef get busy right behind her. This is a nicely lit outdoor scene that features some decent head from Brandy, but I’m having a hard time really getting into the spirit of things here. It’s rather non-descript sexual action and I find Brandy rather attractive, but there isn’t much else here. It’s just sort of three people going through the motions on the grass. He ends up cumming all over Brandy’s nipple.
Nikki Daniels & Jack Vegas
If the uninspired sex wasn’t great during the day, imagine what happens when Jack and Nikki hook up after dark. At least it fits in somewhat with the original thanks to POV handheld action and the dim lighting. Nikki looks right into the camera and lovingly eats up his meat until he shoots his load. This is short, sweet and does have some appeal.
Brandy Aniston & Tommy Gunn
Picking up the theme in the daylight, Tommy whips out his cock and Brandy sucks it. She plays nicely to the camera and he tries to get creative with the hand held. They find a rock and go for some doggy action that probably isn’t all the comfortable. Give Brandy some points for toughing this one out. The footage here is pretty decent, especially when she spins around to take his load on her face.
Brandy Aniston, Daisy Layne, Nikki Daniels & Britney Amber
Though everyone is lost and getting a little testy, there is still time for lesbian sex. The girls all get funky in the tent and there is some nice exposed flesh to drool over. Odd camera placement and sex that just doesn’t make any sense in the flow of the movie makes this pretty skipable. I still like watching Britney’s great tits, but the story is now a whole lot more interesting than the sex.
Britney Amber, Nikki Daniels, Hef Pounder, & Jack Vegas
After a final round of fighting over the maps and stuff (This shit worked so well in the original, but not it just looks like people playing around at being angry) we get a grand finale sex scene. The best part about what happens next is that we get to see Britney sucking two dicks at once. Much of the action in this movie is forgettable, but her pretty face perky boobs dominate the screen beautifully. She shows good energy getting fucked at both ends and rides in reverse cowgirl like she’s really fucking for the last time. Right in the middle of the hot two on one action, Nikki shows up and occupies one of the dicks. Jack pounds the new pussy until he pulls out and shoots all over her. Britney licks it up then licks up the cream. She also gets to do her own version of the night vision snot scene.
Bonus: BTS, Trailer for Saw Parody
