Cheating Housewives
MOVIE TYPE: All Sex
140 Mins
Wildlife
DIRECTOR: Ivan Tofuk
CONDOMS: Some Noted
THEMES: Cougars, Hairy Bush
2012
STARS: Penny Porsha, Zenova, Nina Swiss, Joslyn Stone, Clair LaFemme,
REVIEW-
I don’t usually start a review by telling you to avoid a movie, but I am going to do that here. It’s just not any good. There is nothing about it I can recommend. The cast is unappealing, the sex is uninspired and it doesn’t even stay true to its title. It features women who are older, so maybe it has some cougar appeal. But the title speaks of cheating housewives. There is never a mention of the women actually being housewives. And nothing at all that would indicate that they are cheating. Would that have been enough to save this movie? No, but at least I could have recommended it for people who dig cheating housewife fantasies. Instead you have a collection of women who won’t turn many heads having sex that is mostly uninspired. Penny and Clair are the two most worth watching, but they can’t do enough to save it. About the only reason I can think for anyone to watch it is if they just love big, out of control hairy bushes. Even then, it’s a pretty bad flick. Don’t waste your time or money on this one.
Penny Porsha
Busty blonde Penny leads things off. She can’t seem to keep her hands off of her hooters as she sits on the bed and talks to us. Lying back she rubs her pussy for a while. She talks about how much she enjoys being a MILF because young guys like it. OK cool, but the cheating housewife angle isn’t there at all. There is some decent footage of her holding her big tits and shaking them. With her legs spread, her partner comes in and lick it like he’s trying to power lick a billion stamps before his spit glands dry up. She takes his cock into her hands and does a nice job of sucking on the head to keep him throbbing. As she sucks, the tits are always in the picture and that’s a good thing. Penny gets into reverse cowgirl and bounces those big titties hard as she rides. The spoon shots are all right, though her tits are really her best feature. Normally I would recommend waiting for something better to come along, but (spoiler alert) this is as good as it gets in this movie. They finish up with some solid tit fucking. Don’t wait guys, go ahead and lose it here or don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Zenova
Zenova is a soft, thick bottle blonde near-BBW. She takes out her big tits and rubs them for tease. Her ass is big and when she rolls over we get a gander at that big bush. After wishing aloud that she had some real cock, Zenova finds a dude next to her dying to get his hands on her big, natural tits. She sucks his dick moaning loudly and looking to the camera for direction. The POV shots aren’t bad and she gives enough energy to make this semi-watchable. He rolls her over and fucks her in her furry box. The strokes are hard enough to make her big tits rock on her chest. That’s about the best thing going for this scene. He rolls her over drills her some more and Zenova manages to keep up the moaning and dirty talk throughout. They switch to tit fucking, but instead of letting him blow that way, she rolls over for doggy. This isn’t much to look at and she drops to her knees to take a totally tight lipped facial shot.
Nina Swiss & Dirty Harry
OK things go from bad to worse. Nina isn’t much to look at and her voice makes me think of a Russian power lifter or a demon from the Evil Dead. Damn, would you want to stick your dick in either? Throw in an out of control bush that is too much for her panties to hold and you have a perfect storm of un-strokable nightmare porn. She spreads those lips and flicks that bean, but right about now I’m too busy searching want ads and contemplating the horrible decisions that lead me down my career path to this horrifying moment to really care about finding anything remotely redeemable about this scene. Enter Dirty Harry. Now I like Harry. He’s a pretty nice guy and a solid performer, but let’s be honest how often do we get to say that he is absolutely the more attractive performer in a scene? Nina grabs his cock in both hands and in a testament to his skills as a true porn stud, Harry rises to the occasion. (Come on, any dude can get hard for Asa Akira or Bree Olson, this is some serious porn Jedi shit.) He pulls her on top of him and tries his best to hold on while she rolls her hips and shakes that ass. I know I have been really hard on this scene and Nina and I apologize, but seriously folks. She rides and starts to cum. She’s worked up a sweat by now and looks like Ron Jeremy’s less charismatic older sister. The pussy close ups are such a mess that they have me begging for a cut away to Harry’s facial reaction. Over the horse is dead and beaten, but when she asks for a popshot, it sounds like Mephistopheles himself demanding the souls of the damned. Sorry, but getting through this was like a root canal with no drugs.
Joslyn Stone
Blonde Joslyn Stone is new to the business and wants to show us what she’s working with. She tells us that she likes to keep her bush natural and it covers a good portion of her below the belt region. Her fingers manage not to get lost in that thick pubic pelt as she leans forward and starts sucking dick. After a short and pretty decent BJ, she gets pulled onto the dude’s lap. Lots of footage of her big, soft ass as she grinds on his dick. There isn’t a whole lot going on here. Big ass, huge tattoos and decent energy, but I think I’ve pretty much given up on anything really hot in this flick. He bends her over and stuffs that furry box with long deep strokes. Joslyn’s energy earns some points, but the main appeal here is her hairy pussy. It is featured in some really tight shots and should keep fans of the nappy yappy plenty happy. She turns around and wears his load on her face as this one comes to an end.
Clair LaFemme
Speaking with a very thick accent, curvy Finish blonde Clair is the final cheating housewife. Like the other scenes, this one has nothing to do with her being a housewife or cheating. Instead she talks about life in Finland which includes drinking vodka and fucking. She is very busty, a tad overwrought and overall, the hottest girl in the movie. She throws her legs back and lets the guy fuck her twat with a toy while she sucks his cock. Dropping to her knees, she leaves the toy in there and goes to town. (Nice shot of the dildo hanging out of her as she bobs her head.) Clair offers up her big knockers for some decent tit fucking. Though it isn’t saying much, this is the best action of the movie. She rides him pretty well and sucks his dick clean before repositioning him. He mounts her from behind and works that pussy while her tits shake with every stroke. We even get a bit of anal action from this crazy cock hound. Working the load out of his dick with both hands and her mouth Clair finishes him off. I haven’t been this happy to see a movie end since “A Serbian Film”.
Bonus: Photo Gallery, Bonus Scene
