CELLAR DWELLER

www.ElegantAngel.com
Elegant Angel- 1996
DIR: Robert Black
STARS: Alicia Rio, Missy, Tricia Deveroux, Heather Lee, Barbie, Jessica Kane
THEMES: Rape, Execution, Drug Use, Demons, Alan Sex, Spitting.
OVERALL RATING: 3+ (But has one of the best scenes of 1996, go figure)
REVIEW:
Elegant Angel is top dog in the adult video world. No, they can’t outsell the public relations machine at Vivid, but people who know or care about smut know that the EA Empire sets the standards. The line of excellence is as long as Sean Michaels cock, Bruce Seven, Buttman, Patrick Collins, Joey Silvera, Rocco, Rex Borsky, Greg Dark, Bionca, Tom Byron and the newest jewel in the EA crown, Robert Black. Black has blasted onto the scene with an in your face style and Cellar Dwellers is his latest creation. This video was so prominently displayed in trailers on other EA product, most of us have already seen, and many have looked forward to with great anticipation, me included.
Anyone who saw the little film “Clerks” a few years ago will recognize the badly plagerized premise and style of this video. Instead of wise cracking, hilarious clerks in a connivance store, the two main characters are shallow, drugged out pawn shop scum who are neither funny, nor interesting. Breaking up dialog and/or sex with shots of drug use is on par intellectually and cinematically with video taping one’s dog taking a shit and then watching it over and over, laughing hysterically. Personally, I don’t need one third of my non sex footage to be a tribute to smoking pot or crack. Attention porn directors, here is a tip. If you are going to pay homage to (Or steal from) great films, try and do it well. This is just two pathetic guys, weakly attempting to act their way through lame, pointless dialog.
Enough of that, the iead is that these buffoons are the guardians of the cellar, where troubled customers go on a pay per visit basis to fix their problems. If the above ground images are drug infested and droll, the cellar is a nightmare of misogyny and depravity that the Andrea Dworkin’s of the world could only dream of when they make up their anti porn rants. I’m sorry, free expression rules, but the idea that a cheating wife (Tricia Deveroux) should be strapped into an electric chair is at least in poor taste, and a worst violently anti-woman. I know, you’re all saying “What happened? Did Rog lose his sense of humor?” No, I get the joke, but the whole tone of this film is not a parody, but over the line.
Tricia doesn’t die in the chair, and instead fucks her three would be executioners. The sex is a bit rough, but not entirely unappealing since Tricia has a nice body and a pretty face, however right when things start to get good, they go south in a big hurry. Fucking ugly ass Steve Hatcher puts his hideous grille right next to Tricia’s and the two spit in each other’s faces. Now, someone please tell me what is remotely erotic about this sick little activity. This disturbing trend in EA videos makes Zane videos ever did look like Harlequin. It also managed to ruin the rest of the scene for me. Actually, the scene isn’t much to look at anyway. Cute or not, Tricia just can’t help but look as if the whole is as unpleasant as possible. Hey, Black, she obviously doesn’t want to lick the guy’s asshole, so don’t make her. Some anal, DP and three drippy facials cap of a scene that until the final shots is at best forgettable, at worst offensive and nauseating.
Another long, annoying interlude at the counter with the guys leads to Steve Hatcher (Is this fucking guy everywhere?) asking for some fresh meat. (Now that was a GREAT EA video Rog, why aren’t you reviewing that one?) What he gets is Heather Lee. Fresh? I don’t know. Innocent? Fuck no. But, damn I haven’t seen her look nearly this good since her early days. The hair color looks great and she still attacks cock like no other. The scenes is going along great until we have to see more spitting and the ever popular, let’s practice for child birth by stretching the pussy out as far as it will go with our fingers shit. That is just something I can do without.
Heather’s blackface wearing pimp, (Something that was funny when the Dark Brothers did it in the 80’s, but now just seems mean spirited and lame.) joins in the fun, making her the center of a raucous three way. Now, this is a woman who licks asshole and dives right in. Much better than before. In fact, without the spitting shit, this scene is one of the very hottest I have seen in some time. Heather goes after cock with her mouth while she gets her ass fucked hard from behind. The piledriver DP is pretty fresh, but it looks like Hatcher and pimp-boy are bumping bellies. Pretty damn funny. She does her best with a pair of weak pop shots, smearing the goo all over her face, making a very messy ending to a pretty good scene. One of Heather’s best. (Post boob job that is.)
Up next is a newcomer, Barbie who falls victim to a pair of home invading rapists. It is a struggle for them to tear her clothes off and she makes not mistake that this is not what she wants. Her cries of “No.” are really clear, making this the most realistic, and therefore the most disturbing, rape scene I have seen in porn in many years. Without getting too into this whole debate, and with the caveat that Rog believes in the power of make believe, I still have to say that I can do without rape in porn. After a while, she starts to go along with what they are doing, (Because after all, women love rape.) (NOT) The rest of the scene for those of you who chose to watch it, is quite standard, some spitting, lots of anal fingering, a DP and of course a double dose of cream on her still alarmed face. There is, as need be, a twist at the end, but it still was way to harsh for me. No thank you.
Alicia Rio is the next to enter the cellar. She wants to test her faith, and to so means, having to fuck “angels” Jessica Kane and Missy. A very sexy setup. Too bad it starts off with more facial spit shots. Other than that, it is quite a hot scene, with Missy and Alicia going at each other with equal parts lust and hatred. This full on, toe sucking, foot fucking lez fest leads the way into an all out sexual free for all. There is a lot more foot play than I like, but the sex is still top notch and scalding. Missy and Alicia at opposite ends of a two headed dildo is fucking incredible. Too bad, the guys around them don’t get more into the scene. The three facials at the end are a nice touch to what otherwise amounts to a very good girl/girl scene.
Beautiful Missy is back for the final scene, this time in a shark cage, with three horny guys circling around outside trying to get a sweet piece of meat. It is Missy who gets the healthy doses of meat here, right between her lips. Does anyone else think that watching Missy suck cock is one of the true joys in pornography today? There is no pseudo rape, no demons, no electric chair here, just one very hot woman fucking three guys like you won’t believe. These guys have her crawling the chain the link fence, begging for more cock. A woman this beautiful with this much on screen passion just puts almost every other performer to shame. Missy is fantastic, nothing less. The DP is very good, but the final facial cumshot is the very best moment of this video. Fantastic scene from Missy that is one of the best sex scenes of 1996.
I can’t say this video is a total waste of time, since three of the six scenes are good to great. Missy’s scene at the end is one of the very best I have seen in some time. Her lesbian scene with Alicia Rio is pretty hot as well. Heather Lee also gives a fantastic performance. The three other scenes were disturbing, revolting and just not my cup of tea. This spitting thing has just got to go, and the other violent and degrading themes make me pretty sure I will not be picking up any more Robert Black videos again. This guy’s misogonist tendencies make Max Hardcore look like Alan fucking Alda. You know, I have found certain directors of adult films who sometimes cross the line of what I call good taste in the past, but never have a seen a movie that so completely obliterates that line like this one. (I take that back, the Zane Sorority Puking Sluts thing may have been worse) Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying this video should not be ALLOWED to have been made. What I am saying, is that in my opinion it should not HAVE been made. I find nothing at all erotic, sexy or redeeming in faked executions, rape and demon sex. Just one man’s opinion, but hey, what more do you need?

www.ElegantAngel.com