Guest Blogger Ivan: The Jaded Truth
I have been a fan of Ivan’s work for a long time and consider him one of the best shooters in the game today. He’s done some great features and one day someone is going to give him a serious budget so we can see what he can really do. In the meantime you check out his great gonzo work for Anabolic. Ivan is also one of the best people in this industry. He’s honest, loyal and a great friend. This is exactly the sort of blog I would expect from him. I hope you enjoy it. (Oh and we’re heading to a baseball game in two weeks, hopefully with a couple of hotties, so we can bring you a fun blog filled with eye candy.)
Ivan Writes:
The Jaded Truth
In our lives we encounter many set backs, pit falls, wonderful moments … good and evil. Or at least our perception of it. What some consider bad times, others simply disregard as life’s lessons. What some consider positive gestures, others question the sincerity of the act.
On a daily basis in porn we encounter these events, gestures and moments that Jade us. Or at least add another reason to create that feeling. I consider myself pretty well rounded and a respectful person. People that know me will most likely agree. But with that kindness come pitfalls of actions by others who will try to skew scenarios to get their way. As a trusting person it’s easy to get frustrated over the same issues over and over again. But I guess this is where common sense or simply just thinking things through comes into play. Yes, for most part women in our industry are paid to act like they want it, they want you and that they love every minute of it. Some do, yes. Some don’t. So there is where the problem comes in. Who genuinely is there as a friend, no questions asked and who is playing the daily game and grind of getting that next shoot.
As a director for a prestigious company at one time I was shooting up to six movies a month, I ran into a lot of performers who were friendly, who were kind, who flirted and some even spent time with me off set. But as a director who chooses to always keep it professional, I wondered who was genuine or who was playing the game. Jaded a bit, yes. Worried, not really. The only time it was a concern was when I would let someone in my immediate circle … you know family and none porn friends. At work I am Ivan, at home I am Slava. Mostly it’s the same thing, what you see is what you get. I like horror movies, love sports and love bright colorful shoes and jerseys. That doesn’t change. I am loyal and dedicated to a fault when it comes to friends, relationships and work. So when someone jumps into my life that I feel disrespects that sanctity, it does bum me out. Badly.
But no matter what my friends say regarding the woman in the industry … like that’s what they do, that’s what they are, it’s their job. I simply don’t believe it. I choose to treat every person as an individual because everyone has a story to tell. Each one has a path in life that brought them there. Each one is someone’s daughter. So judgement wise, I can’t do it on the whole spectrum. But individually I can. Yes, I have been used as a friend. Yes I have been heart-broken. Yes I have felt like fuck it, time to be like the rest. But being Jaded like that will only limit you to what you will let in and how you let that in.
I have also experienced and seen how porn girls can and probably should be jaded. The things I have seen on other sets or heard first hand, I understand. Imagine asking for a ride home and feeling that that person will most likely be asking for sexual favors. Yes that can jade you. Big time. Imagine being on set and the director asks for favors. Jaded type of event? Definitely! So you get girls who grow a hard shell or simply close their emotions away while in town or on set. Many don’t even like being called by their real names. I have seen producers only call girls by their real names, disrespectful and power games. No real names, no real friends, no real emotions … until they get home. It’s just easier that way. Is that being jaded for a reason? Yes. Should they give every person the benefit of the doubt? Maybe. On my sets, this is not an issue because who are we to step on someone’s emotional toes, ruin their day or take advantage? More girls need to understand how they are in charge and it’s their bodies that run the industry. But it’s hard so they give in. And get jaded in the process. In their eyes most guys want to screw them either out of their pants or out of their money.
Here is a quick example. A few years back, after our shoot I overheard a girl talking to her boyfriend. She needed a ride to Studio City (home). I live in Hollywood which is right past her place. I offered her the ride and that’s when the jaded part of the industry comes in. To me it was simply a gesture of a ride, to her and her boyfriend they saw motive. Upon calling her boyfriend with this news, he proceeded to make sure to tell her that she can not do anything with me or for me. Uncomfortable moment to say the least. I am waving my hands as she is arguing with her guy, I am simply going no, no, no. Just a ride, I don’t want even gas money let alone favors. On the ride home she apologized for that but explained how she has faced same scenarios with different results. She got home safe and sound. And all I got was a smile with a thank you. That’s all I asked for. Because I understood. Two weeks later my ex-girlfriend got a ride home from set and the guy asked for a sexual favor. She gave him gas money but her night was ruined. She was now not a friend but a piece of meat again. She got jaded and left the industry with more memories like that then the girl’s in my car.
I guess I am Jaded, but in a different way. Jaded in that I can not or will not judge until I know the facts and have dealt with it myself. Should I be jaded against opening up or trusting? Maybe. Will I? Probably not.
Because just one day the person you push away with the Jaded shell around you, might be the person that could really crack that shell and open up a whole new world to you.
Ivan
