Some Assholes Are Too Funny
Imagine What Women Go Through
I don’t usually have this much fun posting stupid MySpace email, but this one is too much. As some of you know I rote my MySpace profile picture every few days. Most of the time I’m not in the shot because let’s face it, who wants to see me. Sometimes I’m in there with a porn girl or I put up some stupid shot from my long hair days or a cute baby picture, but usually it is a shot of a girl in a Rog Rules T Shirt. Such is the case right now. I have a Carmen McCarthy shot that Vouyer Media sent over a while back. I’ve noticed that I get a lot of random friend requests and some silly emails when I have girls in the picture, but I never actually figured out why. As it turns out you can just browse profile pictures without every looking at the profiles. So some guy sees a cute girl, adds my profile and never bothers to read about the site, who I am or any of that. No big deal usually, but the following exchange was too good to pass up.
Some dude named Tyler who uses the MySpace Name “It Still Like WTF” sent me an add request. As I always do for anyone over 18 I accepted. Five minutes later I get the following email.
mmm so how u doing there sexy u need to hit me back
I naturally assume that isn’t talking about me and has just seen the picture and not bothered to read the name above the profile. (Or looked at the 40 year old MALE right next to the picture.) Rather than remind him that such an email would be rude annoying even if he got the gender right, I decided to find out how the hell he found the profile and responded with this.
Rog: Just curious, how did you find me and why did you add me?
He replied in less than 60 second with this.
well i was looking around and sawl u and was like damnn ur sexy as hell how do u not no me jp but yea ur hot
Though I wondered how someone like this could make it through the day I left the obvious alone. (Ummm we aren’t text messaging. You have a full keyboard in front of you and even if you spell and type as poorly as I do “you” is just not that freaking tough. Instead I kept it simple.
Rog: So you were checking out pictures and didn’t actually read the profile. Is that about right?
I would have thought that after a couple of hints this rocket scientist MIGHT have checked the profile, but not yet.
yess it is yy
And why is everything doubled? I notice a lot of “kk” for “ok”. It’s bad enough he can’t type “why” but why double your workload with “yy”? I was pretty much done and gave him a simple…
Rog: Just Wondering
Well, genius boy finally got around to looking at the profile and took a whole six minutes to type out the followings. (Ladies, want to bet six minutes is as long as he has lasted with any other human being in his life?)
eewwwww ur a fucking dude what the hell is rong with u man u must not be a ladys man bc u have to look at porn all day and shit ur a fagggggggggggg forreal
See, wasn’t the punchline worth the set up? Brilliant! Yes, I’m a “fucking dude” it “fucking” says so right in my “fucking” profile next to the “fucking” picture of the “fucking” girl you will never “fucking” get close to in your “fucking” life. See usually these guys figure it out and are semi-cool about it. It’s not like I pretending to be a chick. I just prefer to put up pictures of hot girls instead of my ugly face. For that I get this sort of thing? What the hell is “rong” with me? I’m not the one trolling MySpace profiles for any picture of a girl and then firing off “u need to hit me back” emails. Seriously dude has this ever once worked out for you? I must not be a “ladys” man? OK, if hitting on strangers (Dudes and chicks my friend) makes one a “ladys” man then no I can say that I’m not. As for porn, I don’t “have” to look at it all day, I choose to look at it all day. Oh yeah and I get paid to do so. Remember that when you’re jerking off later to the picture of Carmen while talking to your new “hot girlfriend” on Myspace. (Memo to you MENSA, “She” is probably a 15 year old boy jerking off with you.) And to cap it off…”ur a fagggggggggggggggg foreal” just has to be the saddest attempt at an “F-you” sign off I’ve ever heard. Sparky, you’re the one who hit on a guy thinking he was a chick because you apparently can’t read. I won’t insult my fine gay friends by using the same slur to slam you. Instead I’ll let your emails speak for themselves. You’re an illiterate little punk who has no class, manners or brains. You’re too lazy to read, too lazy to type and in the end too big of a pussy to just smile and say “sorry for the confusion thanks for sharing a picture of a hot girl instead of your ugly face.” Wouldn’t that have been easier? Run along TylerShipley, you bore me.
