Blog: Fun On Social Media

NOTE: The following is fun, satire and in case you miss it, poking fun at myself as much as anyone. To make sure the light mood is properly expressed, please enjoy these photos taken when some really cool people (Natasha Nice, Aurora Snow and Ivan) attended a game with me.

I try really hard not to fuck with anyone, to stay positive and to have fun. I try to keep my discourse, even on line, professional, good natured and never let it prevent me from being friendly with anyone. Sure, I can get passionate and even a big snarky at times. I have even been known to step over the line, but I generally apologize for that and try to be better.

On occasion though I admit to gently poking back at people who fuck with me.

I try to smile through it all and try to treat people the way I think people should be treated. That goes triple for the people in the adult industry. I don’t think it’s a hard rule to follow. We all work in a rather small industry and come from different backgrounds but are working towards a common goal. Talking shit about anyone is bound to back to them so why do it? Social media has added a new wrinkle to this of course. People can say whatever the fuck is on their mind and it’s out there for all to see.

That’s why it kind of strikes me as odd when things get so strangely out of hand. There is a certain someone (Who will remain nameless) who works for (or at least used to) a production company (Also nameless) in XXX. I’ve always had an outstanding relationship with this company which is why I have this person as part of my SM in the first place. Not sure I ever formally met this person though I have seen him around at industry events. No reason to expect that there is any per-existing animosity and there certainly isn’t on my part.

This person generally posts about three things. 1. A performer he seems to have some sort of partnership with. 2. Professional wrestling and 2. His favorite professional sports team.

Nothing wrong with any of those topics of course. I often post sports-related topics myself, even ruffling the occasional feather. I’m passionate about my teams and expect a fair amount of return ribbing or trash talk in return. Most people seem to get it and respond with something akin to what is dished out. That’s kind of the rule. If I had spent days trashing the Heat when the C’s were up 3-2 I would expect to get a little back after the series. I may not like it, but give or take a few less than stellar moments I’m good taking as well as I dish out.

In that spirit, when this particular person’s beloved team visited the local club a while back I read for three nights about how superior his team was, how the locals had not chance and how stupid, inbred and clueless fans of the locals were. There was also a fair bit of challenging any of us to speak up. Silly bravado aside I saw no reason to take that anything more than a sports fan trying desperately to sound the wrestling performers he so idolizes. Still, it was with some disappointment that the man who dared any of us to point out that our team did in fact take two out of three went completely silent in the wake of his team’s defeat. Come on, you dare people to speak up and when they, nicely, nothing?

So last night the same guy says something about how silent all fans of a handful of teams are and that it must be due to the fact that his team now owns the best record in the league. (Do they? I honestly don’t know. It’s frigging June for goodness sake.) Having seen him throw out several similarly pointed barbs and being in an incredibly good mood myself I figured I would toss one back. I told him that perhaps some fans were enjoying their own team’s victory (I certainly was having watched the game with my sons which is pretty much perfect) and that not everyone felt like behaving like “jagoff” fans.

In retrospect I realize that using the word “jagoff” may have been a bad idea. It may be taken as mean-spirited or even name calling. In fact, that is what the man who threw down the gauntlet immediately cried foul about. He quickly hit retweet to say that fans who did not share his enthusiasm for his team had resorted to “name calling.” I was very tempted to point out that I wasn’t calling all fans of this team jagoffs, just the ones who were behaving as such. However I considered that too pointed a barb for such a trivial exchange and honestly thought I was being professionally friendly.

Instead of going on the attack I pointed out that someone who regularly and in the very exchange in question referred to people as “morons” or “inbreds” probably wasn’t one to go around complaining about name calling. After all that does seem to be a bit pot/kettle behavior.

Let me pause there to point something out that should have been a red flag and an end to the conversation. Any time anyone gets into a battle over “name calling” that is not resolved in three seconds, RUN. Run away quickly because you aren’t dealing with someone who will hear logic or respond to reason. If someone can’t grasp that you trying to explain to them that “moron” is as much a ‘name’ as “jagoff” then you should stop the fight right then. In this battle of wits you have won by default. In that sense I could and perhaps should have clicked off the phone and put an end to this unpleasant and already pointless exchange.

I tried instead to be gracious, putting on my industry hat and reminded this person that I had invited him to a game. That made him really angry and he said some really nasty shit in a post that I wasn’t supposed to see. All the while, he going back on my timeline trying to figure out what team I liked and pretending that he hadn’t starting the conversation by whining a bit at having someone use the word “jagoff.” Of course you sort of lose the moral high ground when A. You started it and B. You continue it. But hey, he was on a roll.

Then things get really strange. So strange in fact that I started to wonder if perhaps this person had been fired or quit the biz altogether. Not only did he continue to pretend like he didn’t know me or remember the invite, but he actually said that he had no clue who two very prominent people in our industry were. One of whom follows him. He also played coy about my mentioning his company name. Why did I keep saying it? Well, you see that was your chance to either A. Let me know you were out of the business or B. Stop being a complete tool and act like a professional. Apparently I overlooked option C which was to attempt to escalate the situation (Or save face perhaps) by calling me a “fucking moron” for saying good night and walking away from the situation that he started.

I started thinking that some companies really should be a little more careful with the kind of stupid shit their employees (or interns) spew on the web. That’s when I started thinking like a publicist and realized I had regained my sanity. It’s no fun talking smack with someone who throws out challenges and then just runs from them. So, it was clearly a waste of time and I wanted to make sure that he at least has the chance to understand that I meant no offense and wished him well.

At that point the moronic part was remaining engaged with someone who was grandstanding for whoever might have been listening. Sadly, we were having two very different conversations. You see, if I call out half the sports loving world and get a little back, I expect that. I’m not going to get my panties in a bad about someone calling me a name. I should have just let it go the first time he whined. I know that. I was trying to enjoy some good natured sports banter with someone who is clearly not good natured and that’s on me. And yes, I realized early on that he’s a classic “last word” poster and I have WAY too much fun politely adding “have a good night” just so that they have to re-load their insult gun over and over as if shouting louder and more direct insults is proof of anything. That is my weakness, I just can’t resist smiling in the face of that kind of bombastic nonsense. I know it’s wrong and dammit I’m just so ashamed. Then again I could be a jagoff who can dish it out, but not take it.

And in the end, who wants to be that?

Post Script: After waking up to a mail box full of updates, WFT messages and the like I just decided that blocking was better. Not because I particularly dislike this person, but because he is clearly looking to pick a fight with random people, act all butt hurt and then set up some kind of strawman battle of pettiness. To quote the ‘poet’ “sometimes the only winning move is not to play.” Or if you prefer something a little less 80’s, how about just…”nevermore.”