Rog Writes: Cindi sent this to me two months ago and I just forgot about it. Sorry folks. Thanks Cindi.
Internext Report: By Cindi Loftus
The Internext Convention that took place August 13th-15th was a blast! Held at the beautiful Diplomat Hotel on Hollywood Beach, we were all free to spend our off hours laying by the pool in the steamy sunshine. Hurricane? No hurricane here, not even any rain. Just a very windy weekend. Although there weren’t as many attendees and stars as there were last year (maybe the weather led to last minute cancellations?), everybody had fun and lots of business got done. There was a happy positive atmosphere on the convention floor. Lots of joking, drinking, and laughing and of course most important- lots of networking took place.
Friday the 13th- Arrive at the Diplomat Hotel (from now on referred to as Dip) at 1:30pm on the first day of the Internext convention. I check in and find room 1556 where I meet up with my partner in crime Tonia Ryan. Having a few first day jitters we decide to do a few shots of Cabernet Sauvignon from the bottles Tonia brought with her. Yes “we is high class girls!” Lol Since neither of us has eaten, we have a snack of Bachman Jax that I brought (imported from NY I might add).
Off to the convention. In a very sexy voice the elevator tells us ” going down.” How appropriate to start off our sexy weekend! On the convention floor we do the meet/greet thing for a couple hours. Ron Jeremy tells me about a new movie he is on his third call back for, where he’ll be kissing an A list mainstream actress. Good luck Ron! I hope you get it!
We hook up with Tonia’s long time friend Tim, who becomes our party buddy/body guard for the whole trip. At various times we hang out with Gauge, Jason, Soxx and Wankus at the KSEX/Adam & Eve Booth, then at the pool, then at the bar. At about 5pm Tonia, Tim and I head over to Nikki’s Bar in the hotel lobby where the fab bartenders and staff give us plenty of attention. We decide some real food is order so Tonia and Tim order sushi, wait I said REAL FOOD! Just kidding. I had delicious Crab California rolls. And I was convinced by my dinner mates to try raw tuna (for the first and last time in my life). To me the sliced tuna had the texture of a sliced tomato and the spicy tuna sashimi had the taste of a spicy shredded tomato. After a bite I ask wide-eyed in my Jessica Simpson voice, “Is this fish or chicken that I’m having?” Really Tonia and Tim said the sushi was excellent, and I am no authority, so I’ll stick to the California rolls, which were the best ones I’ve ever had.
A few hours later we go back to our room to get ready for the big Friday night party sponsored by Azure Entertainment. Tonia is hungry for a burger (sushi doesn’t keep you full very long) but we are in a hurry, so we eat Pringles from the mini bar. (Who knows how much that will cost!)
Oh I gotta mention Tonia’s Blonde moment, she says to me “I’m the same age as the number on my shirt!” I say Tonia it says eighty-one. “Oh” she says “I was looking at it upside down.” (ToniaRyan.com)
The big bus took us to Cirque de Noir at club XIT. XIT is located in a funky, trashy, warehouse district type neighborhood next to the railroad tracks. The building was filled with lots of different rooms, all interesting and inviting and best of all serving free drinks including my fav Captain Morgan. There were people dressed all sorts of crazy ways including angels and devils. But there were supposed to be ponies, I didn’t see any ponies!
Friendly staff, amazing fetish wear, cushy couches with people making out, good electric/techno music, and places you could hang out and have a conversation. I liked it a lot and would recommend you have a visit.
We got back to the Dip in time for me to catch a few drinks with my little buddy Gauge who proceeded to walk up to random guys and say “I’m Gauge. You are lucky I’m here. Buy me a drink and one for my friend Cindi too.” It worked every time. We walked up to the bar and Gauge pushed her way up to the front by giving some guy next to her a little shove with her butt and knocked this 6 foot 250 plus pound guy to the floor, spilling drinks and toppling bar stools. I’m telling you she is eighty pounds of Jack Daniels fueled muscle! (She kicked ass in last month’s KSEX Games too.) Anyway, we took our last drink out to the pool. I laid on a lounge chair. Gauge climbed up on top of me, put her head on my chest and fell asleep. When Jason finally decided to hit the sack he picked up the still sleepy Gauge tossed her over his should and carried her off to bed. I wish I could’ve gotten a picture of that but digging for my camera was out of the question as I probably would’ve blown a 2.0 on the Breathalyzer myself. I went back to my room at 3am, ordered eggs and watched Shrek 2.
Saturday Morning, uhm wait, no, it was already afternoon. I went down to the convention floor at 2pm. Azure entertainment was giving out Wet Chocolates. I heard a rumor that there was a porn girl who ate ten of them and was masturbating in the elevator. Going down? Someone stopped me and said “I saw you at the pool last night, are you Gauge’s mother?” Uhm I would be privileged to be related to Gauge, especially kissing cousins, but no, I’m not her mom. Geez, I must look way older then I think I do…I might want to watch those extreme makeover shows more closely. I meet up with Summer Haze and she poses for me with one of her beautiful glass toys (HazeXXXperience.com) and told me that she put me on her guest list for the big party tonight. Summer also introduced me to the peeps from AWOL who have the coolest thing I have ever seen. It looks like a glass pipe and you suck smoke out of it, but the smoke is oxidized alcohol! You catch a buzz without the calories or the hang over. (AwolFlorida.com) I know what I want for my birthday!
Saturday Night-EroticaFest 2004- Okay folks take a deep breath, it’s gonna be a long bumpy ride…. 10pm directed to the bus (I heard it was gonna be limos), told to drink up because they were serving shots on the bus. But we didn’t make it on the bus yet; there was a dress code we were informed now. Some people have to run back up stairs and change. Back to the bus, maybe 10:30 now. We board and must sit separately because it is packed. The bus rolls off. The shots of alcohol, caffeine, adrenalin, flu vaccine, whatever shots that were supposedly on the bus weren’t there. No nothing to help occupy the almost hour-long barely air-conditioned ride to South Beach. Arrive at the Mansion to mass confusion and disorganization. The regular line is at least 100 long to get in. The VIP line gets us right in, to the sidewalk just behind the ropes where we are told to pay $20 a person even though we are on the VIP/ALL ACCESS/BACKSTAGE PASS Guest list that was made up by Summer Haze, the feature performer of the night. We are told there is no guest list, never heard of Summer Haze. We finally argue with whom we have to, pay what we have to and get into the bar. We belly up to the bar (there are no chairs to sit in) and order 2 Buds and a shot of Bailey’s, with the tip it’s close to thirty dollars. So much for free drinks! The music is painfully loud and and unpleasantly distorted, ya can’t hear a word in the song, nor any clear music. You can’t talk to the person next to you even if you yell in their ear. I ain’t gonna last long here, that’s for sure. But I want to see Summer perform. She was supposed to be on at 11, and it was already 12, so maybe she’d be on any minute. I want to see Ron Jeremy, and Carmen Electra’s wrestling girls and Alien Ant Farm is gonna play so I’ll hang on as long as I can. My legs and back are already killing me from so much convention walking. The bartenders and waitresses here are downright rude. Don’t get me wrong the inside of the club is very cool looking and designed with lots of interesting architecture, but everything happening IN the club is a bummer as far as I am concerned. A live band starts to play but it is so loud and off, it’s annoying. Then Alien Ant Farm takes the stage, they have one hit song that I know of but I never hear it. I finally leave at about 1am, feeling like I wasted my last night and was ripped off by the club. The few hours I spent at the mansion, put me in the poor house, and I didn’t even have fun!! Took the long bus ride home and made last call at the Dip bar. I found Gauge and crew who said they also had a terrible time and were hassled at the Mansion.
Sunday morning- I meet up again with the beautiful Carmen Luvana who looks wide awake and professional at this early hour, she signs a photo for Xcitement. I talk to the friendly gorgeous Vivid Girl Mercedez and she gives me a movie to review (next issue Mercedez, I promise!) I do one final spin around the convention floor and run into Summer, who tells me the club owner never let her go on stage last night even though she had given out 1000 tickets to the event. I heard Ron was on stage for ten minutes and the naked wrestling chicks did one match and wore clothes. Certainly won’t be back visiting the Mansion again anytime soon!
Props to the Diplomat Hotel for the wonderful way we were treated and not minding how many times we said fuck in normal conversation, especially you Gauge! Lol. We really loved the bar staff in Nikki’s, Conchetta, Sean and the cute gay guy, damn I can’t remember his name.
The next Internext Convention will be held in January in Las Vegas. I’ll be there! Check out Internext-Expo.com for more info.
