Clerks XXX: A Porn Parody
www.Vivid.com
MOVIE TYPE: Parody
120 Mins
Vivid
DIRECTOR: B Skow
CONDOMS: None
THEMES: Porn Parody, Comedy, Sex Shop, Sex Toys
2013
STARS: Allie Haze, Lexi Swallow, Seth Gamble, Chastity Lynn, Kelly Divine, Brian Street Team, Jayden Lee, Mark Davis, Barry Scott, Evan Stone,
REVIEW-
This is a very ambitious project. Clerks is a great movie with incredible dialog and a mostly male cast. B Skow has flipped the genders, kept much of the original edge and made a really good XXX parody. Allie Haze and Lexi Swallow play wise-cracking clerks in an adult boutique. Allie handles most of the dialog and does a great job. She is also the sexual catalyst and that’s never a bad thing. Chastity Lynn and Kelly Divine are Jane and Silent Bertha, a pair of hookers who offer up laughs and wisdom. Chastity does a hot little BJ with Mark Davis and then shares her big ass friend with a horny cop. Great sex scenes from these babes and their dialog is worth a few laughs. Jayden Lee pops in for a side scene that is stunning. I could watch her scene over and over. Lexi Swallow is there for dialog and the big (spoiler alert) lesbian climax. She and Allie are great together sexually. In addition to that one, Allie gives us two more smoking hot fucks. First with Seth Gamble behind the counter (Hey, Behind the Counter, that’s the name of another Clerks-inspired flick by Sin City written by some guy.) and later with Brian Street Team. Despite a lot of anal sex talk, neither guy gets either her end or her in the end. Overall Clerks is clever, ambitious, funny and sexually hot enough to make it worth viewing no matter what you thought of the original.
Allie Haze & Seth Gamble
After a few memorable scenes including an awesome scene of a man pelted with condoms, we get Allie and Seth behind the counter. You may remember the “why, you wanna have sex†scene in the original. Well in this one, they do. Allie gets things started with a blowjob, working her mouth over his cock emphatically while still wearing her booty shorts and white tank top. Losing the shorts, she climbs on top and starts fucking him, showing off her big, beautiful ass in the process. Continuing with that theme she bends over and sticks her butt high in the air while he works her from behind. Nice energy here and good eye candy even in the cramped quarters. Allie is quite the pretty girl and really gets slammed hard here. There are some clever cut-aways to customers in the store, but this scene is hot mostly because it’s fun watching Allie get railed. After he shoots all over her box, they have a very clever version of the “37 dicks†dialog that includes a gender reversal, a brief exploration into homophobia and a rather hilarious moment from Mark Davis.
Chastity Lynn & Mark Davis
Apparently Snowball (Davis) doesn’t care about gender so long as a hot mouth or tight butthole is working his big cock. Chastity has him in the car behind the store. She is “Jane†a hooker who works with her partner “Silent Bertha†(Kelly Divine). The petite working girl slobbers all over his rod and does her best to choke it all down. Though he just bought anal lube, he apparently only paid for the mouth so he pops his load right on her tongue.
Jayden Lee & Barry Scott
Jayden and Barry slip into the video booth, pop in an old Vivid flick (I believe that’s Barbara Dare under that hair helmet) and slip into each other. OK, it’s just Barry slipping his tongue into her butthole, but you get the idea. He turns around and she starts licking his balls until he guides her mouth up over his cock. Jayden is very pretty and quite loud while sucking cock. Perhaps she wants everyone outside to know just what she is doing. He flips her over and fills her quickly, working that pussy while she keeps bucking and screaming. Spreading her legs, she sits over his cock and starts bouncing up and down They finish up with him cumming all over the screen so she can lick it up.
Chastity Lynn, Kelly Divine & Evan Stone
When the cops come to check out Jane and Silent Bertha, they know how to make trouble with the law go away. They sneak into the back where Kelly pulls down Chastity’s shorts and works on her ass while Evan works the front. With the girls stacked on each other, Evan goes right up Kelly’s ass. It’s rather abrupt, but that big ass is just dying for cock so Evan pumps it hard. The girls get together for a double blowjob. Very hot action here as one girl sucks the cock and the other works the balls. Nice energy from Chastity who rides hard, letting him shove himself p her butt as well. Interesting contrast here as one little ass gets fucked and then one massive one. Kelly’s butt is huge and just won’t stop jiggling once it gets going. Not to be outdone, Chastity proves that her tiny ass can take just as much cock as she slams down during some really hot RCA. Give Kelly a lot of credit for getting right in there with her hungry mouth Both girls get down close together for a nicely captured double facial. The cum swapping kiss shows us just how close these quirky friends really are.
Allie Haze & Brian Street Team
Allie’s ex shows up to announce that he is calling off his engagement which of course results in them fucking in the porn section. After a quick, but very loud blowjob she bends over and lets him fuck her from behind. Nice leg shots here She has tube socks on for those of you who dig that little detail. She takes a moment to suck his cock which seems to be struggling a bit. Maybe he isn’t as happy to see her as he should be. He does just fine when she is back on the floor and he’s pushing one leg up to her chest for nice deep penetration. Brain dumps a load on her bush, but then gets right back in there for round two.
The answer to her boy problems is another girl, her best friend in fact. That’s the way we close on this movie. Best friends in love with each other and some lesbian sex as icing on top of the cake. Allie certainly falls into full girl fuck mode quickly. She moves her mouth over into 60 and sucks on Lexi’s meaty pussy lips like a seasoned vet. Her tongue and fingers are making Lexi very happy. Now she’s not only in love with Allie, but totally lost in lust as well. Switching places, Allie throws her legs high in the air and lets Lexi finger the hell out of her. Since they work in a smut shack, toys are easy to find. Allie finds one and gives her new girlfriend a solid fucking. The 69 footage is really the best of the bunch as both women show of great bodies and really do go after each other like long love struck fiends finally unleashed. They finish up with some side by side masturbation, a deep kiss and heartfelt “I love yous.â€
Bonus: Black & White Non-Sex Version, BTS, Bloopers & Outtakes, Photos, Cum Shots, Previews
