California Blondes 2

www.BlacksOnBlondes.com

OVERALL RATING: 4

MOVIE TYPE: Feature

72 Mins.

Video Exclusives

DIRECTOR: Mark Curtis

THEMES: Blondes

CONDOMS: None

1987

6/87

STARS: Dana Lynn, Barbie Dahl, Liza Anne, Stephanie Rage, Billy Dee, Frank James & Sasha Gabor.

REVIEW-

I have been cleaning out the office and finally found a box of videos that I kept when my family sold our video store. I’m not even sure how many stores are going to carry this flick. Hopefully we can find some though because for a cheesy 80’s pseudo-feature this one is pretty good. It stars two of my favorite B-girl blondes from the Regan-era, Dana Lynn and Barbie Dahl. They are the blondes on the box and they look great in their little bikinis. I think this movie found its way into my long-term collection because the cover shot reminds me of all the great summers I spent on the beaches down there near SD. For those of you who missed the whole porn on video revolution, Video Exclusives was one of the first companies who churned out pointless semi-features on a daily basis. They basically took place in two or maybe three bedroom sets with the cast just playing ring around the bed while spouting some lame dialog and then getting busy. They weren’t always pretty and were almost never memorable, but on the plus side, this dead period gave us the gonzo revolution. We’ll have to cover that some other time class.

Wow I forgot how cheesy old titles looked and how incredibly mind-numbing 80’s porn syntho-slop was. Frank James and Sasha Gabor are a couple of guys who are new to the West Coast. Frank is all excited, but Sasha hates the idea of being in Cali. To convince his friend to stay, Frank demonstrates how easy California blondes are. He strolls next door where he finds Barbie fresh from her jog. She’s a platinum blonde with natural tits and a squeaky little voice. In no time at all he has her sexy little nipples in his mouth and is working his way down to his first blonde pussy. Barbie gives out some cute little squeaks, but wait until you hear her later. She gets on the floor and seems happy to see the sizeable meat Frank brings to the table. There is little eye contact in the blowjob, but we get some nice shots of her from behind. As soon as Barbie gets on top of Frank she starts moaning and letting out little cries that almost sound like Paris Hilton’s dog. It is actually kind of sexy and you have to love the way she looks taking that big thing in her lovely young snatch. Frank rolls her over and takes her in spoon. The day-glow yellow socks probably look silly to most people now, but they were quite the thing back then. Barbie puts his dick back into her mouth but has him shoots all over her sexy little boobs.

As they finish up, Barbie’s roommate Dana shows up. She is another petite blonde who is painfully cute. Answering the phone she ends up talking to Sasha and agrees to come over and welcome him to the neighborhood. The idea gets the creepy Euro-neighbor so turned on that he starts whacking off. In his fantasy young Dana takes his cock into her mouth and moans sweetly. Her has a very pretty face and happily lets him slide his meat between her lips. As he drops his balls into her mouth, Dana’s fingers are busy working on her tight pink hole. Sasha pulls down her shorts and we get a great look at her tight young body. Taking full advantage of her giving nature, he drills her hard from behind. It’s a wonder Dana doesn’t end up with rugburn on her cheek the way her face scrapes the floor with every stroke. The editing is a bit choppy, but there is some good footage anyway. He teases her asshole as she rides and then rolls her back onto her tummy to fuck her until the cream dribbles out onto her butt. Check out the way she reaches around to milk the final drop out of his dick.

Right on cue the cute blonde shows up and finds him wiping cum from his lap. Even though she is ready to fuck, he can’t quite get it up again. No worries though because Frank is right there with what she needs. Dana has even nicer tits than Barbie and one of the most perfect little pussies you will ever see. She can also suck that big dick like a pro. Using her hands on the shaft she has it up and ready to mount in about a minute. (Check out all of the ripped off pop riffs in this movie, here comes “Walk Like An Egyptian.”) Dana’s ass fits nicely in his hand as she gracefully waxes his pole with her juices. In spoon we get some brilliant tight shots of her action. He gives her long strokes and then unloads all around her snug little butthole.

All recharged Sasha shows up looking for Dana. He finds Barbie inside resting in her bikini. She has heard of his problem, but is happy to find out that he is ready to try some blonde California pussy. Sasha starts with her tits, but gets her out of her bikini bottoms so he can taste her furry slit. (With Phil Collins’ “Take Me Home” playing in the background.) Barbie’s hair is a little 80’s hair metal to be sure, but those soft lips look really good working up and down his pole, making it rise in her talented mouth. She really wants to fuck and looks great in cowgirl. (Neutron Dance going full blast.) It’s like a VH1 Back to the 80’s special here.) Her sexy talk and moans are pretty funny, but you know she would have made a perfect Max girl. He buries his meat into her from behind until he pulls out and dribbles it down her thigh. (Gaping pussy shot here though.)

Now that he is convinced to stay, Sasha doesn’t need any more proof that California blondes are hot. So when Frank has another girl, Liza Anne come over to dance, he falls asleep. That just leaves more pussy for Frank. She does a good dance for him and then gives him head. It would probably be a very hot blowjob if it were only shot from better angles. (Porn has gotten much better over time.) Most of the fucking takes place in cowgirl, but he moves her spoon where he can get deeper strokes going and eventually nut all over her pussy. After two such cute girls to carry the action for the most of the movie, this girl is a let down.

The final scene is pretty much a random fuck between Billy Dee and Stephanie Rage. It doesn’t fit with the story and it really doesn’t matter. Steph would later go on to pump up her tits, but for this flick she is natural and cute. They fight a bit about her hair color. She wants to dye her hair, but Billy likes blondes. They settle it the old fashioned way, but fucking. Stephanie gives him a very quick blowjob and then rides his dick. With these quick scenes we have to salvage whatever strokeable material there is. In this case, Steph’s cute little ass during cowgirl is about as good as you’re going to see. Billy rolls her over and she throws her feet onto his shoulders for the hard-pounding finish. It’s on her bush of course, proving that not every girl in porn is a facial queen.

Well this thing has it all, bad 80’s music, guys shooting everywhere but the face and natural chicks with no tattoos. It also has sex scenes that would be much hotter if shot today and two very cute underrated blondes. So what is good about this flick? Dana Lynn is even cuter than I remember and has the sweetest little box. Barbie doesn’t look her best her and her squeaks aren’t as puppy-like as in some of her flicks. She is still pretty sexy and between these two little babes we get four decent scenes before the two throw aways. I’m not sure I can recommend this movie to everyone, but for people who do miss the old pointless feature stuff and want to see a couple of natural hotties, California Blondes 2 is worth a look.

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