Where is Shay Jordan: Ongoing Story
Missing From the Pirates 2 Box, Shay Turns Up in Odd Places
A few weeks ago Digital Playground released the box cover art for the sure-fire mega hit Pirates 2. At that time I wondered what happened to Shay Jordan. She is the only DP Contract Girl not to make the box or the poster. I called for an immediate Congressional inquiry into this catastrophic event. (Read Complete Article Here) Naturally no one in Washington cared to do a thing so I launched into my own investigation. Where was Shay Jordan and how did she end up off of the biggest movie cover of the year?
Armed with only my keen senses and a burning desire to find out where Shay went I started on an exhaustive month long hunt to find her. While my search for her anywhere on the Pirates 2 artwork has thus far been fruitless, I have uncovered some very interesting artwork. It wasn’t easy and I had to do my best Nick Cage in National Treasure to uncover some of these rare “original” pieces. At times it has felt like I’m playing an X-Rated game of Where’s Waldo, but the results will amaze and shock astound you. Some of these may shock you, but I will not rest until I have uncovered every last missing image of Shay Jordan. Read on…if you dare.
TIT-Anic: Shay may not be on the poster for the biggest porn flick of the year, but she was on the original artwork for the biggest movie of all time. That’s right folks Shay Jordan was supposed to be on the box cover for Titanic. If you look carefully at this original artwork that my spies stole from James Cameron’s fortress of solitude you will see that Shay is the one who actually came between the star-crossed lovers on that ill-fated voyage. You can also see where that “I’m the King of World” line came from.
XXX Dark Knight: By now most of you have probably seen the Dark Knight at least once. (Twice if you’re lucky.) You know how great Heath was as the Joker and you know that it is probably one of the best movies of 2008. You know that it blows the doors off of most anything in the comic book/super hero genre. What you may not know is that the Joker was only one of two villains originally slated to go after Batman in this movie. As you can see from this one time only poster printing, there was a female villain, Six-Gun Shay, who was set to take aim at the Dark Knight. As you can see, Shay was clearly a scene stealer and they decided to cut her out in order to make the rest of the cast look better.
It Was Twenty Years Ago Today: This one was a real shocker. We already know that Shay is an incredible looking woman who can act a bit and fucks like a demon. What I didn’t know is that she was so musical and such a part of the cosmic energy that the Beatles were plugged into. Though it was recorded two decades before her birth, the Beatles Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band album cover originally contained a photograph of Shay Jordan. It undoubtedly freaked out record executives when the band told them that they had been sent an image of such a perfect goddess from the future. Unfortunately, the world would have to wait nearly four decades to bask in the beauty that is Shay.
That is all I have been able to come up with so far, but I have been told that many other examples of Shay Jordan popping up in the strangest places. If any of you find any, please pass them along.
