Overall rating: F
Name: Teddi’s Tickler Kit
Reviewer: Savana Switzer
Type of Toy: Mini-vibe kit
Bottom Line: The only thing that’ll be tickled is your funny bone.
Price: $20.99 at www.PEXXX.com
Manufacturer: Nasswalk
Size: 2″ solo, up to 3 1/2 with sleeves.
Material: Plastic
Best For: Anal and vaginal stimulation…right.
Review: F
When I arrived home from class one day to spy a well-shaped UPS man on my front porch, I was understandably ecstatic. Personal fantasies of being able to coyly ask “Need any help with your package?” aside, I knew he was delivering a shipment from everyone’s favorite porn purveyor, Rog. I wasn’t disappointed, and as I looked through the ten assorted toys and tantalizers, knew that Christmas wouldn’t be the only thing coming in my house that day. Even better, Rog had been considerate enough to send me some new girl-on-girl flicks, since he knows how much it helps the process of reviewing toys along.
So, I admittedly had high expectations for the first toy I decided to try out. The Tickler Kit caught my attention because it was discreet and featured five changeable sleeves over a short, sleek bullet vibrator. While I haven’t personally owned a bullet before, I did have a chance to observe its’ hypnotic power at the co-ed passion party I attended a few months ago, where the consultant had three bullets to give away as prizes to the various games we were playing. One bullet went to my best friend Z, who drew the most “desirable” penis (it vibrated) much to the offense of his heterosexual senses. The remaining two bullets were considered the spoils of war as the remaining women in the room circled each other in a death-battle fashion. I suggested settling the dispute through a stripping competition; sadly, no one took me up on this.
But, back to the toy at hand. Unfortunately, from the get-go, there were problems with the Tickler Kit. Though I was impressed that the good folks at Nasswalk were nice enough to include the necessary batteries, I had problems extricating them from the package. If you’re an organized individual like me, you like to keep the original packaging around to serve as a sterile case (as opposed to, say, a sock). However, since I had to rip the batteries out, there was no hope of keeping the plastic casing. It was an annoyance, but I figured the Tickler Kit was small enough to fit in a baggy, so no big loss.
After finally wrenching the toy and batteries free from the plastic, I started trying to load the small, disc-shaped batteries into the vibrator. The batteries got wedged in at an angle, adding to my frustration. I ended up resorting to some tweezers and a large magnet to get the batteries out so that I could re-load them correctly, a process which took almost twenty minutes.
Finally, about forty-five minutes after I set out to do so, I reclined on my couch watching Violation (a flick Rog had been so kind to send me) allowing a wetness to settle between my thighs, building up anticipation towards toy play. After lightly running my fingers teasingly over my clit for a few minutes (and obviously wishing that the fingers belonged to one Ms. Aurora Snow) I turned on the Tickler, hot and bothered, and anxious to get some sexual gratification.
Sadly, I’m still waiting for that sexual gratification. The Tickler turned out to be a disaster.
To begin with, the vibrator had about all the power as one of those pocket fans people use to cool themselves off with in the summer. There’s more vibration in one of those gyrating mechanical ponies kids are always begging for quarters to ride. The sleeves didn’t help the Tickler Kit win any favors. Two of them were clearly designed for anal play (though not identified as such, which could be really confusing and unfortunate for an inexperienced playmate) and one was obviously intended to be a clitoral stimulator, though none delivered anything except more frustration. Each sleeve was so jellied and awkward, I wondered if petroleum was used in their creation process, or if I didn’t pick up a dog toy by mistake.
I have to say that this was by far and away the worst toy I ever reviewed. The only saving grace about it is that when I reflect back on all of the time I wasted yesterday, I have to laugh at just how much Murphy’s Law seemed to be in effect (almost as if I had suddenly made an appearance in an Ashton Kutcher flick). In fact, I almost wish that someone had been recording this from the start because there is no doubt the video of the hour and a half of time I wasted screwing around with this toy could have been a finalist on America’s Funniest Videos.
Weaknesses: Difficult packaging, set-up and failure to deliver.
Batteries Needed: Already included.
Clean Up: Soap and Water.
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