XRCO AWARDS ’98

OVERALL RATING: 5

133 Mins.

Wicked

THEMES: Awards Show.

CONDOMS: Some Noted

1998

STARS: Serenity, Juli Ashton, Vicca Nikita, Tom Byron, Chloe,

REVIEW:

For those of you who don’t know, the XRCO is the X-Rated Critics Organization. They hold an annual awards show and this year, have made a movie out of it. Actually, it’s awards show footage with scenes cut into it, but hey, for those who couldn’t be there, it’s a chance to see what it was like. It’s also a chance to see a number of different scenes from award winning films. Hey, since I’ve never been asked to join the organization, it’s a chance for me to see what the thing is all about as well. (To be fair, you were invited to this thing last year, but didn’t go.) (You know, after six hundred reviews, you still haven’t been asked to join that group. How much do you suck?) With Serenity and Juli Ashton are our co-hostesses and they begin by interviewing Bill Margold. Funny, he talks about how the XRCO began as a protest organization. (Anyone thinking IPCO, Internet Porn Critics Organization.) They move around, interviewing a number of stars, including Johnni Black, Tricia Devereaux and Sean Michaels. The dual interview with Paul Thomas and Max Hardcore is pretty funny. Put a Jimmy Carter mask on Juli and this would be no less shocking than those old Camp David Accord pictures.

The first award is for the “Unsung Siren” and the winner is Chloe. (She beat out Mila, Melissa Hill, Monique and Jacklyn Lick.) We get to see Chloe in action from the Wicked video “Satyr.” Mark Davis gets the honor of tasting her sweet treat. With a crowd watching, he mish fucks her for a while then turns her over. With that inviting ass starting at him, what is Mark supposed to do, but bone her butt raw. Great anal scene that ends with Davis firing a load on her boobs and chin.

The Unsung Swordsman award goes to Dave Hardman. He and TT Boy team up with Kelly Trump in a scene from another Wicked vid, ‘Point of Entry.” In this abbreviated scene, the action is fast and furious. Kelly has two cocks in her from the start and the guys never let up. Kelly is a great looking woman and this a hot looking DP. Nice close ups and the long shots highlight her picture perfect bod. Killer facial as well. I think I’m going to have to go find this movie.

The best girl/girl sex scene goes to a deserving group of rug munchers, Jeanna Fine, Tiffany Mynx, Stephanie Swift and Deva Station from ‘Miscreants.’ This fucking scene is so damn hot it’s incredible. Jeanna and Tiff do one of the best lesbian scenes I have ever watched. Stephanie and Deva were totally upstaged in the original, and had they not joined the redhead in making a meal of Ms. Swift, we might never have noticed they were in the room. Jeanna just lets the dirty talk stream forth as they help Steph fuck her asshole with a dildo. Where is my copy of ‘Miscreants’ I need to watch it again.

The best boy/girl sex scene goes to Nikita and Mickey G from ‘Psychosexuals.’ I have never seen this movie, and never really liked Nikita at all to be honest. Still, the long, standing anal is worth a look. Mickey makes good use of his condom, using it drip splash her eye with his cum.

Dyanna Lauren wins the award for Best Actress for ‘Bad Wives” She was great in this movie, and the scene they chose is perfect. She starts out fucking hubby Jon Dough on the couch, but moves to the stairs where things get really hot. The standing doggy on the stairs is some of the best sex Paul Thomas has ever shot and Dyanna has never been hotter. She even plays with his load after Jon fires it onto her pretty face.

Tom Byron walks away with the hardware for Best Actor from ‘Indigo Delta.’ Tom was just fucking brilliant in this film. His dialog scenes were awesome and as always, he delivered some serious sexual energy. His scene with Serenity is one of the best I have seen her do and thankfully, that is what we get here. See my full review of this movie to see just how much I loved this scene, but suffice it to say that while Tom may be winning the award, it’s the super fine lines of Serenity that everyone is watching. Great doggy, and beautiful reverse cowgirl. Tom and Serenity just cook in this scene.

For Starlet of the Year, XRCO chooses Nikita. (What?) Her girl/girl scene with Vicca would be a really good time to go get a beer. Artsy, well shot, but a sexual snoozer and how did they come to this decision?

The list of Best Video Features was pretty solid, but picking Pyschosexuals over Miscreants and New Wave Hookers 5 is a travesty. (This and that Nikita thing should be enough for a net rebellion.) We get a third Nikita scene as she takes on a couple of guys. Even with three guys on her, the shaky camera work and below average appearance of the focal point of the scene makes this one pretty dull. I know, it’s harsh and no offense, but Nikita does nothing for me looks wise. There is anal, there is DP, and there is me, not caring at all.

Another winner is “Filthy First Timers” from Van Damage for Best Pro Am Series. We get a three on one scene with a naughty new girl. (Candy Hill.) This is a hot scene where she outfucks all three studs. Tom Byron wins another award for Best Anal Scene with Alisha Klass. Don’t miss this short but hot ass fuck with a killer facial. Another scene from ‘Psychosexuals’ wins the best group award. Chloe, Missy and Ruby make for a nice trio of lovely ladies and check out Chloe cumming with a cock in her ass.

For Best Gonzo Series, ‘Shane’s World’ beats out some very big names. Shane shows a little big of the style that won her this award by taking two gal pals up in an abandoned building and letting them go wild with each other. Nice, outdoor, semi-public, lesbian dildo scene.

At least they get it right when they choose John Leslie as Director of the Year. Of course, I want drug tests for every one of them for picking Jill Kelly over Tiffany Mynx. (Remember the year she had in 97? Fucking amazing.) Not only is this a miscarriage of justice, it also means instead of Tiff, we have to watch a Jill Kelly scene. Have I ever mentioned how I think Jill was born a…….ahhhh never mind. Byron wins Male Performer of the year and that gives us another scene with Nikita. Not for me, thank you.

Finally, ‘Bad Wives’ takes home the award for Best Film, thankfully beating out that piece of shit ‘Zazel.’ The scene this time is a smoking three way with Missy taking in it in the ass from Tony Tedeschi while Tricia Devereaux is there for back up. Tricia’s anal is even better. How one guy gets so lucky is beyond me, but this scene is just fantastic.

Stick around for the post award interviews they are pretty interesting. This is a pretty interesting two hours of viewing. There is enough sex from the shortened scenes to keep things exciting and the awards show is probably best enjoyed in this abbreviated form. Rather than tell you again which of the scenes I liked and which I didn’t, I’ll wrap this up with another open call to internet critics. Watching these guys makes me see what they must have seen fifteen years ago. The young turks have become the old boys network and it’s about to time to give them a wake up call. Some of the selections are silly, others are downright ludicrous. This tape is still worth a look, especially if you’ve ever wondered what goes on at a porn award banquet. It also highlights some hot scenes from movies you may want to check out as well.