Waterproof Jack Rabbit from Cal Exotics (Reviewed by Savana Switzer)
Overall rating: B-
Name: Waterproof Jack Rabbit Blue
Reviewer: Savana Switzer
Type of Toy: Plastic Vibrator
Bottom Line: Great for women who are gluttons for punishment or who enjoy bigger toys.
Price: $44.99 (at Pexxx)
Manufacturer: California Exotic
Size: 10″
Material: Soft jelly over plastic
Best For: Clitoral stimulation
Review: B-
When my girlfriends and I were in high school, one of our favorite activities involved buying vibrators for each other. The Rabbit was our perceived pinnacle of self-pleasure, an item we always discussed and ogled enviously but never purchased due to a hefty price tag well out of our student budget. So when I received the Rabbit as my next item to review, I considered it a clear act of karmic fate. Unfortunately for me, karmic fate lead to a rather disappointing outcome.
Since my experience with sex toys is admittedly limited, I found myself gun-shy of just pile-driving myself with 10 inches of soft jelly rolled over hard plastic, so I relied on my old formula of popping in a naughty DVD and fantasies of Aurora Snow as Catwoman to set the mood.
The head of the Rabbit went in easily, gliding smoothly with the lubrication resulting from my vinyl-clad Aurora fantasy, but as I began to attempt to guide the shaft in, I could only feel as though I was screwing myself with a Louisville slugger. I’m not opposed to pain, but as someone who usually dominates in the bedroom, I prefer to be the one dishing it out, not receiving it. Thus, feeling like I was being ripped apart doesn’t exactly align with my concepts of sexiness.
Still, in the name of good pournalism, I resolved to give the Rabbit another chance. After all, in fairness to Jack Rabbit, he is the largest size I’ve ever had, so why hold that against him? Besides, I hadn’t even made it to the part that gives the Rabbit its’ memorable name, so it seemed premature to end it already. Thus, in the vain hope that there still might be an untold orgasm to be found within the motions of the Rabbit, I continued working with it, defaulting to another lesbian phone-sex session to help relax my muscles and hopefully intensify the Rabbit experience.
Even when I was able to work the Rabbit in to where it was attempting to stimulate my clit, I could not get rid of the sensation that the Rabbit was tearing me up. Indeed, turning on the vibrations only made this worse, as the rotating gears made me feel a little too much like I was stuck in a paint mixer. This was bad on two levels: first, for the entire twenty minutes I spent working with this thing, the only result I had to show for it was a sprained wrist, and second, this means I have to strike any and all fantasies of ever having sex with black men.
Despite the best attempts, the combination of hot pornography, Aurora Snow fantasies and steamy phone sex were just not enough to save the Rabbit from being on my “Do Not Use” list. If it’s any indication, not wanting to waste the atmosphere, after twenty minutes of feeling nothing but discomfort (and thinking I smelled smoke at least twice) I ended up chucking the Rabbit on my dresser and instead finished myself off with the guaranteed-to-make-me-scream Gyro. At this moment, the Rabbit serving my needs as a holder for my hair scrunchies.
In conclusion, I’m taking into account my lack of experience with considerable sizes to give this toy a B-, because I think for women who either gluttons for self-induced pain or are more accustomed to sizeable partners, it is no doubt an ideal item for self-pleasure.
Weaknesses: Uncomfortable for smaller women.
Batteries Needed: 4 A Batteries
Clean Up: Soap and Water.
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