Not Animal House XXX

MOVIE TYPE: Parody
170 Mins
X Play & Adam & Eve
DIRECTOR: Will Ryder
THEMES: Porn Parody, Comedy, Sorority Girls, Coeds, Group Sex
CONDOMS: None
2012
STARS: Asa Akira, Jessie Andrews, Eric Swiss, Kaylee Hilton, Tom Byron, Britney Amber, Anthony Rosano, Spencer Scott, Katt Dylan, Nikki Daniels, Zoey Foxxx, Vicky Chase, Bliss Dulce, Cindy Starfall, Callie Cyprus, Taylor Russo, Ashley Stone, Ron Jeremy, Eric John, Carmen Monet

REVIEW-

In a porn landscape littered with parodies, Will Ryder’s work always stands out. At his best, his XXX versions of our favorite flicks and shows are the very best of the genre. At his worst, he is sometimes a little too ambitious for his own good. Where does Not Animal House fit in? Somewhere in the middle, but much closer to the former than the latter. Taking on Animal House is a fun idea with some great erotic opportunities. It also gives Ryder a chance to play around with one of the great movie soundtracks of all time. (That aspect of the movie is fantastic by the way.) In order to add some female characters to male dominated movie, Ryder has turned the Delta House fraternity into a co-ed sorority. That works mostly because he has Asa Akira and Jessie Andrews as the lead pledges. These two women give the movie plenty of star power. Fans of the original will be happy to see virtually all of their favorite scenes here. Some of them are just done as dialog, but a few are artfully woven into the script. The first of my two issues with the movie has to do with the script. There are times when the whole thing jumps around to the point that it doesn’t make sense. I know that this is an adult movie so we have to temper our expectations. Even still, Animal House is a pretty simple movie and with a little more polish, this could have been a dead on parody. (Ryder has done plenty of those.) The jokes are good and some of the performances are fantastic. Eric Swiss, Tom Byron and Asa Akira handle things really well. So the music is great, the script is funny if a bit disjoined and the acting is pretty great. What about the sex? Well there is a lot of it. That’s the first thing that stands out. All of the parties lead to great sexual opportunities. With a few shaky camera moments not withstanding, the sex is as good as it is plentiful. There are lots of hot women here including Britney Amber, Nikki Daniels, Vicky Chase, Katt Dylan and Cindy Starfall just to mention a few. Asa Akira is gorgeous and gives a couple of a great scenes. She and Jessie Andrews are under-used however. I think that maybe doing away with one of the random couch sex scenes in exchange for an Asa blowbang would have helped. Hell, have her fuck Jessie or bang the Dean’s wife or something. There are plenty of opportunities to take advantage of the superstar leads working on this movie. Overall this is a very good movie. It is a great parody with lots of laugh, hot chicks and good sex. More Asa and some polish might make this even better, but it is still going to be a contender for Best Parody when the dust settles. Another must-see parody from Ryder.

Callie Cyprus & Eric Swiss

Bad girl Callie Cyprus just can’t keep her mouth off of Eric’s cock, even at a snooty sorority rush party. With disapproving eyes looking on, she bobs her head on his meat. They stop the fun almost immediately, making this a sex scene without a cumshot. It’s a nice tease and fits in with the movie nicely.

Vicky Chase & Jack Vegas

Over at the Delta House, BJs are encouraged. In fact, Vicky Chase is giving one to Jack Vegas right in plain sight. This scene gets cut with the next one so we jump back and forth. Jack loves her shaved pussy, but not nearly as much as Vicki loves sucking his balls. Very hot oral action here. Vicki is always fun to watch and brings a ton of energy to her fucking in this scene. A hot little facial from this super sexy girl brings things to a quick halt.

Cindi Starfall & Chad Diamond

All kinds of fun happens at these parties. This scene is cut with one above for some hot, but somewhat disjoined action. Chad gets a good BJ and then turns his attention to little Cindy’s tiny twat. After licking it, he sticks his cock in it and slams her double time. Somehow Eric Swiss ends up finishing up this scene, fucking Cindi’s super tight little hole. She quickly turns around and takes a facial at just about the same moment Vicki takes hers.

Britney Amber & Spencer Scott

Bluto goes on a little recon mission and finds that the Omega pledge initiation is everything porn fans dream a sorority could be. Pretty Britney Amber bends over, drops her panties and shows the pledges how to get paddled properly. She then takes one of the pledges, fellow blonde, Spencer Scott upstairs. With Bluto watching at the window, the girls get naked (Nice 3d here) and do stuff we dreamed about in the original version. The girls get in bed and lick one another like good lesbian sorority sluts should. Britney is totally hot and Spencer really appreciates the oral skills she brings to the table. Both girls have really pretty shaved pussies and they gets all lubed up for toy play. Damn hot, especially if you like slutty blondes munching out and going crazy for little vibrators.

Zoey Foxx, Katt Dylan, Ralph Long & Eric John

Things are going poorly for the Deltas, but they still know how to have fun. After the Dean drops a bomb, Ralph and Eric drop the hammer on sexy little Zoey and Katt. There is some really hot double BJ footage as the girls share Ralph’s meat. Katt gets fucked in spoon, keeping both guys happy while Zoey gets naked. I love the side by side fucking. Katt has some nice perky titties that bounce as she rides in reverse cowgirl. Right next to her Zoey shows off a very impressive little ass in cowgirl. Their energy builds as they switch partners and Zoey finds a way to stuff every inch of Ralph into her hot hole. Katt ends up taking an insanely big facial shot that leaves her pretty face just covered. Zoey gets one too, but wow, Katt got totally blasted.

Kaylee Hilton & Tom Byron

The Dean is busy with one of the bitchy Omegas who isn’t quite so bitchy when she is on her knees with balls in her mouth. Nice POV angles as she pits and strokes while pulling her bra off and dutifully sucking that prick. Kaylee is a skinny thing with stand out melons and a tight little pussy. Her legs look good over his shoulders and she seems to really like holding her ass open while she rides him. When spreading it isn’t enough, she takes his dick up her ass, riding hard and loving every throbbing inch. Great close up shots of the ass fucking as they move to the couch. Kaylee does all she is supposed to, but there isn’t much going on beyond the visual. They finish up with a decent facial. Kind of kinky, but it should have been hotter.

Asa Akira, Jessie Andrews & Eric John

Before the big toga party, the Deltas have a cock sucking challenge. Pledges Asa Akira and Jessie Andrews share Eric’s junk. This one isn’t really a fair contest. Asa takes the dick from the start and before she even gives it up, has given a BJ so hot that Jessie can’t hope to compete. Playing the shy girl kind of holds he back, but Asa dominates this one from the start. When the cock is too big for her mouth, Asa goes deep and gags before turning it over to her inexperienced friend. Excellent POV footage as the two girls stare into the camera and share that big cock. They share a big load of cum that gets jerked all over their faces and devoured as these superstars prove that two giving head is better than one.

Taylor Russo, Nikki Daniels, Eric Swiss, Jack Vegas & Eric John

The toga party is just an excuse to be half naked and fucks some more hotties. Taylor and Nikki are getting fucked while party-goers chant and have a good time. The sex really seems rather pointless and just background to some XXX versions of our favorite Animal House scenes. The scene comes back after the Jessie/Seth fuck and is a little more fun from a strokeability standpoint. Nikki ends up taking on two guys when Taylor bails the scene. The guys give it to her hard and bust all over her face.

Jessie Andrews & Seth Gamble

Upstairs, Jessie pretends to pass out so we can get the angel/devil joke scene out of the way. In this version he gets to eat the young pussy and doesn’t mind that her bra was stuffed with toilet paper. Jesse leans back and lets him work her hairy slit until it’s; time for her to gag on his cock. The best shots here come when she opens her eyes really wide and fingers her pussy. He bends her over and fucks her until she screams. It doesn’t take long though because she is at full howl by stroke three. The camerawork is a little shaky at times, but if you like Jessie, she gives her usual performance. There are some good ass shots and her hips movements really are quite impressive. He finally pulls out and shoots all over her tits.

Asa Akira & Anthony Rosano

For some reason, Asa just really wants to fuck Anthony as a condition of the Delta’s big win. With his girlfriend and some other chick fucking beside him. Anthony gets his cock sucked by the hottest girl in the movie. Eventually he is too nervous though and they leave the room. Despite some wonky camera shots, Asa wiggle out of her shorts and right into our sexual fantasies. As Anthony drops his mouth to her pussy, Asa cries out and fingers her butthole. She is all warmed up and ready to fuck. Though he’s been a prick the whole movie, Anthony is rewarded with head so good it might make his balls explode. We cut away from a while and return to Asa on her back with her pussy stuffed with cock. She looks great and gives a finale-worthy fuck while having to share time with the other scene. Just about the tie things get really good, we cut away again. She throws her legs up over her head and lets him fucks the hell out of her. That’s about as hot a sight as we will see in porn. But it’s cut time again. This scene ends with him jerking off all over her tits while Asa eats his balls. I’d love to see this one un-cut as the grand finale.

Kaylee Hilton, Bliss Dulce & Eric Swiss

Kaylee doesn’t like being left out so she joins Bliss and Eric for a three-way fuck. I think there is some mainstream story kink appeal here, but Bliss isn’t really a character and it boils down to just a three-way finale. Cutting the scenes back and forth is never a good idea in my opinion. We jump from Asa at full stride to a fight between two other chicks over a cock. The action here suffers from the cuts. When you have something really great and cut away to anything, the natural reaction is disappointment. Kaylee is busy proving she is a big enough slut to be a Delta while Bliss helps out. When Bliss gets fucked, Kaylee does some pussy to mouth that probably would be hotter if there were some character appeal to her sudden shift to the slutty side. She even runs away after licking the load from her new friend’s pussy.

Bonus: Five BTS reels, Director Travelogue, Bloopers, Making the Music, Photo Gallery, 3d Photo Gallery, 2 Bonus scenes (Starring Annie Cruz & Madison Ivy), Trailers, Intro Menu