Rog Blog 12/2

AVN Noms, Name Calling and Let’s Get Real

Celebrities Behaving Badly: There must be something in the bottled water because every day there seems to be a new celebrity behaving like an ass. Whether it’s Michael Richards going on a racist rant (Before you jump on me remember this, whether or not Richards is in fact a racist, the rant he went on certainly qualifies as racist in nature.) or Britney Spears flashing her pookie for everyone to see (Upon further review, the judges would like to encourage such behavior in Ms. Spears and other hot female celebrities) the rich and famous are giving us plenty to shake our heads at. This week we even saw nice guy Danny DeVitto go celbri-stupid. His appearance on The View (Is it me, or has that show basically become a daily YouTube clip waiting to happen) was nothing short of a disgrace. He was a drunken idiot and owes the women on that show a huge apology. I like Danny, I really do, but he is in need of a treatment program as Mel Gibson, Michael Richards or any of the other Hollywood types who drink themselves into this state and think they can skate by. Britney is also in a need of treatment, but she will have to come to my house for a few dozen sessions to get over her issues.

Eye Candy: In honor of celebrities gone wild, here is a Mr. Skin gallery featuring the newly single Ms. Britney Spears. Looking Brit.

Calling Names is Lame: For the life of me I can’t figure people out sometimes. It’s one thing to disagree with someone politically. It’s another take philosophical differences of opinion and expand that to calling someone’s children names. I’m always disappointed to see people in this industry involve families in their disputes. We saw that this week on Luke’s site. It is just scary. Short of making threats, but showing the same lack of respect for family, we’ve also seen some petty name calling. It is one thing to see someone I respect sucking the underside of a no-talent twit like Keith Olbermann’s sweaty sack simply because George Soros now deems him worthy of heavy rotation in the lefty ass-bag hit parade, but I would think that most people would understand that picking on someone’s children is just imbecilic. I already put a stop to the use by some of you of the nickname “Little Toupee” because I found it below the belt. Imagine how bad it would be if I let someone run around insulting Little Toup’ Jr. Call me crazy, but I think that if you fire off shots at the children or your political adversaries then you are openly admitting that your intellectual clip is empty and you’ve lost the war of ideas. Then again maybe I’m being too hard. After all, we should probably all pile on and fire Kindergarten insults at public school teachers because we have irrational hatred for their fathers. And of course we should all point a withered finger at any college coed who parties a little bit. That’s just wrong, right? (Because only children of really vile, stupid, evil people would do that right? Right?)

Eye Candy: She may be Spiderman’s girl now, but Kirsten Dunst has been lighting up our world for a while. Anyone remember Bring It On? Fuck yeah.

Let’s Get Real: Let’s get real about this whole ‘squirting’ thing. Now I’m not saying that some women don’t have a talent for or tendency to get extra wet and even do what most would call squirting. But all this wet action at every turn makes me want to tear my damn hair out. Folks, it ain’t a squirting orgasm, it’s piss. Chicks are peeing all over the place, all over each other and sometimes all over guys. For a long time we have all sort of kept quiet about this, but let’s get real. No matter how many box covers, say “It’s not piss” that is exactly what it is. Let’s say for a moment that we do really buy into the whole G-Spot squrting thing. We’ve all seen the way a squirting orgasm works. It’s what guys do. When a guy shoots, the jizz comes out in spurts rather than a long stream. Bio 101 tells that this is due to the fact that the ejaculation is caused by contracting muscles. Squirting chick flicks expect us to believe that the female orgasm happens not in pulses, but in a long streams. That makes about as much sense as…well, let’s leave that for the next “Let’s Get Real” segment. So let’s just call a spade a spade. I happen to buy into the idea that some women can in fact “squirt” but that the vast VAST majority of squirting porn is nothing but a bunch of chicks running around with water bottles on set, filling up and then emptying their bladders on cue. It may technically be squirting, but what is being squirted is urine, plain and simple. Whew, that felt good. I’m thinking about making this a regular segment in the blog.

Eye Candy: Am I the only one who thinks that Jennifer Love Hewitt is one of the hottest women on the planet. Plus she calls her boobs Thelma and Louise. How do you beat that?
AVN Nominations: Performer Awards: There are a lot of categories for performers these days. After AVN recently added the Best Male Newcomer, they have expanded even more with a Best Contract Star. I’m always a little leery of over-compartmentalizing things like this. Sure it is great to see the gonzo girls get recognized in an industry that at times can be dominated by contract girls, but let’s be fair to the AVN voters. In recent years they have named both Aurora Snow and Ashley Blue as Female Performer. More on these awards below.

Best Male Newcomer

Derrick Pierce
Jean Baptiste
Jenner
Jerry
Tommy Pistol

On the one hand, this is probably the award that readers of this site (and porn fans in general) care the least about. New meat slingers aren’t exactly the superstars of the business. On the other hand, I kind of like this award because it gives the new guys a chance. Let’s face it, once you get into the Best Male category it is going to go to Lexington Steele, Rocco Siffredi, Evan Stone or Manuel Ferrara almost every year. New dudes are going to have to really light things up. Since it is a performer award I’m not sure who to give the nod to. Tommy Pistol is really funny and a pretty good actor. He isn’t a bad meat puppet, but I would imagine that Jerry or Jenner will win this one.

Best New Starlet

Alektra Blue
Amy Ried
Ava Rose
Candy Manson
Charlotte Stokely
Gianna Lynn
Jenna Presley
Kirsten Price
Lacie Heart
Mia Rose
Michelle Maylene
Naomi
Riley Mason
Sasha Grey
Stefani Morgan

This list isn’t as strong from top to bottom as it was two years ago, but there are some MONSTER names here. I’ve heard people bring up the fact that Gianna and Sara Stone didn’t show up on this list. It would be tough to argue that they don’t belong here, but it would also be tough to argue against any of the names here. (Damn tough job.) Check out the mega-star rookies from this crop. Amy Reid? Hard to argue against her as one of the top five women in porn, rookie or not. Ditto that with Naomi. Porn’s hottest new ass queen has also been one of the busiest women in the industry. Add to this power duo such super hot newbies like Sasha Grey and either of the Rose sisters and you have a really tough field. Beyond these women, you’ve got contract babes like Lacie and Kirsten, unsung awesome chick Gianna Lynn and of course, Michelle Maylene. How can we even have this discussion without including her. She’s so fucking cute and in some recent scenes, as hot a performer as anyone on this list. Someone pointed out on ADT that Sasha Noxt is missing from this list. I’m a huge fan of Sasha and personally think that she is one of the top five rookies this year. In the end though, some people just won’t make the list. I honestly think that the AVN people did a great job on this tough list. Good field, especially heavy up there at the top.

Eye Candy: Last celeb eye candy for the day. Is Jessica Simpson the star of the next big celebrity sex tape? Let’s hope so.