Ass Squirts

MOVIE TYPE: All Sex

128 Mins.

Extreme

www.ExtremeAssociatesVIP.com

DIRECTOR: Thomas Zupko

THEMES: Priests, Religious, Anal, Squirting

CONDOMS:

2007

STARS: Amber Rayne, Felony, Rebecca Steele, Paris Gables, Missy Monroe, Lisa Ann, Brett Rockman

www.ExtremeAssociatesVIP.com

REVIEW-

Thomas Zupko is back at Extreme. Back at the place where he did arguably his best work. The combination of Zupko and Extreme has worked in the past and those of us who have followed his work certainly hope that they can recapture the magic. I’m a little skeptical though, at least as far as this first release goes. Anyone who has read my reviews for very long knows that I consider Zupko to be one of the best directors in the business. At his best he can make features that are thought provoking and still ultimately strokeable. He also has a streak in them that I will never understand. The part of Zupko that seeks to shock his audience does nothing for me. His desire to mix religious iconography with hard core sex leaves me cold. That’s nothing new. There are a lot of things in porn that just don’t do it for me. What makes the religious angle so odd is that in all my years reviewing films heard from more than a handful of people who are actually looking to combine the two. It just doesn’t seem the be the most popular flavor at the ice cream counter and yet Zupko comes back to Extreme and serves us up a triple scoop of blasphemy, sodomy and something beyond description…ass juice.

Felony, Paris & Brett

Zupko paints a bleak and depressing scene before the sex begins and before anyone even utters a word. Felony is literally clawing and the floor while Paris chokes herself with a riding crop. Brett is dressed as a priest and there is a twisted Jesus hanging from a cross behind them. I’m wondering who out there finds this to be effective tease footage. With Paris now choking Felony, Brett launches into an X-rated rendition of the Lord’s Prayer that is sure to arouse exactly no one. I’ve always said the mixture of sex and spiritually can shock, it can offend, but it can never really be good porn. (If for a moment we can agree for a moment that the purpose of porn is to arouse.) The actual sex isn’t too far from what we see in other rough sex lines. Paris stands behind Felony and helps force that big cock down her throat. If that turns you on, you might want to watch. You also have to be able to stomach non-stop religious babble that is, despite Zupko’s disclaimer, bound to offend anyone with anything short of utter contempt for religion in general and Christianity in particular. It’s bleak, it’s ugly, it’s intentionally offensive and to be honest, I’m bored with the whole project already. Throw in a stream of liquid shot from Paris’ ass and Zupko has driven us straight off the cliff. I understand Zupko’s desire to shock, but I honestly doubt if anyone will be jerking off to this scene.

Lisa Ann & Brett

Using the same set and the same male talent, Zupko lets the first scene flow into the second. Lisa Ann appears dressed like a lingerie store angel. There isn’t anything here other than a great big ass shoved into Brett’s face for some action. He slips his cock between her big oiled tits. Things have taken a huge step forward with this scene, but that doesn’t mean that it’s great. We have someone as experienced as Lisa Ann quagging like a green first timer. Brett grabs her by the yead and does his best to shove that big dick all the way down her throat. She finally take a load on her face and tits. This isn’t great by any stretch of the imagination, but it is world’s better than the opener.

The next scene goes back to the dismal feel of the first. A tattooed blonde taunts a hooded man in a cage. He screams and moans like he’s being sodomized with a chainsaw. That wood killing din continues as the blonde gets fucked by Nick East. This is rather dispassionate sex that will please the rough stuff crowd I suppose. In fact, it looks a lot like the stuff other people shoot this day. A little too much camera movement, sex that is rougher than it is hot and not a whole lot to remember when it’s over.

Rick Masters plays a manic preacher who screams his way through a nutty sermon and then fucks two girls. It’s another boisterous, dreary scene that is peppered with more of that anti-religious dialog and includes a trip to freak show land. Yes, Rick gets his face sprayed by more ass squirt. There is a lot of anal here, but really it’s another dreary, forgettable scene.

Missy Monroe & Valentino

So I’m not totally negative, let’s take a moment to appreciate how good Missy looks in a business suit and glasses. She is in the front row as Valentino gives a sermon that can basically be described as the word “Whores” shouted at full volume a thousand times over five minutes. If that doesn’t give you a headache then you might be able to make it through the rest of the movie. Missy is hot and screams just as loudly as Val. There is more to look at in this scene, but it’s the same old stuff. If you’re one of those people who was already jerking himself silly over this movie, then there is more to love. If you’re not, then feel free to mail it in as soon as Missy leaves the scene halfway through. Otherwise, good luck to you,

I really wish Zupko had waited a while before jumping right back into the religious porn/freak show end of the pool. He’s just so much better than this. There is just nothing in this movie that is at all unique, remotely special or that shows off the kind of film maker Zupko is at his best. Worse yet, there is barely a strokeable moment in the whole thing. The Lisa Ann scene isn’t bad and if you turn down the music it gets even better. Missy provides some hope at the end, but by this point I was just desperately digging through a stack of smelly clamshells hoping to find a pearl. If you happen to find the mixture of religion and porn to be a turn on, then you should definitely pick this movie up. Zupko is trying to tell us something. I’m just not so sure the audience is going to get the message or jerk off to the action. When you factor in the whole ass squirt thing, I think you pretty much take away any mainstream appeal this project might have had. The sex is pretty rough, so it should have some appeal with that audience. It is also bleak, joyless and not even close to the best stuff he has shot in that regard. Without the strong sex that Zupko is capable of providing, this is just a mess. It’s a mash of anti-religious imagery, shock-babble and enema expulsions onto the faces of porn performers. Tom Zupko is a man a respect, a director I like and a great friend. He just didn’t give us much of a stroke flick this time out.


www.ExtremeAssociatesVIP.com