TABITHA & KIMBERLY’S HIGH SCHOOL REUNION

OVERALL RATING: C+

PICTURE QUALITY: B-

DVD EXTRAS: C+

86 Mins

DIRECTOR: Jim Powers

Horizon/Heatwave – 1999 (6/97)

THEMES: Humor

STARS: Tabthia Stevens, Kimberly Jade, Candy Vegas, Leeanna Heart, Brooke Ashley, Mila, Tim White, Kyle Stone, Tony Tedeschi, Jack Hammer, Earl Slate, Billy Glide.

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REVIEW:

Anyone who saw Mira Sorvino and Lisa Kudrow in the mainstream comedy hit ‘Romy & Michele’s High School Reunion’ has certainly wished for an X-rated version. Well, Tabitha Stevens and Kimberly Jade are a far cry from Mira and Lisa, be we’re still going to see how it might have happened if Jim Powers were in charge of those two Hollywood starlets. With the requisite number of sex scenes, don’t expect quite as much story or as many one liners, but at least we can see how a mainstream script translates to smut. For those of you not familiar with the original, let me fill you in. Tabitha and Kimberly are a couple of twenty something chicks who have a lot of fun, but suddenly realize that they have little going on their lives when they are invited to their high school reunion. They come up with a brilliant plan, get a hot car and good jobs before the reunion so they can fool everyone into thinking that they have great lives.

Tabitha goes out looking for a job and quickly finds that her lack of skills make her career options limited. Kimberly has a job and that puts her in close contact with a guy who can get her the car. All she has to do is sweet talk one of the mechanics, Kyle Stone. (Doing a comical accent.) Like in the original, he agrees to loan her the car, but since this is porn, Kimberly has to do more than pretend to fuck him. Not only Kyle, but his buddy Jack Hammer as well. Sure, I would rather see Mira Sorvino going down on a dick, but Kimberly takes it so naturally, who can resist? Jack licks from behind while her head bobs up and down in Kyle’s lap. Nice energy in the fucking sucking make up for the fact that Ms. Jade is average looking at best. She does take a nice hard DP from the two grease monkeys and that’s worth a few heat points by itself. Once the guys fire their loads, it’s off to the reunion.

On the way, Kimberly finds herself thinking of a guy from her high school days named Jimmy. We get to see how Jimmy has turned out. He’s married to Mila and they don’t seem all that happy about it. Of course, as soon as she leaves the house, he’s got her two girlfriends, Leeanna Heart and Brooke Ashley sucking on his cock. Hey, it might not be good for the marriage, but it’s damn fine for this movie. Leeanna is great looking, but she takes a back seat to the cock hungry sucking of Brooke. Anyone lucky enough to have these two perfectly delectable dick pleasers at once should count his blessings. Instead, he seems a little sedate as Brooke bounces up and down on his dick. Dude, wake the fuck up, you’ve got one of the dirtiest little Asian sluts in history fucking you. Maybe Leeanna is more his speed since he perks up a bit when he switches partners and bangs the flexible Jennifer Love Hewitt look-a-like. Of course, it’s Brooke’s little asshole that gets royally reamed, reminding the former high school stud of why he loves the good old days. Lovely shared facial with some cum swap kissing to finish things out.

Stopping on their way the reunion, our two heroines take a little detour. Since they’ve never tried lesbian sex, what better place than the side of the road. This is Tabitha’s first action of the movie and she does manage to generate a lot of heat with her nasty girl partner. Now, someone explain to me what they’re doing with dildos in the car. Whatever, Tabby knows how to sue the rubber rod on Kimberly. Thank goodness they borrowed a convertible, because they are all over the place. Sadly, the lesbian sex can’t save their friendship. Oh no, what will they do?

The reunion goes badly, but that’s what happens when you lie about who you are. For anyone who saw the original movie, you have to get a laugh at how the dialog pulled out in big chunks. We also see four story lines all begin and end in about five minutes. Rather than make your head spin with all of them, I’ll cover the sex scenes. Earl Slate is tremendously wealthy and back only to come in and sweep Tabitha off her feet. He takes her to limo, proposes and has his cock in her mouth faster than you can say ‘less teeth please.’ With all the talking she has been doing about being a whore, it’s clear Tabitha has the body and skills to do just that. Earl moves her into a few tricky positions in the cramped quarters, and Tabby loves every inch from every angle. Pulling a nice dismount, she ends up wearing whatever semen she can’t swallow.

Elsewhere, Montana Gunn is busy sucking off a mysterious cowboy from high school. When a teary eyed Mila happens by, Montana tells her to shut up and start sucking. Montana and Mila together? Damn, Tony Tedeschi may be in trouble. Love them or hate them, you can’t deny that both of these women attack cock with total lust and abandon. Tony takes it from their mouths, slips on a rubber and starts slam fucking Montana while Mila growls encouragement. Mila goes her one better, taking it in the ass in a really sexy piledriver fuck. This really is one of Mila’s sexier scenes and it ends when Tony cums on her puss only to have Montana lick it up.

As a parody of a funny mainstream movie, this movie falls way short. The great original material isn’t handled all that well, but no one is really watching this for the wit are they? Sexually, it would have been much better had the lead characters not been Tabitha and Kimberly. Tabby isn’t bad in her one scene with Earl, but Kim just isn’t that pretty to look at. LeAnna Heart and Brooke Ashley would have made better leads, and they do provide the best scene in the entire flick. That said, there is nothing bad about this movie, it’s just pretty average save for the aforementioned Brooke and LeAnna three way bang.