Loaded

FEATURE RATING: 10

SEX: 4+

OVERALL RATING: 8+

110 Mins.

DIRECTOR: Nic Andrews

Digital Playground

www.digitalplayground.com

THEMES: Cops, Action

CONDOMS: None Noted

2004

11/03

STARS: Jesse Jane, Barrett Blade, Eric Masterson, Tyce Bune, Brittney Skye, Cheyne Collins, Asia Carrera, Lea De Mea, Lee Stone & Chris Webber

REVIEW-

Nic Andrews doesn’t make movies like other pornographers. In a recent interview he beamed with pride as he told me that he had edited the sex scenes in his new movie down to five minutes a piece. I’m not sure if that is a good thing to most people watching, but it leaves Andrews free to take care of the things he really likes to focus on. No one in porn today shoots with a more solid mainstream sensibility than Andrews. If you take out the sex scenes (And if he’s got them down to five minutes, he is close already) then you have a solid movie. Andrews has his usual cast of regulars in this movie including Barrette Blade and Eric Masterson. He’s also got Digital Playground’s won Jesse Jane and that means we get to watch one of the hottest looking girls in the land for the next two hours.

Cheyne Collins is part of a late-night street race and squares off against Brittney Skye. Since she “doesn’t fuck losers” he gets very lucky when he wins. They hop into the back of a van where the shot blonde gets right to work. She stays dressed while licking up and down his cock. Though not the best blowjob she has ever given on film, this sets us up for some easy on the eyes spoon fucking with Cheyne pounding away on her shaved slit. Cheyne takes her from behind for a while, leaving a load on her cheeks. This is not a five minute sex scene, but it is over done in about seven.

Blade and Masterson a couple of quick-talking cops. Their dialog is good, though some of lines feel rushed as they order fast food and discuss Masterson’s recent separation from his ball-busting wife. They race across town and catch Cheyne with his pants still down. After using a few techniques not found in the police training manual, they get some valuable information about a very bad man who is paying top dollar for a lot of stolen cars. The story gets more interesting when Jesse watches her boyfriend (Lee Stone) take one in the head from Tyce Bune over some missing VIN numbers.

After the killing Tyce relaxes with a foot massage from Lea De Mae that eventually turns into a blowjob. It’s nice to see a homicidal maniac unwind with a pretty blonde girl on the business end of his fuck stick. (Yes, but what sort of message does it send to the kids?) Their sex is rather low-energy, but Lea looks great as she rides his cock and gives him all the fun he needs.

Masterson goes to Jesse’s apartment to question her about the murder. It’s pretty amazing to see how far she has come as an actress in just a year. Her dialog scene is really good. He leaves and she has a dream filled night. This allows us to go back to find out one of the things Jesse loved about Lee, his monster cock. With the new-age chanting that in only found in dreamy porn playing in the background she gives a very hot blowjob. On all fours, she gives us a great view of her perfect ass. Even in a movie where the focus is not on hard-core sex, Jesse manages to raise the temperature a considerable amount. Sliding her perfect little body over his cock, she shakes and bounces like mad. Lee rolls her over and fills her with every inch of meat he’s got. This is one scene I would have loved to see go on longer.

The bad guys nearly take Jesse out, but she manages to escape just inches in front of a torrent of bullets. Barrett and Eric sit on the witness in a cheap little hotel. Jesse has good dialog scenes with both men. Eventually she hooks up with Eric while trying to help him with his relationship with the wife. Cue the music; it’s time to for the contract girl to get naked. The grieving blonde slides to the floor and puts her pretty lips around Eric’s cock. With the camera moving so much, it is hard to really enjoy the beauty of this act, but Jesse manages to shine anyway. They move through a three-position sex scene that has great looking doggy and finishes strong with spoon and a good popshot on her chest.

Following a lead provided by Collins, the trio shows up in time to square off with the bad guys in a high intensity gun battle. (Complete with some fantastic stunt work.) The good guys lose the fight and Tyce takes off with Jesse. Perhaps they should be worried about getting her back, but there is always time for sex. When their boss, Asia Carrera chews the guys out, Barrett has to go in and smooth things over. She drags him over to her desk and makes him earn his way out of the doghouse by working overtime between her thighs. Asia seems pretty excited, working her tongue over his cock and working hard to get him ready to fuck. Leaving her heels on Asia throws one leg over his shoulder and rubs her clit while Barrett goes balls-deep into his boss. The best looking footage comes with Asia bent over the desk, taking it hard and waiting for him to unload so she can turn around and take it on the tits.

That does it for the sex in the movie, but as always Andrews has a big finish waiting for us. The climactic gun battle is epic and we even get a little hand to hand combat between Barrett and Tyce. I won’t give away the end of the movie, but it is something worth sticking around for. Before I do a closing paragraph on this review, I think it’s time to come up with a new way to rate some of these movies. From a technical standpoint, this movie is a perfect 10. There probably won’t be a better looking movie this year, but the sex is just way off from what I want to see. I’m not sure how I will resolve this, but it’s movies such as “Loaded” that have made me look for a way to balance things out to be fair to everyone.

From a technical and mainstream aspect, this is one of the best adult movies I’ve seen in a long time. Since Andrews focuses so much on the non-sex side of this flick, that is where I will begin. I am a sucker for a good script and this one is very tight. The story is solid and gives Andrews all the excuses he needs for some snappy editing, fast cars and obligatory gun play. I really like several of the dialog scenes. (And picking out some borrowed lines) Blade and Masterson are good as always, but Jesse really deserves a lot of praise. She has come a long way and is outstanding in this movie. If she is not nominated for this performance I will be stunned and disappointed. In the middle of all this praise, I will take a few second to talk about the sex. It is not the focus and on some level, the movie suffers because of it. It’s very high on the eye candy scale thanks to a really great looking cast. Jesse, Asia, Brittney and Lea are all beautiful and have good energy. What I would really love to see is a movie co-directed by Andrews and someone like Mike John or Jules Jordan. Let Nic make his movie and then have a hard-core gonzo director shoot sex scenes. I think that might give us the perfect porno flick. Other than the sex scenes, I love the way this movie is edited. It is slick and plays like a mainstream action movie. The fight and gun scenes are well choreographed and brilliantly shot. This is where Nic Andrews excels. If anyone is looking for a high-octane movie with great stunts, good dialog and beautiful women, “Loaded” is perfect. Maybe not as perfect as Jesse Jane, but that’s another story.