This Ain’t Lady Gaga XXX
MOVIE TYPE: Parody
78 Mins.
Hustler
DIRECTOR: Axel Braun
THEMES: Parody, Interracial Sex, Celebrity Sex
CONDOMS: No
2011
STARS: Helly Mae Hellfire, Rihanna Rimes, Aubrey Addams, Scott Lyons, Ron Jeremy, Marco Banderas, Marco Rivera
REVIEW-
File this one under inevitable. With porn giving everything the XXX parody treatment; it was only a matter of time before Lady Gaga got her own. Helly Mae Hellfire plays Gaga and she does a nice job. She wears the make up well and has the dance moves down. Her dialog isn’t bad and the script is pretty funny. Gaga is a media creation who has made her career on being an outrageous publicity whore who panders to a gay audience in a way that makes even Margaret Cho uncomfortable. There are plenty of jokes to that effect in the script. Her outrageous clothes are mocked a big in this movie, though I really was expecting a semen dress or something along those lines. There are three Gaga songs parodies here and one of them is pretty funny. (The theme song done to “Telephone.”) The four sex scenes all feature Hellfire in full costume and make up. That makes this parody perfect if you have Lady Gaga fantasies. Each scene plays off her fame a bit. The opener has her paired with Rihanna Rimes who plays Beyonce. They diva it up, fight a bit and then fuck. Beyond the obvious fantasy appeal, the sex is rather flat and dull. Scott Lyons plays Larry King and is really well made up. Watching him fuck Gaga is creepy, but there is some fantasy appeal there I suppose. Not so much when Ron Jeremy fucks the pop tart in the bathroom stall. I know that Ron is a legend who can play himself, but there is zero appeal left in watching him perform. He just stands there pinching it off in a way that makes us all wish he would just drop the pride thing and take a blue pill or six. The finale is pretty hot. Aubrey Addams is smoking and great as Madonna. The humor of the scene works and the side by side sex is hot. If you aren’t into the Gaga fantasy, this final scene is still good enough to be strokeable. Overall this movie is considerably less annoying than Lady Gaga, her music or her mind-numblingly bad videos. And at 75 minutes, it’s five times as long as the fifteen minutes Gaga’s meager talents should have allotted her. If only it worked that way.
Helly Mae Hellfire & Rihanna Rimes
Diva behavior on the set has Gaga (Helly Mae Hellfire) and Beyonce (Rihanna Rimes) at each other’s throats. The costumes and make up are spot on here and that’s kind of where the appeal comes in. If you loves the Gaga “Telephone” video then you can happily jerk off to the site of Rihanna’s lipstick all over Hell’s face and her tongue up that bitchy white ass. Gaga bends the experienced diva over and sticks a dildo into her pussy from behind. The rest of the action is rather pedestrian. Neither woman seems all that into the toy play. Helly appears to enjoy using her tongue on Rhianna’s shaved and meaty pussy, but overall this one lives and dies on the strength of the Gaga appeal.
Helly Mae Hellfire & Scott Lyons
Appearing on Larry King Live, Gaga gets creeped out by the old dude. (Great make up on Scott here) and of course has to suck his cock. Again the fantasy appeal makes the scene because Helly’s huge glasses and Gaga make up make it almost impossible to even see her face. Her oral skills are decent and the scene is well shot. So how much you like it depends mostly on how much you like sex in front of a green screen and how much you want to fantasize that Gaga is a raging star fucker slut with grand daddy issues. She opens her shirt and loses her skirt so she can bounce on Larry’s boner, showing off a pretty decent little body. Her body and pussy really looks good in mish and then the standing doggy offers some nice leg shots. The shot on her face caps off a decent fuck.
Helly Mae Hellfire & Ron Jeremy
Taking a break to fuck herself, Gaga jerks off in a stall with porn all around her. In the middle of her self love session, Gaga is interrupted by Ron Jeremy. He eats her and she sucks his cock. The cramped quarters make it tough to get a good angle and watching Ron pinch his dick to give her something semi-hard to suck on is just uninteresting to the point of being pathetic. It just doesn’t make for great porn. Helly spreads her legs and diddles until Ron shoots on her face. This was just a bad, bad idea.
Helly Mae Hellfire, Aubrey Addams, Marco Banderas & Marco Rivera
When Madonna (Aubrey Addams) calls Gaga out for stealing her act, the two divas have to be escorted off stage. The hunky security guards have no idea what to do with the two blondes start sucking cock. Aubrey is so much prettier than Madonna that it’s kind of funny. She does wear the clothes and make up well and does her usual outstanding work from her knees. Helly sucks and bends over to get fucked while watching her idol show how pop stars used to get famous. By now, Helly’s glasses covered head is getting a little stale, but Aubrey riding in cowgirl gives us some great ass shots. I love the way she looks in her fishnets as she schools the young pop tart. There are some great shots of Gaga licking Madonna’s ass that will likely ramp you up a bit. The facial shots at the end are great as both fantasy fodder and just good porn. The big load on Aubrey’s pretty face gets passed around as she swaps it with Gaga.
Bonus: BTS, Slide Show, Hustler Trailers, Commercials
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