Blog 2/21
Celebrity Sex Tapes We Don’t Want to See & A Vivid Girl We Do
Gene Simmons…Really?: By now I am sure that most of you have heard that we have yet another celebrity sex tape out there. Once again though it is someone that few, if any of us want to see naked. (My apologies to Aussie Rockgodess who will probably strangle me for that.) The tape is on www.GenesSecret.com and shows a man who appears to be the classic rock legend boffing some hot blonde. Some blonde that isn’t his long time partner Shannon Tweed that is. Gene’s response to the tape didn’t include a denial so let’s assume that it really is him. The big question is who really wants to see this. We got to see Tommy Lee and his impressive tool when he dished it out to Pam Anderson. Then we had to watch Vince Neil and Bret Michaels take their turns with Pam and Janine respectively. So we’ve already seen a few aging one-time rock stars fucking. I thought that we decided long ago that Gene sans-make up was nothing we wanted to see. Why would anyone assume that Gene without pants is any less horrifying? Did we learn nothing from The Tom Sizemore Sex Scandal or Screeched? Male celebrities in general are not interesting subjects for sex tapes. Especially when their appeal to a female audience decreases exponentially as they lose layers of ‘celebrity’ and clothing. Why do I get the sneaking suspicion that Pfizer and other drug companies will be watching closely to see if Gene is a good candidate to do a “Before and after” commercial for ED meds or perhaps one of those “male enhancement” programs. I can see it now. Gene sitting in a big comfy chair with Shannon at his side as he explains “I’m Gene Simmons, but you already know that. Many of you may have seen me in my world-famous, award-winning and spectacular sex-travaganza. Remembering of course that the camera adds fifty pounds and that certain angles cause many things to look much, much smaller than they actually are, I would like to say that what you saw was actually the ninth encounter of the day so I may not have been at my peak performance. For those of you like me who would like that tenth time in a night to be as firm as the first, try Readi-Wood pills. You too can party like a rock star.” Yeah, I’m guessing that a tape of Shannon fucking would do a whole lot better than this one. On the other hand, at least Gene has earned his celebrity status. Can the same be said of Kim Kardasian or that ass hat she fucks in her movie?
Eye Candy: She may not be much of a celebrity, but Kim Kardashian is easily the hottest chick to ever star in one of these things.
Sunny Does Boys: In the last blog I talked about Sunny Leone making her boy/girl debut in B Skow’s . Now that I’ve had the chance to review it, I’m totally impressed. This woman is gorgeous and her scenes are really good. I don’t remember the last time I made a Vivid movie a featured pick. (Dana DeArmond’s Role Modeling scored that tag for Vivid-Alt last month.). The wait for Sunny’s first boy/girl turned out to be worth it. She does Matt twice in the movie, including a hot three-way with Monique Alexander in the mix. Don’t miss Rebeca Linares or Meagan Monroe either. I think that I might have to make this the first Vivid movie that I put on my HD/Blu-Ray shopping list.
Blu-Ray Vs HD: With the announcement from Toshiba this week that they were dropping the HD-DVD format, the great format war seems to be over. How will that affect adult? That’s been a topic of conversation on a few of the boards. I don’t think it will change things that much. We have seen a few companies really getting behind HD-DVD and Blu-Ray has taken off a bit. Neither of these formats is the solution for what ails porn. With so much product going to web-based formats or being stolen, I don’t know if introducing a more expensive format is the answer. I have had the HD-DVD player for over a year and I do like it. The picture quality is great and I’m looking forward to getting the Blu-Ray player hooked up. As much as I enjoy the new formats, I still haven’t built much of a collection. While we’ve got over 500 DVDs in the library, I’m not sure if I’m ready to go buy into a format where the discs are twice as expensive. Of course I say this, I’m ready to start my porn on Blu-Ray collection and am trying to figure out if I should get the Die Hard, Spiderman or Pirates of the Caribbean Blu-Ray discs first.
Eye Candy: A little pretty girl solo action in this gallery from DVDTube.com
Brazzers Goes DVD: Just as some people are turning to web-based content, a number of web-based companies have hit the DVD market. Jules Jordan Video is now distributing the stuff from Brazzers. Their first DVD Big Tits at Work is a stunning tribute to…..class? Big tits at work. That’s right. It’s a pretty good collection. Their second DVD Big Tits at School just came out and it is similar, but with the big tits being moved from the work place to the classroom. (Or from the office setting at one end of the studio to the classroom setting at the other.)
Silly Celebrity Story #1: It’s been a while since Michael Moore has even popped up on anyone’s radar. That little flame-out he had on CNN after his (pretty decent) latest movie flopped seems to have sent him packing. Now, without a new movie to get people riled up over and desperate for attention, Mikey wants to make a big deal out of his Oscar date. Apparently he wants to bring Fidel Castro to Hollywood to sit next to him at the event. Yeah Mike, that’s a good idea. I’m sure that many in the crowd would applaud their revolutionary brother even as they sit in five thousand dollar suits with their stretch limos waiting and enough jewelry around their necks to feed a village for a decade. Hollywood is just that hypocritical and stupid. On the other hand, do you think that inviting a guy who systematically persecuted, jailed and executed homosexuals as “enemies of the revolution” and still denies that any exist in Cuban society is really the sort of guy you want sitting in that room? Come to think about it, is that kind of man someone that ANYONE should want to sit down with for an evening of entertainment? You know what, go ahead Mike. Invite him and if the Hollywood power folks don’t have the balls to boo him off stage (Kind of like they did to you a few years ago) then maybe the good people of Hollywood can let Castro what they think of his death squads.
Eye Candy: Action from BoobInspector.com. They have 3-day trials for $4.99 for those who like big boobs.
Silly Celebrity Story #2: It should be #3 if we count the Gene tape thing, but let’s just stick with two for today. Bill Maher is another of my favorite nutbars. His list of crazy shit is really long so let’s just focus on one factor of Bill’s insanity. During the 2000 and 2004 election cycles Bill tried to get people to believe that he was a Libertarian. While it would make sense for Bill to actually BE a Libertarian, just saying that you are one, doesn’t make it so. Proving the point that he was a phony, Maher supported Ralph Nader while claiming to be a Libertarian. If you can’t see the problem there, then quickly take a look at the Libertarian Party Web Site and then glance over at any of the Nader sites (This one appears to be his current official site.) The two positions staked out by the LP and Nader couldn’t be more diametrically opposed. So how is Maher a Libertarian if the man he supports is not in any way, shape or form a Libertarian? What does that have to do with 2008? Good question. Fast forward, second verse same as the first. With a full slate of Libertarian candidates running for President and a former Libertarian candidate (Ron Paul) getting a whole lot of press, one would think that Bill would have to back one of them. Instead he has picked his candidate. As he did in 2000, Maher, the phony Libertarian has picked the least Libertarian of the bunch. He’s an Obama guy. Anyone want to bet he never comes out and explains how any of the Senator’s views remotely match up with Libertarian ideas. Let’s not even think about what might happen to Bill’s empty head if Nader actually goes get drafted into the race. I swear, I don’t know which is the most absurd celb-story in today’s column. Michael Moore wanting to escort a genocidal homophobe to the Oscars, Bill “I’m a Libertarian” Maher supporting Obama or Gene freaking Simmons having a sex tape. Damn we need a good Britney Spears story, or maybe some nudie shots of Lindsay Lohan. (Tomorrow folks, tomorrow.)
Eye Candy: Speaking of Britney, how can we forget these lovely shots of Brit’s beaver.
