Discreet Sensations The Vibrating Brush

Overall Rating: A++

Type of Toy: Concealed Vibrator

Bottom Line: Guys, you may have just become obsolete.

Price: $89.99

Manufacturer: Discreet Sensations www.DiscreetSensations.net

Size: 7″ long

Material: Aluminum (Brush); Soft jelly (6 attachments available)

Best For: Vaginal stimulation.

Review:

During this time of year, most people are camped outside their mailboxes, anxiously awaiting their tax returns to arrive. Not me. Not only is my tax return rather pathetic (hello, I work retail part-time and go to school more hours than there are in a day (the IRS just doesn’t seem real sympathetic to those conditions) but even if I had a check ranging in the thousands, the most valuable package to arrive is courtesy of a little company called Discreet Sensations based out of Michigan.

It goes without saying that during my time at the Adult Entertainment Expo in January, I discovered a number of exciting, amazing and sometimes odd toys on display. Since Rog and I only had one micro-recorder between us, I spent most of my time wandering the floor and networking with the best toy companies that the industry has to offer. It was during this time I discovered the one vibrator that may make all future sexual encounters obsolete.

Passing by the Discreet Sensations booth, I saw an array of metallic objects, a flashlight, lipstick tube and hairbrush. Intrigued, I couldn’t resist getting up close and personal with Bill, an engaging salesman that struck me as the kind of guy you’d like to play cards with, proceeded to unscrew the barrel of the brush to reveal a sleek vibrator. I could only stand stunned as Bill explained the immediate future would bring toys that would be multi-functional as working flashlights, shades of lipstick and of course, hairbrushes. What can I say? I was immediately sold on the product and finally introduced myself as the Internet’s premiere sex toy reviewer, and like a kid approaching a mall Santa, I all but begged Bill to let me review the Brush, who graciously agreed to send me my own Brush after the end of the AEE.

Last week, the Discreet Sensations arrived, complete with a jellied attachment called the Snail for water play and a monogrammed velvet drawstring bag. Already, with the polished silver finish, the Brush was the classiest toy I had ever received, a theme that I thought appropriate to work into the review. So, I drew myself a bubble bath and lit a few candles, inserting an old Shade CD into my shower radio. I really wanted to have some champagne, but given that it was only 10 in the morning, I mixed it with orange juice had a mimosa instead. By my calculations, it had to be 5 p.m. somewhere, maybe Italy.

Slipping into the tub, I let the water soak into my skin while “Ordinary Love” filtered out the shower radio’s speakers. After a moment, I allowed myself to remove the Brush from the bag and touched the shaft, marveling at the cool feeling of aluminum. Because I was already in the bathtub, I decided to try the Snail-inspired attachment first. Spinning off the concept of the Rabbit, the Snail contained two off-shot antenna perfect for stimulating the clit and for women looking to be a little exotic, nicely shaped for some vaginal play.

The antenna of the Snail laid on my clit perfectly, and I pressed the bottom of the shaft and immediately felt vibrations that jolted my whole body. It wasn’t an unpleasant feeling, just surprising that it contained as much force as it demonstrated. The pulsating action that took my breath away with vibrations that rippled through the water and pulsated like an increased heartbeat, I found the kind of power that inspired me to bite my lip in ecstasy. With one hand resting on my sudsy chest, the other gripped the shaft and worked it over my clit, gently and then with serious force.

With some concentration and the talent of the Brush, I was able to climax fairly quickly, which surprised me–generally, it takes me longer to climax in water, simply because the varying sensations of wetness can be very distracting to the task at hand. Not that I’m complaining, because working on myself for 15 minutes does get tiring. Still, after taking a breather, I wanted to try the Brush without the Snail attachment, so I hopped out of the tub and went into the bedroom, shaking off water and slipping into a simple babydoll.

Laying on the bed, I engaged in some light foreplay with myself, gently flicking my clit and fingering myself. Once I was ready, I brought the tip of the Brush to my edge, working myself up a little more to be ready to be entered. As happy as I am to experience a clit-induced orgasm, I always feel unsatisfied until I climax from penetration, and I didn’t wait long to coax the shaft inside. Immediately, I felt my body jar with the pulsations, my hips instantly gyrating to the sensations. I nearly lost it there and then, but I felt determined to get at least a 10-minute experience out of the Brush, so I alternated and moved the vibrating head to my clit, stimulating another crackle of electricity up my spine. The Brush was making quick work of me in what was clearly the most satisfying sex toy I have ever—and likely, will ever—review. Not surprisingly, my goal of at least a 10-minute encounter fell short by about four minutes and I came with more intensity than I can recall in recent weeks.

Needless to say, I’m absolutely hooked. In an industry that often defines success based on size, the Brush is reasonably-sized and realistically wide, but has three elements that make it a preferred playmate.

First, the aluminum (which could understandably be a turn-off for some women) actually helps to super-charge the experience, because it increases tactile stimulation. The aluminum does get warmer with effort, but never to a dangerous temperature. Instead of a vanilla encounter with the same routine plastic, a cold rod of aluminum may be enough to drive some women over the edge.

Second, the Brush really is discreet. Not every Gadget Girl wants to advertise that she is a fan of self-loving, and the design wizards at Discreet Sensations thought of just about everything. The Brush not only looks like an innocent brush, it functions like one (I used it to pull my hair into braids just this morning). More brilliantly, the barrel head of the Brush has a separate compartment where sneaky girls can store those items that might make them blush (a spare condom, a mini-tube of lube or for those hotel-room encounters, Gadget Girls may want to hide their wedding bands). And due to the material and the clever brush-façade, it is the most discreet sex toy on the market to travel with, a major claim-to-fame of the Brush’s parent site. For Gadget Girls on the go, it means they have a reason to look forward to hanging up their power suit during those boring business conferences.

Third, the Brush seeks to relieve the stress on our pocketbooks. As truly glamorous as my job of masturbating and watching porn is, it doesn’t always pay enough to finance playtime, which seems to be a complaint for a lot of people. So it always pleases me when I see a company trying to go above and beyond not only to offer the best damn toy around, but the best damn deal, period. The folks at Discreet Sensations thought that through and developed an additional seven attachment heads, including the elongated Flipper G (perfect for stimulating the under-appreciated G-spot) and the textured Ringed Pleasure (perfectly ribbed) which functionally make the Brush an “8-in-1” product, with the cost ultimately breaking down to about $20 per vibe. At such an affordable price, we never have to again stress over trying to fill the gap with a completely worthless toy that might as well be used as a paperweight for the satisfaction it generates. Trust me, even the worst sex toys in the world retail at significantly higher, making the Brush one heck of a long-term investment at a short-term cost. And in a world where the cost of a really awful sex toy can rival a tank of gas, is it any wonder why we should take a deal when we see one?

Still, the bottom line is simply this: you may never need a boyfriend again. Carrie Bradshaw, eat your heart out.

Weaknesses: None.

Batteries Needed: 4 AAA (not included)

Clean Up: Soap & Water.

For more sex toys, visit: www.DiscreetSensations.net