Kim Jong Il apparently has taken up golf and damn is he good. Reports say that his first 18-hole round ended with the dictator at a whopping 38 under par. (Yes, 38 UNDER par.) The round included 5 holes in 1. Five. Damn. Considering most pro courses only have four par 3s on the course, he nailed an uno on a par 4 or 5. That is some impressive swinging. (Note: Anyone want to take bets on how many scorekeepers this depraved fuck executed before the second loop of an 8 was completed during this round?)

Sticking with sports for a bit, yesterday was a big day. It was seven years ago to the day that Mike Tyson snacked on Evander Hollyfield’s ear during their title fight. What I remember most about that night was that Kaitlyn Ashley and her then boyfriend Mike (Who was in the Private Diary of Tori Welles with Kaitlyn) were over to watch the fight and celebrate Kaitlyn’s 26th birthday. That was a lot of fun and I can’t believe it’s been seven years already.

In crazy spots news, Florida Marlin Carl Pavano has gone from being the guy traded to Montreal for Pedro Martinez to being the guy who dumped Alyssa Milano. I realize that he’s having the best year of his career, but who in their right mind would drop a hottie like that? More importantly, will some guy swoop in, seduce Alyssa get her on tape and sell it over the internet soon?