TABOO 2001

OVERALL RATING: 2 (Too technically sound for me to give it a 0)

105 Mins.

DIRECTOR: James Avalon

Metro

THEMES: MTV Porn, Future Sex

CONDOMS: None Noted

2001

4/01

STARS: Nicole Sheridan, Syren, Ava Vincent, Voodoo, Kiki D’Aire, Aurora Snow, Lola, Briana Banks

REVIEW:

I know that the Taboo movies are about as close to sacred cows as we have in porn, but this one nearly slipped by me. It’s not that I don’t like the line, it’s just that it hasn’t been remarkable in a long while. After seeing some incredible blurbs about this movie from other critics, I just couldn’t resist taking a look. After all, whenever print reviewers pencil a movie in as the best of the year before summer is even over, then there must be something really special going on right? (Dark Angels? Zazel?) I don’t know if this movie has anything to do with the original incest themes of the early Taboo movies and frankly, I will probably enjoy it more if it doesn’t. One thing that’s obvious from the first thirty seconds, if this is an incest movie, it’s a twisted Jetsons incest story taking place sometime in the future.

Voodoo is trying to get Ava Vincent to try a little virtual reality headset. She is worried about some sort of thought police, but slips the goggles over her eyes and off we go. That puts us into a cyber fantasy between the two. (I’m sure there is a reason for him not just reaching over and giving her the real thing.) This already looks like one of those high gloss, MTV porno movies that make critics stand up and shout, but makes the average guy’s unit stay tucked as cozily against the sack as a WNBA game. Also thrown in for good measure is Big Brother type government that quickly dispatches the thought police to stop the fun. (Oh yeah, pencil this is for some AVN Awards.) Having watched Vincent do some very hot scenes in the past, the slow motion, backlit blowjob with computer graphics and thought control voice over is not something to stroke over. Ava looks good taking cock, but it’s hard to enjoy the sex when it’s broken up like this. She does take a nice facial at the end.

After they finish their cyber fuck, Ava and Voodoo are taken into custody. We then learn all about the current state of affairs. It’s the not too distant future and all sexual activity has been outlawed. Not a new theme for porn, but hey it works. Since genetic engineering is all the rage, many of the cops actually look like the crooks they try and control. (Convenient way to keep the cast down eh?) The cops are monitoring what looks like a sex bar. That lets us check out Aurora Snow and some other oddly dressed hotties getting it on under the strobe lights. Big credit to the people editing this thing. It looks very pretty and professional, but even as Aurora, who is a sure thing sexually, sucks Joel Lawrence’s big cock, I am left limp by the fact that Avalon seems to forget he is shooting a porn movie. Sure, I’d love Aurora on a leash, waxing my rod with her quim, but with all the flashing lights, how can I watch without getting a fucking headache?

Nicole Sheridan has to go into the club under cover in order to bring in the bad guys. As soon as she arrives, the leader, Syren, announces that there is an interloper and it looks bad for whoever crossed the line. Luckily she survives the first ‘cut’ and gets to watch a very odd little show. With music and visuals lifted directly from 2001- A Space Odyssey, three girls approach a giant phallus in space suits and begin masturbating. As much as I really, really like Stanley Kubrick, this is way down the list as far as porn tributes to the late film legend. Even with Aurora back in the mix, it takes way too long for anything remotely hot to happen. Naturally Nicole finds herself unable to keep her hands off of her pussy as the girls finally get a cock to play with. Briana Banks actually manages to overcome artsy lighting and inexcusable cut aways to guys in the audience (Hello James Avalon, have you considered that guys might want to stroke to your stuff and cutting away to some random dude is maybe not the best move?) Aurora gets the last of the action, taking cum on her cute little butt.

The experience changes Nicole’s outlook on things and she is lured into sinful thoughts. Will she be able to handle another trip? When she makes her way in this time, she’s actually starting to like it and that can’t be good for her. This time we get an underwater theme with Kiki D’Aire as the sexy mermaid fucking and sucking with the sounds of a fish tank in the background. There is a brunette there as well, but again, the scene is broken up. This time, by dialog between Syren and Nicole. Predictably, the blonde is getting turned on and is about to be lured into the show herself. That’s all great, but it sort of leaves the scene at hand as just another backdrop.

Nicole is sure that if she goes back, she will either actually have to fuck or get killed. Preparing for the awful event, she envisions a forbidden tryst with her boss (Voodoo). Hey, half the reason I wanted to see this movie was to watch Nicole bust loose with one of her always hot sex scenes, but even here the editing is so heavy handed that it’s only half as hot as it should be. Even so, her flat on the belly blowjob is very nice looking and about as close to strokeable as anything in this movie. After the leggy blonde gets fucked in her pussy, she bends over and takes it in the ass. If Avalon would just hold the camera still and not cut every three seconds, this would be some very hot anal footage. There is even a facial. Easily the best sex scene of the movie, this one still limps along when it should be an express ride to release.

In the end, Nicole is more than happy to see that she has been wrong all along. (If only someone could convince the director and editor the same things) The final over produced, sexually lukewarm fiasco is an island them complete with steam from the fake volcano. (It sure isn’t coming from the sexual energy since it has all been drained.) If you’re looking for good news it’s that this is the last scene of the movie. On the other hand, much of it is slow motion, prolonging a three way that could have been hot, but just isn’t.

If you were hoping to see a continuation of the edgy old Taboo series, where incest was explored, sometimes celebrated and even questioned at times, don’t bother. This isn’t your father’s Taboo. I give James Avalon a lot of credit for making a movie that looks excellent. The sets are good, his lighting is very creative and Taboo 2001 is certainly one of the most nicely put together pieces of video of the year. That said, there is one little problem that my esteemed colleagues in the print media seem to have forgotten. This is supposed to be a porno flick. You know, masturbation material, whack off stuff, smut and all those other things that Avalon seems to think are unimportant. For all the credit I give him for the technical aspects and a serviceable (though fairly tired) story, the sex is just dismal. Not even Lola, Aurora and Briana can turn this nicely shot piece of would be art into anything more than dreary porn. Too much slow motion, black lighting, shiny clothes, voice overs and cuts quick enough to make a Chihuahua on crack say ‘damn that shit is fast’ make this just another example of award winning porn. That’s right, pencil this one in for a bunch of little statues because it’s just the kind of pretentious, pretty, technically outstanding but sexually frigid Eunuch-porn they love to reward. It just isn’t the sort of movie that is likely to stir much movement below the waste in the people who actually rent or buy X-rated movies.